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Abandoned Summoned by esama - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Nargles, Jul 24, 2011.

  1. Nargles

    Nargles Seventh Year

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    Location:
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    Title: Summoned
    Author: esama
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Humor
    DLP Category: The Alternates
    Pairing: None yet
    Chapters: 3
    Words: 23,942
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: In which three Harry Potters exchange fashion tips and war stories, and make arms deals in legs and small mansions. AU, Dimension travel, some swearing, Dark/Light/Armed!Harry
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6321768/1/Summoned


    The story is about three different Harry Potters that get summoned to one universe to deafeat Voldemort, but things, naturally, turn sour.

    It's not one of those stories to take overly serious, but it's a really fun read.

    4.5/5


    Checked by Minion, September 29, 2014
    The story is no longer available on public archives. Instead I attached a zip file with the story.
     

    Attached Files:

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 29, 2014
  2. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Dark Lord

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    Waaaaay to generous a scoring. It's decent as a comedy fic, but it's nothing special. I 'liked' the Harry's pasts (did I word that right?), but, to be honest, it wasn't funny...more like amusing, and, like all his other stories that will probably be submitted soon [following the trend], nothing happens. Just useless telling.

    2/5.
     
  3. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Average. Entertaining enough for me to read to the end of chapter one, but not sufficiently entertaining for me to click on the next.
     
  4. EinStern

    EinStern Seventh Year

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    While esama is a decent author, she's just that. Decent.

    This story, like most of hers, garners a 3/5 from me.
     
  5. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Dark Lord

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    Wow... I hadn't even realized there was more than one chapter.
     
  6. Nargles

    Nargles Seventh Year

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    Yeah, I know it's not a great story, but it does kill time on a rainy day. What really bothered about the fic was the grammar and spelling. If esama (the author) had given it a second read-through, it might have been better. A lot of words were missing in a lot of sentences.

    *shrugs* Oh well.
     
  7. Styx0444

    Styx0444 Minister of Magic

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    I can't call this a good story, it isn't good by any stretch of the imagination. The characterizations are pretty awful, several minor details are inconsistent, and if there's any plot to be had it's just an excuse for the crack to happen. That said, it's very entertaining. It picks up about a quarter of the way through chapter two, and I was actually disappointed that their wasn't more then three chapters.

    3/5
     
  8. JoJo23

    JoJo23 Unspeakable

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    I recall reading this a short time ago. The chief problem with it to me was that no one of the Harrys was even close to canon Harry. It utterly removes any ability for me to care, especially since each of the Harrys is a caricature.
     
  9. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    Backpedal faster. If this is how you felt/feel about the story, you shouldn't have placed it in For Review, but rather in Almost Recommended. Rainy-day, bored-shitless stories =/= library-worthy stories.
     
  10. Nargles

    Nargles Seventh Year

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    I know this is stupid of me, but I couldn't find the Almost Recommended section...

    *sighs* I should probably lurk some more, huh?
     
  11. Styx0444

    Styx0444 Minister of Magic

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    That would be because it's a thread, not a section. Yeah, you should probably lurk moar.
     
  12. Infidel

    Infidel Auror

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    That was an entertaining read. It was fun to read of the light Harry making money by scaring people about their health.

    4/5
     
  13. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    It's a decent enough story, though probably not worthy of inclusion in the Library. The latter chapters are better than the first, which I found boring. Light Harry is the best character. Not much happens in the story, though, aside from a few interactions among characters, some of which work and some of which don't.

    I'd rate it 3/5, properly placed in the Recycling Bin.
     
  14. wolf550e

    wolf550e High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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  15. Hesperion

    Hesperion Squib

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    I'd give it a 3/5

    it hasn't any plot to speak of yet, And I was deeply unimpressed with sobbing!Lily, but the three harrys themselves made me chuckle lightly pretty consistently. that's worth something in my book.

    spelling and grammar is an issue as well.
     
  16. Desmir

    Desmir Squib

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    This story was interesting but I feel that trying to juggle three Harry's was too much for the author to handle.

    There were a number of things that really raised the story in my opinion, being Alastors School (very interesting plot idea) and the "Light" harry had a bit of complexity.

    The light harry had a well thought out past and a deep personality, better yet there was much more to him than met the eye initially. The other two I found to be seriously lacking.

    The "Dark" harry seemed like a child always ranting about this or that. According to his backstory he was raised a prisoner and murdered his way to the top, I feel like his childish character was REALLY off. Reading his backstory I pictured some sort of brooding, quiet and vicious monster caged in the flesh of a man.

    Instead I got a failed comedian who acted like a twelve year old trying to impress his mates.

    I understand jokes play a large part of the story, the author is trying to make it fun to read but I feel this plot had alot of potential and that the author could have spent a long time fleshing out the characters.

    I would give it a 2/5 (the 2 being for interesting plot ideas and the interesting "Light" harry). I am not a very good author but as a member of DLP I feel it is my patriotic duty to discourage fics being brought to the library that are not up to standard.
     
  17. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    I think y'all are too harsh on this. For me,bottom line, I enjoyed it and found the idea extremely interesting. All three chapter were good, and if there are more, I will read them.
    Not sure to which genre I would place it though.
    4/5
     
  18. Tasoli

    Tasoli Minister of Magic

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    I read it sometime ago.

    3/5 at best
     
  19. D.S.

    D.S. First Year

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    Mmm, I admit I generally like esama. But that's probably because I've gone somewhat soft and became somewhat lenient on those whose first language isn't English at this point. Or I just don't give a shit anymore; it's entirely possible. And I enjoy a degree of crossovers.

    Overall, I didn't mind the story and the plot itself is pretty interesting. I've always thought the idea of putting an AU character into the canon 'verse somewhat intriguing and that there are quite frankly not enough of them. Or the ones that are there are usually horrific in various ways. While this story isn't strictly canon 'verse, it's close enough.

    I will admit that the Dark! and Violent! Harrys can be quite tiring to read because they are quite childish and immature. But I feel that Light!Harry does, in some way, make up for it because it's almost like he's become so light, he's blinding and cruel. All three together do make me chuckle somewhat, so that's something. The same with the various offhand quips of humor and sarcasm of varying degrees.

    The other characters come off as somewhat generic and cliche at times, I admit. But that's so common nowadays in fics, I've given up on snarling and bitching about it. I also suppose I've grown so used to how esama writes, I shrug off the various annoyances that bug others. Meh.

    I'd say a 3.5/5. If she fleshed everyone else more and stopped making the Dark and Violent Harrys so two dimensional, it might be pretty good. The idea, after all, is quite original.
     
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