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WIP Potter by I Ate Your Muffin - M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Taure, Aug 1, 2017.

  1. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
    United Kingdom
    High Score:
    13,152
    Title: Potter
    Author: I Ate Your Muffin
    Rating: M
    Status: 48,000 words (WIP)
    Pairing: None as of yet, but will be harem
    Summary: Who would've thought that a different mindset and being the heir to a most ancient and noble house would've made such a difference? Not Voldemort nor Dumbledore, that's for sure. AU because most characters have common sense. Harry/Multi. Intelligent, powerful and competent Harry. GreaterGood Dumbledore. Further warnings inside.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12574498/1/Potter

    I suspect this is going to be another controversial one. To be clear, I am recommending this for Almost Recommended, not the Library.

    TL;DR: unusually well-written but still cliche-ridden independent Harry fic with a crazy update rate.

    The good:

    - Well written from a technical standpoint, the odd typo notwithstanding.

    - Regular substantial updates

    - Talented Harry

    The bad:

    - Politically active, overly mature, mini-adult 10-year-olds and all that this entails.

    - Bad Dumbledore characterisation (yet to be seen if the author adds further complexity to his character, but from the Dumbledore POV scene this seems doubtful).

    - Simplistic magic system where things come to Harry too easily.

    - Will be harem.

    I do appreciate that on certain elements like magical cores and Wizengamot composition, the author explicitly stipulates these as acknowledged AU elements. The admission that they are AU from the start makes them less offensive as it means the story lacks the standard long tracts of justification where the author attempts to use the story to argue that these things are canonical.

    Rating: 3/5
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2017
  2. Sey

    Sey Not Worth the Notice DLP Supporter

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    Thanks for saving me the time from actually having to read it.
     
  3. Rehio

    Rehio Bad Dragon ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I was more excited when I thought the title of the fic was "Potter, I Ate Your Muffin," but no reason not to give it a shot.

    The greater good Dumbledore is so grating, sometimes. Dumbledore's always been a favorite character of mine, and it rarely feels like he's done justice.


    Edit: Alright, no. This is probably one of the most generic fics I've ever read, and the quality of writing doesn't make up for it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2017
  4. Donimo

    Donimo High Inquisitor

    Joined:
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    580
    I agree. I was very excited to read "Potter, I Ate Your Muffin", now I'm disappointed.

    Edit: Okay I read the first chapter. This is absolute garbage. The author can use spell check, and punctuation but they can't use it to actually tell a story. The dialog is horrible, the characterization is horrible. The Dursleys and Harry read like something you'd find in a peggy sue crack fic.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2017
  5. The Pro

    The Pro Seventh Year

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    This fic was painfully forgettable. Its premise isn't unique, its storytelling isn't unique, its plot isn't unique and the fic suffers for it.

    Granted, the technical aspects of the writing are okay for the most part, with the exception of some gratuitous spelling and punctuation errors. Besides that, this fic is just irredeemably cliched.

    This fic made Harry a smug little shit I actually actively rooted against. Dumbledore conspires to mould Harry to his liking by controlling aspects of his life. Snape is in on the manipulation. Girls flock to the prodigious magical genius Potter. Malfoy has a piteous lack of brain cells.

    There are some tenets to the story that I like, such as the AU take on magical potential and magical cores. The execution of those tenets as merely more things that make Harry Potter outstanding kills the appreciation, though.

    Overall, I hated it.
     
  6. capo327

    capo327 Sixth Year

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2005
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    184
    Location:
    Chicago
    I'm hoping someone will end up writing "Potter, I Ate Your Muffin".
     
  7. Jester

    Jester Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    260
    Ok Taure. You're easily one of the most entertaining posters in DLP history, and I love what you write, but this is one of the worst stories I've read in recent memory.

    The spelling is atrocious, he has multiple instances of using thrust in reference to a trust account. As an 11 year old Harry is trying to manipulate Dumbledore into exposing his intentions, is making political allies with other house Heirs, and is so overpowered after Chapter 1 that their is no chance for any real conflict. I made it up until the train scene. In this scene Harry uses his magic to make Draco piss himself. This happens after fate gives him the opportunity to meet the Heirs of the Potter's three biggest allies.

    I'm just completely stunned at how mad this story made me feel. I think I trusted you way to much Taure, and now I feel a bit hurt and confused. A DLP poster hasn't made me feel this way since Menace, wind chakras, and LT2000, Dakaath revival hype, both announced they weren't going to continue with their stories.

    1/5 This reads much more to the Terrible than Almost Readable scale.
     
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