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Some Tips For A Hp Fanfiction?

Discussion in 'Challenges' started by 0jordinio0, Jun 10, 2013.

  1. 0jordinio0

    0jordinio0 Seventh Year

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    Lately, I've begun to want to expand on my writing style. As it stands, I'm more of an anime writer.

    So, I was hoping some of the more experienced writers/readers on this site could give me a few pointers on how I should go about writing proper Harry Potter Fanfiction.

    Over the past few hours, I've started to build up my very own and hopefully somewhat non-cliche'd Hp plot.

    Generally, it's a bit of Harry going in the opposite direction of Jk's Harry. Abused children very rarely if ever grow into the kind, chivalrous type that Harry supposedly is.

    This Harry is going to be a bit hardened from a young age due to his shitty life. In canon, Harry would eventually be caught during 'Harry Hunting' at some points and given a kick-in by Dudley and his gang. But, due to some form of mixture of pride, bullheadedness and pettiness. Harry is going to be thinking along the thoughts of, ' I'm going to get caught anyway, and given a kick-in, I may aswell make sure they don't come out of this unscathed.' - So, I'm thinking he basically grows up the majority of his childhood being alone with no friends and un-loved, his back up against the wall and trying to come out on top even though he is at a rather large disadvantage with his bullies.

    By the time he heads for Hogwarts, he's not going to be a pleasant little boy. He's only going to be looking out for 'numero uno', because that's the way it's always been for him.

    Anyway, the general plot for first year is that he knows that the strongest is always the top dog. So to be the top dog, he has to be the strongest and therefor at a wizard school know the strongest and nastiest spells.

    I'm not talking along the lines of him being some prodigy and being the top of every class. I'm talking about him scouring the library and looking up spells that he can use to his benefit and generally dismissing his classes until something interesting catches his eye. Turning a matchstick into a needle would be useless to him, in his state of though after all.

    The main plot device for first year though, is that he comes across the book of 'The Half Blood Prince'. In canon, there is actually very few spells in it so I'm thinking I'll expand on it to include quite a few nasty spells that I believe a teenage Snape would teach or create in order to get one over on the Marauders.

    Anyway, there isn't going to be any of that 'Most Ancient and Noble' house crap. The purebloods like the Malfoys and the like are Generally just old names with alot of money. So none of that crap where Harry becomes head of house Black and Potter and suddenly controls a majority vote share on the wizengamot.

    So if, I do decide for Harry to inherit the vault for the house of Black, then he is only going to be inheriting money and possibly some rather expensive or rare possessions. Like say for instance, a charmed dagger seeped in a strong poison or a book on rather powerful dark arts spells.

    But, that's basically the most I'd allow him to inherit. After all, Voldemort didn't need any of these advantages to get so powerful so why should Harry? It would come off as a cop out to me.

    One thing I've saw over some serious fanfictions is that in first year, they can't really cast many spells for some of their own specific reasons. Such as their magical cores being to low on magic power and the like.

    But, I've always seen Harry as different. Like his magic reserves are much larger than average magic users and stronger aswell. It's just the only reason I can fathom why canon Harry could even pose a remote challenge to Voldemort. Insane luck or not.

    Anyway, some tips would appreciated so that I don't fall into the traps of a cliche'd Hp writer.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
  2. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I'm must gonna go through and comment on each of your points.

    Keep in mind that (1) I am not much of a writer, (2) the only long fanfic I've started writing I haven't posted yet, and (3) ... yeah, it's my opinion and it's worth what you paid for it -- nothing.

    & some re-emphasis to check out Potter law.

    So... basically your story, in a nutshell, is planned to be something along the lines of:

    Harry gets caught & beat up a lot more by Dudley and his gang as a child. This will shift Harry's character into more of a "look out for number one" mentality somehow, and when he gets to Hogwarts he will thinking along the lines of "I've got to get strong so that no one can bully me. I need to be at, or near, the top."

    The plot will involve the HBP book. Harry will acquire it early and learn the spells in it.

    ...but that's not really a fantastic plot unless you're condensing First Year by a lot.

    Am I missing anything? Because so far I'm not hooked. What else happens? How does Harry's character continue to grow? Is the Stone still a thing in this AU or not?
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
  3. 0jordinio0

    0jordinio0 Seventh Year

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    One of my favorite renditions of Harry ever done, was by Shezza during his/her(?) Denarian series.

