1. Hey Guest, welcome back to DLP

    As you can see, we've changed our look. We've migrated from vBulletin to the Xenforo forum system. There may be issues or missing functionality, if you find anything or have feedback, please check out the new Xenforo Migration Feedback forum.

    Our dark ("Dark Lord Potter") theme is under heavy development. We also have a light ("Light Lord Potter") theme for those happier with a light background and darker text.

    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Please be courteous to staff and post NEW threads for NEW Issues, instead of posting them in threads that are not related to said issue.

[Oneshot] Slytherin Career Day by CambAngst - M -

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Newcomb, May 30, 2015.

  1. Newcomb

    Newcomb Headmaster

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2013
    Messages:
    1,000
    Location:
    The Evergreen State
    Title: Slytherin Career Day
    Author: CambAngst
    Rating: M
    Genre: Humor
    DLP-Category: Humor
    Chapters: 1
    Words: 4,299
    Updated: 10/10/12
    Published: 10/10/12
    Pairing: None
    Status: Complete
    Summary:
    The students of Slytherin House were born with everything: wealth, prestige and pure wizarding blood. Now it's Severus Snape's job to help them find the one thing they don't have: careers.
    Link: http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewstory2.php?chapterid=482496&i=1

    A pretty funny one-shot. A Slytherin twist on the "Career Counseling" scene we see between McGonagall and Harry in OotP, with Snape doing the same thing for Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, Draco, Daphne, and Zabini.

    It kind of speaks for itself. Writing is sharp enough for the jokes to work, and some of the bits are pretty damn funny. (I think I liked Crabbe's the best. Zabini had some great lines but he also had a couple that really fell flat for me.) Snape's little comments and asides and the notes he writes in his book are pretty great.

    It's kind of an easy joke, but at 4K words it's not a huge time investment and there are some great lines.

    Here's an example of the fic's style:

    This is a Snape I can get behind.

    The end was kind of "meh," and some of the jokes don't really work, but overall...

    4/5
     
  2. Download

    Download Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2014
    Messages:
    1,490
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    “Do you remember your first baby magic? When I was four, I bewitched the fire in the living room and made it come to life. It attacked our owl, Dad’s favorite chair and my sister.”

    Cold fingers of realization crept up Severus’s spine.

    “Mr. Crabbe, you don’t have a sister.”

    The smile quickly faded from Crabbe’s face.

    “You’re not, uh, writing this down, are you, Professor?”

    This is gold.

    Also:

    Draco the hair stylist

    Easy 4/5 from me.
     
  3. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    2,870
    Location:
    Australia.
    Some decent humour in here. Some bits, especially the Blaise bit, were pretty mediocre, but it is well written and the Draco bit amused me. I wouldn't give it a 4/5 generally, but it is better than a 3/5, so that's what it gets.
     
  4. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2011
    Messages:
    142
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    High Score:
    3,164
    I'm drunk. This was pretty funny. 4/5.
     
  5. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros.

    Joined:
    May 27, 2010
    Messages:
    566
    Location:
    Philippines
    I'm reading this as I'm just waking up, and people who've known me personally will testify under oath that I'm not in the best of moods during that period of time.

    Still, it had my genuinely laughing out loud at some scenes and thoroughly entertained during the length of it.

    4/5, easily.
     
  6. NuScorpii

    NuScorpii Professor

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
    Messages:
    434
    This was quite amusing, especially Crabbe. The later ones mostly fell flat, but overall it was a good read.

    I found this the most amusing part of the entire fic:

    “Put your quill and parchment away, Mr. Crabbe. Now, perhaps you could tell me which of your school lessons interest you the most.”


    Crabbe sat for a long moment, working the answer out in his head.


    “Potions.”

    3.5/5 rounded up.
     
  7. esran

    esran Professor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2013
    Messages:
    456
    Was genuinely funny, and did well for what it was. The ending was dumb, and the first was by far the best. Overall 4/5, well worth a read but nothing spectacular.
     
