Amersion, you have given me a cruel, pointless and childish idea that I will hasten to impliment...because I am a petty and cruel person who relishes in another people's misery. That, and I really, really, really hate slash!

Using your list of questions for how MPREG is concievable, without the crappy explanation of magic, I have taken it upon myself to deliver this message to any MPREG stories that come within my crosshairs. Hopefully I will shatter the optimism and zeal of the preteen fangirls and the creepy old men and banish them from FanFiction.Net forever, leaving it safer and cleaner for all.
God, I'm going to have fun on this!
To stop any potential protest, I will acknowledge that this is cruel, pointless and immature.
Not that I'm expecting any protests from this site, in fact, if you protest in the favour of MPREG...then GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! We don't want your kind here.

Sincerely in maolvence,
Shezza88
___________________________________________________________________________
Standard Messsage
___________________________________________________________________________

Greetings!
This is my first time reviewing your story and I couldn't help by notice that this story has been designated "MPREG". I am quite puzzled by this and I was wondering if you could elaborate to me, without the overused and pathetic anser of, "it's magic", on the following points with regards to...

1.) How a child can be concieved on a single sperm cell.
2.) How a fetus can grow in the male rectal passage, and yet cause the frontal area of the male to bloat.
3.) How a fetus growing in the male rectal passage still allows stool to pass.
4.) How the male asshole dialates to 4-5 inches to allow a child through.
5.) How the male sternum can allow a fetus to grow without crushing it, or breaking itself.
6.) How a fetus can grow in the midst of so much dirty stool.

Don't even bother, I already know that you can't. Honestly, don't you have better things to do with your life than write about Shit!Babies. How can a child that's been squeezed through the small intestine, pushed out of the large intestine and crapped from the anus, appeal to you?
Stop writing now and do the entire FanFiction.Net community a favour by leaving.

 

It's sounds very official and standoffish...perfect!

 

*laughes evilly*

Yes, soon this will drive away all of the undesirables from the fan fiction community.

*Goes into 'Gendo Ikari' pose*

 

Shezza would you mind if I use that on any MPREG stuff as well? I'm getting tired of seeing that shit everywhere.

- Ron Weasley is a good chess player. That does not mean he's an excellent tactician, strategist or anything that involves using his brain. He's a lazy sod who would much rather complain and grouse than do anything about it.

 

Heheh, I give you permission to use my list.

PS: I'll be using that as well.

 

Lol loved the list, to be honest I've always pondered the whole shit-baby thing as well. This whole topic has given me blinding and horrid mental images. Thank you for that.

This is my ban list of over-used names that are intended to be insults- Weasel and/or Weaselbe; Dumbassdoor; Dumbassdork; Moldy-shorts; Potty; any other name that is found in two out of three fanfics. Thank you.

 

Yes, I know this is a bump, but this thread isn't all that old anyway.

I used the standard review by Shezza88 containing my list ona story. Here is the reply:

Hi there!
Let´s try to be friendly!
Obviously you didn´t read my profile, cause I know men can´t become
pregnant in reality. I studied biology and genetics, so I am no utter
madwoman...so, please, show me the respect and read my whole reply to your
review, as I will explain how it is theoretically possible. You might
learn some biological facts.
First I want to say that I write m-preg cause I can and cause it´s fun
for me, and I am not the one who invented it. Was it not the Americans
who made films on mpreg first (like the one with Schwarzenegger..)
Okay, another thing, I don´t only write the m-preg, if you like slash
and dark stories, do me the favour and check out my other account,
Sodom, and read my stories there (none of them is m-preg), all except of
Slave of Darkness are mine. They are all M-rated slash(in lack of higher
rating) and dark. I have the Harry is bad and the Harry is a horcrux in
my stories (coming up in Ad Finem), so I don´t only write what you
dislike...after you looked at them be so fair and write to me again, if I
shall really leave the community. ;-D
Of course I can answer your questions on the biological possibilities
of m-preg, following your questions:
1) The child was conceived through a magical potion which changed the
physiology of the male recipient, thus it was not only a single
sperm-cell creating the child, but let me say two sperm-cells, which are making
up exactly the genetical code required for a human being´s body cells
(as someone who knows genetics I have to add, that two guys making a
daughter is really impossible, so mine will have a son naturally). And HP
is a magical story, you also don´t complain to Rowling when she changes
Hermione into catwoman or enables people to change into dogs, cats or
the likes...
2)The newly formed womb is in about the same place as in females, there
it is also situated behind the urinary bladder and pushes the
intestines out of the way during the growth. The womb is connected to the anus
instead in this case, only unimportant difference, just behind where the
prostate is.
3)answered by 2), the fetus is not growing in the rectum, the womb is
located beside it
4)the male anus and rectum can dilate wider than 4 or 5 inches. You
know of the sexual practice of bdsm which is called fisting? First fingers
are inserted, from one to finally all five to stretch, then you can
push the whole hand or fist into the anus (make a fist and look at its
size), there are some people who are that trained, that they can take even
two fists or people insert their whole arm into somebody´s bowels.
Believe it or not, but that is reality! But that is not even needed,
because a baby´s head is no wider than what you already said, and the bones
in the skull are still able to shift at that time, thus able to slide
out of a woman also
5) I don´t get that question really, the sternum is in the chest - a
female has it also, why should the baby be crushed or the bone broken?
6) Yep, same thing as answer 2), it is not in the middle of stool, it
is sealed off in it´s womb, and the rectum and anus are usually
stool-free and rather clean if you don´t have bowel movements at that moment,
and even women get an enema before giving birth cause they would press
stool out during the contractions, you know, that time when they say
"PUSH" in the films...

