If this was in response to my post. I made it quite clear that I was only talking about Harry.

 

Nah, it wasn't meant to be personal.

I was trying to point out that femslash is a homosexual act, so we should tread carefully with that law.
Harry should not be gay as their is no reference to it in canon.

I agree that other characters can swing whatever, but Harry is straight.

So please don't take it as personal because I probably misunderstood your point.

Litha

 

-Harry will never pay the Dursley's for anything, period. Ever. They locked him in a fucking cupboard. I don't give a fuck if he's simply paying them to get out of his hair, if that is the case he will threaten them, and force them to pay for the trip themselves. The only time Harry deals with money involving the Dursley's is when he is forcing them to pay him for being kind enough not to torture them to death.

 

Dudley is 100% fat. He will never be a boxer. He will always remain slightly piggish looking and fat. The only time that Dudley should be associated with boxing is if someone is beating the living shit out of him.

 

- Magic is something that you are born with or comes to you naturally. None of the Dursleys are magical in any way, shape, or form and if they were that would suck at it. This also applies to the rest of the Grangers and any other Muggle character that we've met.

- The founders of Hogwarts are dead. Get over it.

- If more than three articles of clothing are mentioned in any chapter (specifically with regards to shopping) then you're fic is automatically deemed fangirl worthy. And no, that is not a good thing.

- Harry can't talk to fish, no matter how much you'd like him to. He is not an elemental, nor can he fly unless safely seated in an airplane, maneuvering his broom, or jumping from a cliff... and whether you like it or not, Harry is not an enchanter, a natural Occlumens, or even a mime. Basically put, Harry does not have superpowers, if he did Voldemort would be dead already.

 

I wholeheartedly agree with that statement. While he may have the idea behind the word "happy" in his vocabulary, I think that "happy" has a connotation far too fluffy and sweet for the Big Bad Dark Lord. He probably uses more sinister words.

 

- The only time Draco's *beautiful* white-blonde hair shall be mentioned is when it is when it is being bleached under a desert sun and hyenas are ripping his carcass apart

- Next time Harry gets one of these *bonecrushing hugs* from Mrs. Weasley he shall suffocate between her breasts. The same fate shall befall the author.

 

My half ass addtions.

-Hermione Granger is the smartest witch of her age. That doesn't mean there's not a chick 1 year old, or younger who's not fucking loads better then she is at everything.

-Harry Potter will not take sodomy. Being unable to walk properly would not be conductive to successful dueling. A fight to the death with a deatheater will not be assisted in any manner by Harry's aforementioned fudge being packed. Being captured, raped anally, then rescued, will not lead to Harry yearing for the same sort of affection.

-Harry can't sing. Especially not if he sings and joins bands that didn't exist in 1996. (Linkin park, Good Charlotte, random Emo band)

-Male!Gay characters are fine, so long as they arent overly annoying about it, and are not named Harry Potter. Changing the hero to a girl, naming it Harriet Potter, does not count. The main character has a penis, and it goes into an opening on a female's body. Aforementioned female must be 100% female and not a polyjuiced Draco, wondering how the otherside lives.

 

Okay, I can see that. Although I'm not sure any female other than Pansy Parkinson is desperate enough even for the Mick Jagger Effect in regards to Draco Malfoy. He's a poncy, arrogant git with the cunning of a second-year Hufflepuff who enjoys being quite obviously obnoxious and wannabe-evil.

Anyway, onward. About the ginslut . . .

-Ginny Weasley is not an appropriate romantic interest for Harry Potter. If she persists in her hopeless crush, she will be brutally and publicly rejected. If she grows up, she may be allowed to live as the bedwarmer for a minor character such as Dean Thomas or Colin Creevey.

-Marriage at age 15-16 is stupid and irresponsible. There are no exceptions, unless somehow stipulated due to archaic laws involving the conditions of important Wills. Ginny Weasely and Hermione Granger are inappropriate candidates for these marriages, if the groom is to be Harry Potter.

-Hermione Granger may indeed be an exceptionally intelligent witch. However, it is only the opinion of her peers that she is the most intelligent witch of her age. There is an entire Hogwarts House dedicated to the studious and intelligent, who do not need to obsess over marks and revisions simply to attain a reputation of intelligence.

-Elves in the Harry Potter universe are relegated to menial tasks involving food preparation and custodial duties, and are most definitely not tall, beautiful, or immortal. Harry Potter is not an elf.

-The Dursleys are irredeemable. Dudley will not apologize; Vernon will not call Harry 'son'; Petunia will never worry about Harry's health or wellbeing. Violations of these inalienable facts are, of course, thinly veiled tricks to lull Harry into complacency.

 

Neither of those make sense, at all.

First of all, if Death Eaters can't do the Patronus charm because it's light and they're dark, then Harry and Dumbledore can't do any dark spells because they're light, which totally contradicts the fact that Dumbledore killed Grindelwauld. How can Death Eaters hate everything "light" and not do spells because they don't kill anyone? That doesn't make sense, they would have failed every Hogwarts class because all those spells are "light" or at the very least, neutral. How can evil people not have happy thoughts? Happiness is a human emotion, I recall Harry mentioning how happy Voldemort was in HBP when he broke his followers out of prison.

And secondly, what the hell? Where in the "rules of psychology" does it say that a teenage boy can't have sex with a teenage girl? Because he was verbally abused as a kid? That doesn't make sense, at all. And what does being "compatible" have to do with anything? I've talked to guys who've had sex with girls they hated, to either humiliate them, or just get off, or have some fun, etc.. C'mon, man. Harry is a teenager, psychology means dick to the average teen.

