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WIP Rise of the Wizards By Tuefel1987 - T

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by FreakLord, Apr 18, 2011.

  1. FreakLord

    FreakLord Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Title: Rise of the Wizards
    Author: Tuefel1987
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Suspense
    DLP Category: Independent Harry
    Pairing: Harry/Daphne (but not much)
    Status: Work in Progress
    Summary: For Centuries they have hidden in the shadows, passing into legend and myth, watching ... waiting ... till one day, The Chosen One's eyes were opened ... Thus began the Rise of the Wizards AU after fifth year, featuring a Darkish and manipulative Harry
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6254783/1/Rise_of_the_Wizards

    Independent Harry done in the right way. It doesn't contains all the excessive bashing and other things from normal independent harry cliches.

    I rate it 5/5. (But that's my opinion)

    (If you don't like the first chapter, try to grit your teeth and read from second)

    PS: I swear I searched the forum but hadn't found any link to this story. So, here it is.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2011
  2. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    From the story:

    Well, doesn't that instantly make me afraid. Will have a look now -- if Simple Plan and Ipods pops up, I'm out.

    Yes, in which case it's still retarded. There are literally no non-fail ways out of this. Either you change the time for useless shit like having your current favourite band and gadget in it, or you don't actually use it, which makes the entire change even more useless. That's the reason this works so well as a first impression of the author.



    Edit:

    Chapter 2 is the Shopping Trip (TM). Should I try the third? (I predict a rant at Dumbledore).


    Edit2:

    Why would you do that to me, bro :(
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2011
  3. FreakLord

    FreakLord Professor DLP Supporter

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    I don't think he used 2002-2003 anywhere in the story. So, no need to worry :)
     
  4. Tenages

    Tenages Order Member DLP Supporter

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    No. Just no.

    To be clear, this is boring, derivative crap. And I don't feel generous today

    1/5
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2011
  5. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

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    The kid writing it is probably young enough that he didn't know if electricity was invented yet in the 90s and wanted to avoid anachronisms :p
     
  6. Hw597

    Hw597 Seventh Year

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    London
    I have just started to read this. I actually took the authors advice and tried to read his/her connected one-shot first.
    That was a mistake, the writing was terrible. I must have read the worlds longest sentance. I can only hope that the author has improved remarkably before starting this.

    ---------- Post automerged at 11:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:46 PM ----------

    okay I have made it 6 paragraphs in and am just about ready to give up on this. Let's go through a blow by blow account of what was wrong:

    well appointed? - it's his ancestral home, who would have appointed it to him. Even if there are other family members in this fic, appointed is just a poor word choice. Nobody appoints there son a bedroom; you give them one.

    I read the phrase former friend and gave a quiet sigh. I'm sensing pointless character bashing in the near future.

    I honestly spent a second of confusion before realising that he was describing a second location that the confrontation had happened in.

    At least one good thing has come from this. I have discovered I might be psychic.

    Dumbledore bashing. Children cooking up revolutionary goverment policy.

    Just no!

    Six paragraphs in; my hopes are not high.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2011
  7. Anarchy

    Anarchy Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

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    This story is an example of why the HP/DG community is one of the worst.
     
  8. 13thadaption

    13thadaption Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    well-appointed:
    adj
    (well appointed when postpositive)
    well equipped or furnished; properly supplied


    Sorry, I couldn't not point that out.
     
  9. Hw597

    Hw597 Seventh Year

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    Actually it should be well-appointed, as he used the adjective before the noun (study). At the moment the sentence is describing a study appointed to him well.

    Though hands up, I actually forgot the adjective until your post. I am willing to withdraw the complaint and replace it with a thousand other new ones. My suggestion to anyone reading this. Give up now and check out Uncle Stojill's new fic. I sense awesome and win coming from the work
     
  10. EthyleneGlycol

    EthyleneGlycol Second Year

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    While technically correct, I can't shake the feeling that the author meant to use the phrase, "well apportioned."
     
  11. Lady Emerald

    Lady Emerald Squib

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    I've been reading this fic since, the beginning, and its pretty good.
    3.5/5 in my opinion for not so excessive bashing, and character development. I wish there was some more romance, but this fic is much better than other Daphne/Harry pairings out there.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2011
  12. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Wat.

    Are we reading the same story? My story starts at 1.5/5 for heaps fail clichés if I'm being generous, and towards the end it's improved to something not quite average.

    The second to last chapter is exemplary: I skimmed the Quidditch Tryouts taken from Canon, skipped the entire CoS scene (should have been dealt with in some hundred words because it's boring as hell). That's the first half of the chapter. Then we get more details of the Basilisk (I still don't care), more details of Slytherin's life (which isn't relevant to anything I can see), and then we're in the last third.

    The date with Daphne is nice enough, and then the chapter's over. The current thread rating expresses my feelings adequately.
     
  13. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I remember now why we had the Intro sub-forum.

    Fic is poorly done and boring; I got through the first two chapters and realized I had better things to do.

    1/5
     
  14. Lady Emerald

    Lady Emerald Squib

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    I agree with you for most of it. The author had Salazar info, but I wasn't lured into reading it as nothing is being done.
    This fic is horribly cliched, and not much action
     
  15. Starwind

    Starwind Headmaster

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    Got pushed to the front of the 1st page of ff.net through update, so I read it.

    The last chapter I started out with, and the fact that Harry was nicknamed "Pup/Cub/Bambi" made me click x.
     
  16. Wizardmon0073

    Wizardmon0073 Second Year

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    Bambi thing was only prank of Remus, there was no such nickname in the past. Reaction of Harry to Cub heavily implied that Remus used it only in jest for the first time since childhood. And Harry never heard Sirius use Pup because Sirius never used it after his escape from Azkaban.

    I like relationships in this story, they seem to me like they are realistically portrayed with no soulmates or truelove crap. IMO, story seems well-written without any glaring errors (but English is not my first language, so no guarantees). There is no outrageous bashing and Harry acts more mature than in canon, which is always good. He also makes mistakes and he is definitely no Super!Harry.
     
  17. bombdiggity92

    bombdiggity92 Temporarily Banhammered

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    I like a few chapters of this story but i basically skimmed it all. I don't like how he makes the magic from the founder time so primitive I understand lost magic but the levitation spell come on thats just ridiculous. Some of this story is alright so 2/5.
     
  18. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    1/5. Normally I would give a story like this 2 stars, just for half decent spelling and grammar, but this story's unoriginality is just insulting.
     
  19. Carmine

    Carmine Unspeakable

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    It is painfully unoriginal, but I could just about skim it until the latest chapter (if simply to avoid exam revision.) HP/DG is becoming one of the worst pairings because of stories like this. Also, there's the Slytherin teaching Harry cliche (he may be doing it through the diary, but I believe that it is still a breach of Potter Law,) which is the main thing which made me unable to continue.
    2/5
     
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