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Oneshot Reluctant Fangirling and Other Seductions by Madrigal-in-training - T -Naruto

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Redhawk, Feb 10, 2016.

  1. Redhawk

    Redhawk First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2015
    Messages:
    24
    Title: Reluctant Fangirling and Other Seductions
    Author: Madrigal-in-training
    Rating: T
    Genre: Romance/Humor
    Words: 3 825
    Pairings: Naruko/Shisui
    Status: Oneshot
    Published: Jan 30, 2016

    Summary: It was probably the strangest proposition he'd ever received. "I'm really sorry about this, but I've decided to become your fangirl." "My fangirl?" "Yes, and I think it's only fair to warn you beforehand." fem!Naruto, no Uchiha Massacre, Shisui x Naruko

    Link

    A oneshot I found recently. It's not spectacular, and while the summary isn't the most promising, it's original and something I had not seen before. Now, I'll get into the story. In this AU, Naruto's parents survive and there is no Uchiha massacre. The premise is Naruko pretends to have a crush on Shisui so her friends Ino and Sakura don't think she has a secret crush on Sasuke.

    There isn't any bashing which is nice, and the author doesn't rush into the romance bit. It starts when Naruko is in the Academy, and we see her growing up and interacting with Shisui, Ino and her father. Naruko and Shisui 's interactions are funny, as is their deadpan snarking. Madrigal portrays Ino as a fangirl, but also as a good friend to Naruko. On the other hand, the dialogue is awkward at times, and when describing a character's emotions, Madrigal uses complex words when none are needed, and it's not just a one time thing. For example, when Shisui hears Naruko say she'll be his fangirl, he asks "My fangirl?" It is obvious he is confused, but Madrigal puts on the end "Shisui was understandably confused." Also the ending feels a bit too contrived, and could have been played out more naturally.

    Overall, I'd give it a 3/5, but it would've been higher if not for the ending.
     
  2. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2013
    Messages:
    3,031
    What does any of this have to do with Harry Potter?

    Fanfiction that isn't Harry Potter, that you want to put up for review goes into the Other Fandoms subforum.
     
  3. Redhawk

    Redhawk First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2015
    Messages:
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    Sorry. Do I make a new one in that subforum or will a moderator move this?
     
  4. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2013
    Messages:
    3,031
    The latter will happen, you're just gonna have to wait for a bit until they notice the thread.
     
  5. Invictus

    Invictus Master of Death

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2013
    Messages:
    3,849
    Location:
    Cidade Maravilhosa
    Regardless of this being in the wrong place, it's pretty funny, if silly, and the humour isn't anything special, but I like it. It uses a very different universe, which makes thing interesting. It does what it sets out to do quite well, but is by nothing really great, and the ending is shit and ruins the mood but eeeh. A 3.5 up to 4 because it made me laugh a few times.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2016
  6. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,549
    Location:
    Department of Post-Mortem Communications
    High Score:
    2,101
    It's fun and charming. I'm a fan of Minato, Kushina and Shisui being alive, and the whole idea was adorable.

    4/5, would ship Naruko/Shisui again.
     
  7. Silly

    Silly Third Year

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2015
    Messages:
    82
    High Score:
    0
    The biggest problem that I have with this story is that it was too short, which is honestly not a bad thing. I finished it super quickly and was left wanting a lot more.

    The scenes were reasonably well written and interesting, the idea certainly has never been done before, and the story overall is pretty cute. I think the author could probably have found room for maybe two or three more scenes, maybe an extra chapter or two, but this is probably not an idea that would sustain many chapters worth of words.

    As it is currently though, the story is already enjoyable, though nothing incredibly special. A low 4/5 for me.
     
  8. Mercenary

    Mercenary Snake Eater

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,894
    Location:
    420blazitville
    It's cute. I would like to have seen more though.

    Generally dont like these types of fics, but a nice slice of life is good.
     
  9. eden

    eden First Year

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2015
    Messages:
    40
    It's a Slice of Life Fic set in an ideal universe, and obviously its sole intent is being a WAFF Fic. In this, it succeeded. I like snapshots format in fics when the author is competent enough not to botch it. The idea is original. The characterizations are good. (Most importantly, Naruko didn't feel like a self-insert sue.) Even better that Minato and Kushina are alive, and the brief looks we got into Naruto's family life.

    And I actually like the ending. Wasn't that much of a surprise, as from this sort of style, it's rarer when the author doesn't aim for a full circle. (Would have loved a few additional scenes or an extra chapter, but can't say I'm too sad there isn't one. This author in particular does not do well with multi-chapter fics. If she doesn't outright abandon them, then she has ridiculously slow update rates, or loses the fic steam and it becomes easy to lose interest.)

    On the whole, it really is sweet and charming, and made me like this unusual pairing. Comfort reading. So it gets a 4/5 from me.