    A sarcastic and selfish little shit that cares only about himself and Meciel. Eventually, he will end up basically a 'BAMF', but that's only because Voldemort isn't weak in any shape or form. The Voldemort in my head can take on armies of wizards and lay waste to them. And the likes of his inner circle like Bellatrix are far above the average wizard in power, and battle skill.

    He's not looking to make friends or secretly be loved. He's had very little interaction with others because of the Dursleys and so will not be willing to trust anybody. Eventually, I do plan for him to mellow out a bit and for a few people to get under his defenses and eventually become people he cares about. Sirius for example.

    He's not going to like Hermione, Draco or Neville very much at all. Draco because he reminds him of Dudley, Neville because like Harry he's a bully victim but unlike Harry he's to afraid to do anything about it. And Hermione with her bossy-know it all attitude will get under his skin very easily.

    The HBP book. Most of it will still be about potions, but Harry wont really be interested in them that much. Mostly the spells that can be used to his advantage.

    I'm not really gonna use 'magic reserves'. I think I'll just stick with a basic, 'Harry has alot more magic to work with than the average magic user, and it's also quite a bit stronger aswell.' - Basic and straight to the point usually works best in my own opinion.

    Like I said, plot wise I'm still building it up. But, for his first year the stone will still play a major role. But more in the lines, that Harry wants it for himself. He has no idea how to use it, but the chance for immortality and basically an unlimited source of gold would draw him in.

    Basically, in a nutshell. This Harry is at a crossroads. He could go either way, down a dark path or the light path. He's not going to be some guy with a strength of will that cannot be matched. Voldemort's attempts to sway Harry to his side will float around Harry's head alot. Because, the offer to basically become Voldemort's second in command and get anything he wanted? Do anything he wanted? That will appeal to his mindset.

    But then, how can he trust Voldemort and not expect him to stab Harry in the back the first chance he gets? And if he could manage to kill Voldemort, he'd basically be hailed as near enough a messiah. He'd practically be able to get anything he wanted that way aswell.

    Canon will still play a major role, but will be played out in a variety of different ways. But, this story would basically be Harry's journey from a weak abused child, all the way to either the Wizarding worlds greatest hero, or one of it's darkest evils.

    At this point, even I'm not entirely sure which path he could take. Because it would be so easy for him to slip onto either path.

    Although, I'm a good 60-70% certain on what path he should take. But that could change in time as I get further into the plot.
     
  4. Photon

    Photon Order Member

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    I think that Harry avoiding all people (it seems to shape in this direction) may be not the best idea. This Harry would probably exploit (or at least try to use) his status as BWL. And "scouring the library" part suggest involving Hermione - maybe using her as library search engine. It have potential for either profiting from fact that she have absolutely no friends and everybody seems to see someone interested in books as weird one - or maybe some friendship.
     
  5. Clerith

    Clerith Ahegao Emperor ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Fuck no. This is a terrible idea. Darker and power-hungry Harry is going to seek out and research powerful and unusual spells on his fucking own. In Harry's place, would you really try to "recruit" an abrasive, know-it-all teacher's pet muggleborn girl you probably find annoying to do your research for you? He'd never get competent on his own that way. Don't use Hermione like Rowling did in canon.

    Magical reserves? Magical core? Fuck that shit too. You should read some of Taure's work on magical theory. Intelligence, knowledge, skill. None of this quantifiable magical reservoir inside of him that can run out and is probably off some magical scale.

    No actual nobility system? Excellent. Inheriting a good pile of gold and some dark artifacts and spell books sounds very good too.
     
  6. 0jordinio0

    0jordinio0 Seventh Year

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    I wouldn't involve Hermione anyway. Honestly? She gets way too much hype on fanfiction.net. She isn't some kind of genius, all she is, is a fucking walking textbook. It doesn't make you smart to recite a passage from a textbook. Honestly, it grated on my mind how hypocritical she was over the HBP book.

    She was angry from Harry for basically copying from a book. When that's all she does. She was only raging at him because he was getting better marks than her.

    Not enough people class her as arrogant, but she definitely is so.

    One of the most annoying people in fanfiction history for the Hermione hype, is that robst guy. He has like 13k reviews for a 200k word long fic, and it's absolutely fucking terrible. All his fics do is go into long details about how 'awesome' 'pretty' 'smart' etc Hermione is.