  8. Zeelthor

    Zeelthor Scissor Me Timbers

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2008
    Messages:
    3,193
    4/5. I'm sleep deprived to hell, but this was funny. The only problem, I guess, that it was just isolated scenes and it didn't really build.
     
  9. Download

    Download Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2014
    Messages:
    1,490
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    Can you build in a story under 5k words?
     
  10. Stan

    Stan Order Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Messages:
    819
    It's okay, I suppose. There are a few funny lines here and there, but the ending was very meh.

    Since when did Snape hate the Malfoys?

    Crabbe and Goyle's character voices are slightly off. They sound more articulate than their canon selves.

    Snape didn't use the world "dunderhead" even once. I admit I'm slightly dissapointed.

    3/5.
     
  11. Zeelthor

    Zeelthor Scissor Me Timbers

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2008
    Messages:
    3,193
    Of course. Just keep it getting more WTF until Snape breaks.
     
  12. TMD

    TMD Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    352
    Location:
    London
    For what it was, I iked it. Snape's note for Zabini made me laugh. Some bits weren't as strong (Pansy, Goyle) because while you can stretch the reality of the other characters for comedy, some sections seemed different purely for comedies sake.

    3.5/5.
     
  13. Brukel

    Brukel Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2012
    Messages:
    354
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Thought it was pretty good myself. Zabini and Daphne were the best I think, Draco's would have been good but the hair joke is starting to get a bit long in the tooth at this point I think.

    4/5
     
  14. Hiraelle

    Hiraelle Third Year

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2015
    Messages:
    99
    I liked it. It had me laugh out loud a few times, and that is not so frequent. The end is kind of meh, but that's not very important for a fic like that.

    I'll give this 4/5. Not a masterpiece, but it's good.
     
  15. Hachi

    Hachi Death Eater

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2010
    Messages:
    927
    Location:
    In the Zone
    Eh, it was decent. Made me chuckle a few times. Some of the jokes fell a bit flat, but overall the comedy was quite good.

    3.5/5, rounded to 4/5.
     
  16. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Messages:
    1,467
    Location:
    Germany occupied Greece
    High Score:
    4,495
    Think a 3/5 is pretty generous. Got a chuckle, but I can't justify anything higher.
     
  17. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    5,052
    Location:
    Hbg., Germany
    It didn't make me laugh, it made me sad :(

    This cuts my heart, it really does. No love < / 3

    So either this particular premise can't get me, or I'm being true to form. Either way, I can only give this a Useless/5. Here's to the next ten years of ignoring humour stories (I shouldn't have tried).
     
  18. Atram Noctem

    Atram Noctem High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2015
    Messages:
    525
    This is pretty amusing, but all laughs aside... is there really any actual basis for the fandom assertion that all Slytherins/Pure-Bloods are filthy rich and live in huge mansions? The Malfoys, Blacks and Potters are old money, but the Weasleys and the Gaunts were piss poor, and other than them I don't recall any description of others being especially rich and spoiled. And I don't think that rich, spoiled men usually don't become terrorists.
     
  19. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    1,834
    Location:
    New Hampshire
    Well Mrs. Zabini did marry wealthy men and it was hinted that she offed them. My interpretation of Slytherin was that those who led in that house either had money, where pure blood and or had good connections. Which is what the sorting hat basically said about the house in book 1. That being said I'm sure the other houses where led by the students who embodied their house traditions.
    This was a great story 5/5 for humor and pretty good writing. It's a shame this was only a oneshot.
     
  20. Anarchy

    Anarchy Prisoner DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2009
    Messages:
    2,885
    Location:
    NJ
    I'd give it a 3/5 because it was pretty boring for such a short one-shot.
     
Loading...
Similar Threads
  1. Xiph0
    Replies:
    33
    Views:
    17,949
  2. carvell
    Replies:
    39
    Views:
    13,788
  3. ip82
    Replies:
    17
    Views:
    8,278