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WIP Seasons of Change by MPRose - K+

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Goten Askil, Jul 22, 2019.

  1. Goten Askil

    Goten Askil Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2015
    Messages:
    294
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    France
    Title: Seasons of change
    Author: MPRose
    Rating: K+
    Genre: Friendship
    Status: WIP (Updated yesterday, previously in September 2018), currently at 27 chapters and ~135k words.
    Library Category: General
    Pairings: None so far (2nd year, guys)
    Summary: An attempt to go against a popular trope. What if, instead of becoming dark/grey and gaining more power that way, Harry had been a little more considerate? Begins with a small change in first year, and sticks close to the original, but sometimes small changes can add up to change the world.
    Link: FanFiction.Net

    Original divergence is when Harry wants to buy and send gifts for Christmas in first year, and talks to people to learn how to order by owl. Hermione misunderstands his relationship to the Dursleys and gives him a book to offer Dudley, which he does on a whim. It starts a correspondence and friendship between them. Most changes originate from that, some being far-fetched (like what happens with Sirius) and others more logical, but I liked that there is nothing that made me instantly hate it as a fix-fic. The real changes appear quite progressively with characters still being themselves, IMO, with the exception of Dudley (I'm of the opinion that any character developpment with him before the Dementors is exagerrated), and even if they notice things sooner than in canon, the end results aren't always the very best they could hope for.

    What really shines is the interactions between the characters: it's a fic about the trio as a whole and there are too few of those (the absence of romance, for now at least, helps in this regard), but the other characters are nicely explored too, most notably the little parts about Neville's family and Snape's progressive and reluctant change of opinion about "the troublesome trio".

    The author sometimes tries too hard to include elements of canon, like the Duelling club bit (and some descriptions are quoted nearly verbatim, even though they tend to skip what remains the same) and does use some annoying fanon (like notice-me-not, and magical cores are mentionned once or twice), but second year is starting to show some nice butterflies:

    It's currently approaching the end of second year, and both Ginny and Hagrid have been petrified, with Wormtail apparently taking Ginny's place to open the Chamber while Sirius is after him. Dumbledore has been suspended.

    Nothing stood out horribly to me, grammar-wise, but I tend not to notice those things, so I'll let others comment on that.

    All in all, it's an enjoyable timewaster with some nice ideas that probably lacks a little ambition.
    I give it a 3.5/5, rounded down (for now), but I can see it going up if the plot thickens.
     
  2. Tomster10010

    Tomster10010 Third Year

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2011
    Messages:
    108
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    I agree with most of what the OP says. 3/5
     
  3. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    7,534
    Location:
    The South
    I read the first 12 or so chapters and it's... nice? Cute? Completely devoid of tension?

    It's well written enough though it does tend to feel a bit dialogue heavy. The only content that really feels that original is the changes to Dudley's character, and as such those were some of the parts I was more interested in, but at the same time I don't buy the characterization.

    It's interesting in places but overall I found it boring and saw no reason to keep going.

    3/5 - almost recommended but not quite.
     
  4. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    6,008
    Instant point loss for me any time someone rips entire sections from the books. Fanfic is meant to be your own take on something. Even if JK did it better than you think you could, you owe it to the reader of your story to atleast try.

    Anything that tries to reconcile with the Dursleys is really not all that great in my book. As a character study in a what if scenario this works okay, but its not really a story, is it?

    I gave up half way through because I really just couldn't get into it. Some people may like this, but I do not.

    2/5 because they tried.

    Need a few more ratings and reviews on this before it can be sorted properly. Does someone else feel like giving this a look and a review.
     
  5. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    6,008
    For the love of fuck. Can someone do this, so I can sort this story. The point isn't for me to sort base on my opinion but rather your opinion.
     
  6. Wynter

    Wynter Order Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2012
    Messages:
    887
    Summary alone was an instant black flag for me and probably was for most. Absolutely no hook to it at all.

    And that continues throughout the first chapter as well. It has a cute, sorta squinty heart warming feel at the start of it. Yet has absolutely no narrative that invests you in the story. Read eight chapters through and eventually just started skimming waiting for something interesting to come along.

    It didn't.

    The writings decent, and that's it's only saving grace. No hook eight chapters in, dialogue is heavy yet uninspiring and it falls into that problem of making characters far too mature for their age which almost everyone makes, but it's rampant in this fic.

    2/5

    (If more's needed to form an opinion I'll slog through the rest.)
     
  7. Archinist

    Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    485
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Holy Terra
    It was a bit of a chore to get past the first chapter. An incredibly bland opening (please excuse my dickish sounding mannerism)

    You can just tell there wasn't a whole lot of effort put into it (the first chapter, line, paragraph, etc., should always be the writer's best).

    This is the opening line:

    This was bland, confusing, and only explains itself when you read further.

    Ultimately, it's just a feel-good fic. Aside from the disappointing prologue (I sound like a bit of a dick right now sorry), there's nothing bad of note that I can think of with this. Nothing good either.

    If you feel like reading something to feel better, or there isn't anything else to read, sure.

    I'm going to rate this a 2.5/5, and very tentatively bump it up to 3/5. Ultimately belongs in Almost Recommended. I can't say it's bad but I can't say it's good either. A little towards the bad side though.
     
  8. reputlet

    reputlet Squib

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2009
    Messages:
    10
    My review contains minor spoilers for the first chapter.

    I decided to give the story a try, my initial impression from reading the first few paragraphs already has me a bit skeptical about finishing the story. The fact neither ron or percy (who lived in a wizarding family of 9) knew how to owl order or even had a faint idea on how it worked has me baffled.


    Opinions on the Writing:
    I've read / skimmed through most of the story and you can tell the newer chapters are less polished. The main thing appears to be punctuation. but rather than a lack of it you find it in excess. an extreme example is 4 commas in a sentence that has 12 words.


    Opinions on the plot:
    my opinion on the plot / story line is similar to everyone else, its primarily a "feel good story". The pacing is fine but I'm a bit worried about the 3rd year.

    I don't see myself reading any future updates (until its finished) and With current story progression I wouldn't be surprised if the story hit 300k words by the time its completed. With that being said its taken the author almost 6 years to get to 3rd year.

    2.5/5, the writing is passable and if you are into feel good stories you might enjoy this one.
     
  9. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 28
    Words: 141,419
    Updated: 2020-04-30 22:22:51 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: 9 months ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  10. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 28
    Words: 142,135
    Updated: 2020-05-02 17:52:19 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: 2 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  11. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 29
    Words: 148,598
    Updated: 2020-06-02 01:20:41 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: about 1 month ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  12. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 30
    Words: 155,532
    Updated: 2020-06-09 00:33:52 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: 7 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  13. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 31
    Words: 160,791
    Updated: 2020-06-30 00:53:37 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: 21 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  14. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 32
    Words: 166,314
    Updated: 2020-07-01 23:51:23 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: 2 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  15. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 33
    Words: 173,130
    Updated: 2020-07-22 13:37:04 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: 21 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  16. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 34
    Words: 180,400
    Updated: 2020-07-30 18:16:31 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: 8 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  17. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 35
    Words: 186,228
    Updated: 2020-08-15 17:53:18 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: 16 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  18. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 36
    Words: 192,615
    Updated: 2020-08-21 17:03:10 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: 6 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  19. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 37
    Words: 198,646
    Updated: 2020-08-31 11:10:47 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: 10 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  20. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,125
    Seasons of change has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 38
    Words: 204,705
    Updated: 2020-09-04 20:38:53 UTC
    Published: 2013-12-29 08:32:23 UTC
    Previously updated: 4 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
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