    Not to mention, book Hermione doesn't look half as good as Emma Watson by description. She's a bushy haired, buck toothed, scrawny ankled girl.


    And thanks, I'll check out Taure's work later if I can find it. Bit busy at the moment, gaming. :D
     
  7. Agravaine

    Agravaine Seventh Year

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    What's the emotional hook? Your main character sounds thoroughly unlikable, and it doesn't seem like you plan to surround him with anyone else who might be. Unless you can skillfully construct the story in a manner where this is a non-issue, I see very little to engage the reader.
     
  8. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    ^ Pretty much.

    What makes this story different from the legions of other stories where Harry has a bad attitude and becomes a badass?
     
  9. 0jordinio0

    0jordinio0 Seventh Year

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    Honestly? I don't know. My plan is for him to start off only looking out for himself, and being rather selfish. But, he'll keep being dragged into the events surrounding cannon that he wants nothing to do with.

    In a sense he'd kind of be like an anti-hero. I want to write about the abused-child who becomes a legend for better or worse. And his journey along the way.

    It's hard to say how my Harry would differ when I've not written any of this yet. At present, he'd still only be a kid with alot on his shoulders and alot of growing up to do.

    He's not gonna be some perfect badass.
     
  10. Photon

    Photon Order Member

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    Yes, it is sad. Hermione is ugly, have huge social problems and "humanoid search engine" is significant part of her abilities. Hermione as described by Robst is almost opposite of canon!Hermione. </rant>
     
  11. Clerith

    Clerith Ahegao Emperor ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Since you asked, some stuff I'd recommend. YMMV.

    -Keep the Dursley abuse within realistic limits. Harry wasn't actually physically abused aside from a few hits in canon. You don't need to make it much worse. Quite a few people also absolutely hate reading about this, myself included, so if the first chapters drag too long and it's all Harry getting beaten on, I'll drop the fic. Try to get past the initial bad childhood part reasonably swiftly but without rushing since you need to establish Harry's changes here.

    -Diagon Alley Shopping Trip. If you've read a few old indy!Harry fics, you probably know what to avoid. No mega trunk with a built-in apartment, library and swimming pool. Then again, Diagon Alley is a fantastic location, you could have Harry's first real introduction to the magical world here a little more in-depth.

    -Goblins. Selfish and cunning little buggers. Fuck Goblin friends, fuck "may your gold always flow" greetings.

    -Getting a wand is huge for a witch or wizard. Put some effort here, and don't make it "made of elder dragon pelvic bone, with the core of an abyssal demon's toenails, Dementor hearts and Basilisk venom, with a diamond focus".

    -Pepperup Potion cures common cold, it does not rejuvenate or restore magical reserves. I swear, 99% of fanfic writers get this wrong. More of a pet peeve, though.

    -Dumbledore. Please try to avoid the obnoxiously control freak puppet master tracking charms, memory charms, behavioral charms, magical core suppressors, stealing from Harry's vaults, hiding James and Lily's will, master plan: Harry Must Die Dumbledore. A hard character to get right, but a lot of people will appreciate it if you do.

    -Fred and George's twinspeak that changes the speaker every second word.

    -Canonically, "light" magic doesn't exist. Put some thought into your magical theory system, if you go there at all.

    -Knockturn Alley is not a place where you can easily purchase epic forbidden super dark tomes and various artefacts.

    That's just some stuff from the top of my head. There are literally hundreds of horrible HP cliches, just think about stuff when you plan the plot.

    Even if Harry is an unlikable asshole, I'd be interested if you intelligently portrayed his quest for power and knowledge, and asserting his dominance.
     
  12. 0jordinio0

    0jordinio0 Seventh Year

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    I was thinking of going to work on the prologue soon. But, there's still two things bugging me. I'm trying to decide whether or not to write in 1st person POV, or 3rd person past tense.

    1st person, I daresay is a tad easier to write. But, with 3rd person past tense it's easier to add in more description.

    And finally - Showing: I posted a Pokemon fanfic prologue that I've been working on in my spare time on here. And a few people stated that I didn't do a very good job of 'showing' the story to them. Any tips on what I should actually do to 'show' the writing better?

    ---------- Post automerged at 03:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:42 PM ----------

    Most of that is generally stuff that make me drop fics. So, I'll be avoiding them with a ten foot pole.