 

-Just because Harry has a trust vault doesn't mean that he has a giant family vault filled with bajillions of artefacts, books, weapons, armor, wands, and lots and lots of money. Also, Griphook would not be trusted to take someone down to their family vault nor would he be in charge of the vault and know how to open. He is a lowly banker, not the Potter solicitor.

-Goblins have nothing to do with wizard affairs except for valuables. Meaning, there are no wills filed at Gringotts, there is only money.

-Hermione may be smart, but she is only book smart, not street smart. This can be proven by her exploits with SPEW, as she didn't realize that the elves were happy were they were.

Thats all I got for now...

 

I agree with LINKed up:

Hermione is neither especially smart nor the most intelligent. She is the most knowledgeable. She can know the whole library by heart and still not be smart. She makes errors in judgement all the time and doesnt care for using the knowledge other then showing off.

 

Link: Its also shown by the fact that even after using magic EVERY DAY for a whole year, when confronted by the Devil's Snare outside of class, she went and panicked. She didn't even think of her wand until Harry/Ron shouted at her.

For someone so smart, she isn't a goddess...she isn't omniscient.

Also, she is ONLY a learner. She is no inventor. She was MIGHTY fucking pissed off when Harry used the HBP's techniques to extract the juice from those things instead of the method that the book described. She still dissmissed it, despite the fact that it was CLEARLY evident that her method was not producing the right/good amount of juice. She is obstinate and stubborn, and is certainly not a character willing to take risks.

Therefore, i propose this rule:

- Hermione Granger, while intelligent and knowlegeable in comparison to her peers, will not surpass a Hogwarts Professor in knowledge of any given subject. Additionally, the fact that she likes studying does not make her a scholar, and does not mean that time and her efforts will provide an asnwere to any question, especially if the question is obscure or outlandish. Essentially, Researcher does not equal Omniscient.

 

XVIII: The Dursleys are irredeemable. Dudley will not apologize; Vernon will not call Harry 'son'; Petunia will never worry about Harry's health or wellbeing. Violations of these inalienable facts are, of course, thinly veiled tricks to lull Harry into complacency.

XIX: Elves in the Harry Potter universe are relegated to menial tasks involving food preparation and custodial duties, and are most definitely not tall, beautiful, or immortal. Harry Potter is not an elf.

Hobbitses Clause: Harry is not the decendent of a hobbit, either.​

XX: Male and gay characters are allowed, so long as they are relegated to being secondary characters and are never Harry Potter; he has never showed signs of being homosexual - ditch that shit, suicide girls.

Anti-Kinsfire Ruling: Changing the hero to a girl to get around this ruling is stictly forbidden. The main character has a penis and it will only be permitted to enter the opening on a female's body. Aforementioned female must be one-hundred percent female and not a polyjuiced Draco Malfoy, curious as to how the opposite sex lives.​

XXI: Goblins will have nothing to do with wizards and witches save for the counting and management of their money. There are no wills filed at Gringotts.

Murderous Goblins: Are permitted.​

 

The new First Rule should be the Establishment of Characters ruling, including Harry as the main character, how Ginny is to be used and Hermione and whoever else.... just a thought but if not, I can just add what you guys already have done, which is pretty much consistant save for a few areas.

 

I have spent many minutes thinking this over. It was a couple of years ago. I asked the question on some HP fourm. "Can Voldemort produce a Patronous?"

It is not because he is a dark wizard, rather that he is a man full of rage. Patronous requires a powerful happy memory or emotion to work. Since Voldmort is an angry little shit and cant feel love, it is fair to assume that he cannot produce a patronous. However, that does not mean that he has no way of warding off dementors using dark magic. The patronous repells dementors, Voldemort probably has Dark magic that lets him dominate them.


Under no circumstances will Harry's name ever change to include Black or Evans. He is Harry James Potter, not Harry James Potter-Black or Harry James Evans Potter - Black

 

Miranda Ruling:
-If your main character has the same history as Harry Potter, but you have collectively changed his name, bloodline, abilities, friends, outlook, appearance, and have radically altered the socio-political setting of the Harry Potter universe as well as shifting the geographical focus across an ocean, you are not writing a Harry Potter story, no matter how many actual HP characters you have walk on and off the stage.

 

Just because he's evil doesn't mean that Voldemort can't be happy. He laughs like a hatter whenever he sees someone else in pain. I would call that happy.

-The Weasleys shall be poor. They may aquire monies from time to time, but it shall not last in the face of a family of nine with the appetite of twenty.

-If your story features a Manipulative Dumbledore, Minerva McGonnagle shall not be innocent. Even genius, contriving rulers of the magical world talk in their sleep occationally.

-If Harry does not kill Kreature, he is dubbed panzy!Harry, and the story should be dropped immediately.

 

-If something has been created once, it means it can be repeated. Hence, no super rare but extinct super staff for any characters.

-The founders may have been great a thousand years ago, but they are now obsolete. Accept it, 1000 years make people to advance, not the opposite.

Ouch, lots of hermione basher Y-y. i won't talk about it because i already did in the cliche thread, and it won't be polite to do so here, but...no hate clause?

 

Have you not seen Lord of the Rings? 2000 years prior to the main story, people were galavanting around with swords and bows. Then 2000 years later, people were still galavanting around with swords and bows....

But I do agree with your point