Alltogether, I am very well thinking everything through in a logical
way and don´t write random crap. I can understand if m-preg just doesn´t
rock your boat, as everybody has their own taste in what they like or
not like to read. It´s no insult to me. I offered you other stories of
mine to read, if you also dislike them you can give me a pm to tell me
I´m a crap writer.
But if you look at the m-preg review number you might realise that more
people like m-pregs than the dark slash I am writing also. Still I
write both.
So, please, would you do me the favour and look at everything before
you take the time to write to me? If you like dark slash we could even
become kind of friends in interest...
Gomorrha


A short amount of time later, (without any reply from myself), she took it upon herself to write more:

Oh, just to make it clear, the two sperm cells are from Voldemort and
Draco and not both from Voldie! And Draco´s sperm cells are obviously in
his testicles and it was taken from there or if you choose the magic
created an appropriate egg the same time it made a womb. I didn´t go into
detail there, so you can choose.
One thing more, I can´t understand why you obviously flame any m-preg
you see, but write such, let me say, unique, plot yourself. What is the
problem? This site is for everybody not only for you.
Flamers for fun should leave the community if you want to know my
opinion. In my believe this site is wonderful because everybody can post the
crap they wrote, no matter if their story is good or interesting for
many. I don´t discriminate and expect the same from others.
If you have constructive criticism to forward,it is always welcome, I
am also ready to explain what you don´t understand in my story.
Honestly, I expect an apology for the useless flame you sent me. If you
are not man enough, then maybe you are just a boy, don´t let me guess
your age! And on top of that, something is lacking in your upbringing if
you don´t know that a male doesn´t treat a female like you do!
If you could explain to me what exactly is your psychological
background to reacting so violent to mpreg stories, I would be very happy.
I have several thousand readers on that mpreg story and if you hate
mpregs you are free to divert your attention to plots you like.
I hate a lot of plot-ideas also, like Harry has suddenly a brother, a
twin or any nonsense OC(that would also include your plot somehow), or
him being any very strange creature over night, or when there are
suddenly female OCs who have to decide if Harry or Draco get to bed them. All
in all, Harry is not even my fav character, so I don´t even prefer to
read stories with him.
Did you ever hear about tolerance? I know the US are not known for it,
but it exists out there. It is a character trait. The US would have
less problems in their own country and more money to spend on their
infrastructure and social net if they would be more tolerant and less
selfish.
I am a very tolerant person, and really can´t see, why you just flame
for fun. I am sure you didn´t even read my story. And it is not your
choice who is in the community or not, or we can do a public voting if
flamers or mpreg writers are less wanted in there. Guess who will be voted
out.
You make one grave mistake, what you do others can be done to you
also...
So, an apology is in order, my boy, as I could very well answer the
questions you asked about mpreg!
Gomorrha
p.s.: you know what I think right now? you are one of those males who
pretend to be so male, but in fact want to be the little slave of a
dominatrix. you know, you can do that through internet, I can show you your
place, or I can link you to others, male or female, gay or straight,
who can give you what you need! that is no joke or insult!

After going from friendly to nasty, she wrote even more in another PM, still without any reply from me:

Yup, last message to you. Forget about my other stories, as now I read
in the middle of your profile that you recently despise slash and I
write slash in all my stories.
Btw I am not a teen and do not wank to my stories...
Maybe there are some who are wanking to het stories?
Hehehehe!
Good bye then, Amerision.
Nice to talk to you and I definitely wasted lots of time in writing to
you...which pains me much more than the time I used on writing an mpreg
which is loved by so many readers.

And yep, you guessed it! She writes even more in another PM STILL without any reply from me:

Another thing, flaming is considered by other sites something for which
your account can be closed:
An example from
Flaming of members, authors, moderators, or administrators is
forbidden. "Flaming" is defined as an attack on another person or their work.
Please be aware that there is a difference between constructive criticism
and flaming. If you are not certain of the difference, contact a
moderator before posting.
Violations of Terms of Use may result in, although are not limited to:
removal of stories from the archive; loss of membership; loss of
ability to post reviews; and being banned from the site.
Writing mpregs is against no rules on any sites...
Very strange...
Gomorrha


I'm considering replying but I honestly have no idea how to respond.

