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Strange Wizarding Sub-cultures, Traditions and Cults

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Glimmervoid, Aug 31, 2020.

  1. aAlouda

    aAlouda High Inquisitor

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    Apparently there existed a group of wiazards called Accionites, who refused to go out and get things for themselves like muggles and would only acquire things via summoning.

    The Summoning Charm might seem a very straightforward spell, but its dangers were proven by a band of extremist anti-Muggle wizards, who announced, in 1743, that they had declared war on ‘Muggle ways and Muggle behaviour.’ Calling themselves the ‘Accionites,’ their stated aim was to live in a manner ‘beyond the petty concerns of Muggles.’ Their leader was a wizard called Gideon Flatworthy, whom the Daily Prophet famously called ‘less a wizard, more a stupid, lazy walrus-like object who lies all day on a rather smelly cushion, and expects people to admire him for it.’

    Gideon Flatworthy decreed that the Accionites, as their names suggested, ought never to fetch, lift or carry, ‘for wizards are not, like lowly Muggles, beasts of burden, but nobler, finer and higher beings’ and that everything they required ought to be Summoned by magic.

    Unfortunately, the Accionites ran into trouble almost immediately. Refusing to do anything as mundane and energetic as visit Gringotts Bank, they swiftly ran out of money.

    Flatworthy did not believe in working, and declared that the only dignified thing to do was to ‘Accio’ more gold. This he attempted to do by pointing his wand in the direction of a nearby goblin workshop. In one sense, his plan worked. Several exquisite pieces of goblin jewellery (as yet unfinished, so without anti-theft charms upon them) came soaring in through the windows of the Accionites’ headquarters.

    The idiotic Flatworthy was still trying to fathom how he might sell his stolen treasures without leaving his cushion, when a horde of angry goblin goldsmiths arrived on the doorstep, armed with swords and baying for the Accionites’ blood. Flatworthy and his companions Disapparated at once, and re-established themselves in a dark basement.

    Aware that they were still being hunted down by fearsome goblins, and growing both hungry and thirsty, Flatworthy attempted to summon both food and drink to their basement lair. Naturally, the sight of cakes and wine flying along the streets towards the Accionites’ hideout immediately alerted their goblin pursuers to their whereabouts, and they were forced to Disapparate again, this time to a remote cave in Pembrokeshire.

    By this time, most of the Accionites were becoming disillusioned by Flatworthy’s leadership, and most of them decided that they would rather lower themselves to do some Muggle-like things like shopping, working and carrying groceries, rather than starve in a cave.

    Finally, Flatworthy found himself alone, light-headed with hunger, cold and miserable but still refusing to admit that he was wrong.

    Experts still debate what precisely led to his final, foolish act. Most agree that he had probably become delirious through lack of food, although some think that he was determined to die as he had lived. All we know is that, on the eighteenth of September, 1743, Flatworthy attempted to Summon himself an entire farm complete with livestock, cosy cottage and well-stocked larder. Naturally, the buildings would not shift, but the furious farmer followed his flying cows to the cave on the hill, and discovered Flatworthy, still lying on his cushions, but crushed to death beneath a pile of hay bales and cattle.
     
  2. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    I said to myself "Mordecai, there's no way thats real. There's no way thats part of canon. That sounds like something a 15 year old wrote on r/hpff." And I googled it, and then I became disappointed.

    Thats utterly ludicrous. The basic idea could work for an anti-muggle group - they go out into the muggle world and use magic to steal things from muggles because they believe wizards are superior and have the right to take what they want.

    But..."stole gold from Goblins because he refused to walk to Gringotts" and "summoned a farm because he was hungry"...what the actual fuck?

    The only saving grace is that its not really canon, its from a video game that must have been remarkably unsuccessful since this is the first time I have ever seen anyone mention it.
     
  3. aAlouda

    aAlouda High Inquisitor

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    Considering how the story is told I am pretty sure it's supposed to be. Like we know weird and crazy wizards are a thing, as the readership of the Quibbler shows, this is just the story of one and his friends.
     
  4. Sorrows

    Sorrows Queen of the Flamingos Moderator

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    To be fair if I had the summoning charm at my disposal I too would probably never leave my bed again.
     
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