    I actually thought Peppur-up potions also gave the drinker's adrenaline system a jolt. And, basically gives them a fake boost of energy. But later, when the effects wore off they'd end up collapsing.

    On Dumbledore. I always have saw him as slightly manipulative, but only because he cares and is trying to protect them. And ofcourse, he's a very hard character to write correctly. Second only to Luna.

    The Dursley abuse is going to be mostly canon. From Vernon and Petunia giving him a smack every so often just like canon. But mostly, his injuries will come from the beatings he regularly takes fighting Dudley's gang.

    For the wand, any specific suggestions? I was just gonna stick with the good ol' 11 inches, holly and phoenix feather. I like to think of the wands as a wizards partner. Sure, there is some forms of magic that can be used without a wand but I prefer the wand to be the users partner. Kind of like Zanpakuto from bleach. I like to think of them as having a form of sentience, and the stronger a bond the wizard forms with their wand, the easier and more powerful their spells become and the harder it is for another wizard to use that wand.
     
  13. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Telling: Harry was terrified.
    Showing: Harry's face went ashen. His hands trembled as he reached for his wand.

    Telling: "Hurry up!" Harry said irritatedly. "We need to go. Now."
    Showing: "Hurry up!" Harry said. He slammed his hand onto the table with a loud crack. "We need to go. Now."

    Telling: Draco was dressed in expensive clothes.
    Showing: Draco wore dragonhide boots under his heavy, silk robe.

    Telling: The broom looked old.
    Showing: The broom leaned against a rotted door, its twigs bent or missing, the paint long since faded with age.

    ...those are some basic examples. But I'm not sure how bit an issue you had in your story. It could be something more along the lines of...

    Telling: Harry didn't like kneazles.
    Showing: Harry frowned as he saw the kneazle come out of Mrs. Figg's house. Filthy, dirty creatures. When he became the Minister for Magic he would make sure stricter breeding bans were put in place.

    In other words... I never had to say in that example that Harry doesn't like kneazles. You picked up on that yourself without me coming out and saying it because I've shown you.
     
  14. Clerith

    Clerith Ahegao Emperor ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    On Pottermore, there's actually quite a bit revealed about wandlore. Wands indeed possess some form of sentience, or at least they can have a temperament and their own quirks. I'd say that every wizard and their wand shares a unique relationship. Some wands are usable after their original owner's death, while others "wilt" and lose their magical ability. Some wands lean towards certain types of magic, while others are malleable and can be "trained" by the user. Very fascinating stuff. Check it out!

    I really believe that a wand is a wizard's most prized possession. That's why I believe that significant effort should be put into it.

    Holly and Phoenix feather is fine and expected, it's got the destiny stuff and all. Although since your Harry is going to have a different personality, I'm not averse to changing the wand. Phoenix feather is the best core, but for a wand wood... check out Pottermore's list of wand woods, and pick a suitable one for your Harry.
     
  15. 0jordinio0

    0jordinio0 Seventh Year

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    Right, Pottermore will-do.

    I meant to ask earlier, but is there somewhere on this site with a list of spells? Canon or created by people of this site?
     
  16. Photon

    Photon Order Member

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  17. Clerith

    Clerith Ahegao Emperor ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The DLP Spell List

    ...Take it with a grain of salt.

    Also The DLP Grimoire, which is basically filtered DLP Spell List.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
  18. 0jordinio0

    0jordinio0 Seventh Year

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    Hmmm, I'm thinking Ash wood, 9 inches rigid and unyielding with a Dragon-heartstring obtained from a particularly powerful and un-tamable Hungarian Horntail.

    Ash wood because it will only obey its true master, who is brave and will stand by his own beliefs. Rigid and unyielding because Harry is true to his plans of becoming 'top dog' so that nobody can ever mistreat him again. And a core from a powerful un-tamable Horntail because a wand like that channel the most power and Harry refuses to be 'tamed'.

    I'm a bit iffy on the ash-wood. I'm rather fond of the Ebony though, just because of the sleek black coloring.
     
  19. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    This just screams cliche, Indy!Harry. Especially the part I highlighted.
     
  20. Clerith

    Clerith Ahegao Emperor ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Maybe a little, but dragon heartstring is probably more fitting than phoenix feather for this Harry, and remember Ollivander's comments regarding Cedric's wand core? Maybe something like "dragon heartstring from an especially fierce Horntail" is enough.
     
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