Any ideas?

 

Flame her ass off!!!! What a stupid little cunt.....
Basically you can read over all her PM's and in the answer logically destroy her explanations and claims.

 

Don't be too rude, lest she lodges a complaint, and the removal of your stories would be a sad day for us all.
I'd say that you ignore her....soon she'll forget about it. If there's a next time, maybe do it with an annoymous review.

I have to add, that two guys making a daughter is really impossible, so mine will have a son naturally)

Um...two guys making any sort of kid is really impossible. I'm disturbed and amazed...mainly disturbed though...that she seems to have really thought about it....very, very disturbed indeed...........

 

Er. Well, if we were to be most technical--it is theoretically possible to create a "daughter" from two semen samples. If both samples contained X sex-chromosones, then technically it's possible. (Females are paired XX, and males are XY.)

I remember watching a documentary on this kind of stuff, couple of years back in Biology. Scientists have actually tried to take two semen samples and create a hybrid offspring through genetical engineering. But apparently nature just doesn't accept it. While technically everything should have gone smoothly, there were birth defects and what-not on the rats that they tested on. It was.. an interesting lesson that day, to say the least.

Anyway, kinda off-topic I know. Bah.

To Amerison: it's very apparent from her multi-PMs that she, though she would never admit it, is very much hurt by your "flame"--and is quite troubled by it. My advice would be to lay low, like Shezza says, else she reports abuse due to her distress.

 

Every sperm and every egg can simply be considered a blueprint, if you will; XY-XY does not work in creating life because the woman contains something very essential to the creation of life - the mitochondrial genome. Ethics aside, if you used the MG, and two XYs, you'd have a chance of producing life - with XX, XY and YY (YY won't produce life) being the outcomes. There has to be a donation of the essential life-creating parts before it could take place but....

Those slash-writers are just ignoring that - they don't realise X and Y are more than chromosomes that determine gender; in reality, there are quite a few cases of people - mostly males - that have XXY, or XXYY or XXXY, which is Klinefelter Syndrome. In reality, its the women's two X chromosomes that help determine a lot of things.

So simply put, without the aid of a woman, there won't be a child. And if slash-writers start using women, I guessed they'd be admitting the whole process is stupid. There's no magic there.

 

Wow, this thread has deviated more than most...

 

Leave it to Shezza to bring up something that's been dealt with time and time again and make a fifty-page post on it .

 

i hate to say rhis, but... though mpreg is IMPOSSIBLE (note that gommorah didn't go into the detail in the production of the egg and uterus+connecting organs), scientists recently announced that gay couples (only males) could theoretically produce bioligical children of the test-tube kind.

I'll look for the article.

NOTE: This wasn't intended to flame-bait, or restart a bitch-fest. That is all.

 

I basically eluded to that in my previous post. Women are still apart of the test-tube process, nonetheless.

 

They have actually managed to make a baby mouse out of 2 egg cells...the same process for some reason wouldn't work in humans as well apparently.

And although 2 sperm cells combining could contain all the genetic material needed for life, it would still not grow into an embryo, as it does not have the structure that is needed that an egg cell has. So lesbian couples may be able to have children in the future, but not gays...

Of course, any children produced by 2 egg cells will be girls (due to the XX chromosone), so this article I read was suggesting that in the not so distant future all humans on Earth would be women as they will have started just making humans out of 2 egg cells (as the y chromosone is deteriorating and so males are more likely to develop genetic disorders) so all children would be girls, and all of their children would be girls and so on...

Wow, that really did wonder off the topic...I better write a Potter Law too...hmm...can't remember if this one has already been done but:

- Harry Potter is not a phoenix animagus.
-Veritaserum is like alcohol: the solution to, and cause of, all of life's problems. (Not really sure if that's a proper Potter Law, but it's fun).

 

-Animagus forms are determined by the users personality, not by the authors choice. So thusly Harry will NEVER be a Phoenix Animagus as he represents none of the personality quirks that Phoenixes have. The only thing he has is loyalty to a fault, but dogs also have that characteristic, among other animals.

 

-Harry Potter shall under no circumstances use any of the following names when refering to the Dark Lord Voldemort: Voldie-Shorts, Moldie-Shorts,Tommy-boy*(see below), Voldie-Woldy, Moldy Woldy, Dark Thing(y),sans ad infinitum.

In fact no conjugation, rhyme, or play on the tittle Lord Voldemort may be used at any time, no matter the reason.(Birth of a Name is exempt from this law)

Acceptable terms Harry may use: Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord, Riddle, or any conjugation within reason of the word 'Tom'

The Riddle Clause:
Harry may in fact refer to Voldemort as "Tommy-boy" if Harry is written as Insane!Harry, or is a transvestite.



-Luna Lovegood, Loves VERY Good. Any smut involving her likeness must be excessively kinky by default. Always!

 

- Harry may not be a transvestite.