And for the lulz factor make it a boy Harry and a girl siamese twin. Makes the conjoined twins even more freaky.

 

Is that even possible? I though Siamese twins had to be a partial split of a single egg/sperm combo, which would preclude the possibility of having different genders. I'll bow out to anyone with a modicum of knowledge in the subject though; biology in general isn't my forte.

 

Ok, so it's not possible technically, but a siamese twin fic would have to just be for the lulz, and self-incest? Definate lulz.

 

It's not incest, he's just masturbating.

 

I have no idea.

 

"Remember Harry," Vernon said, his neatly trimmed moustache quivering, "The fourth reicht will someday become a reality!"
With tears in his imperfect green eyes, Harry nodded quickly. "Yes, mein father! The power will spread!"
The Dursley family all donned their white capes and hoods and went out to their 1932 BMW. As they drove to the Kings cross station, all of them but Vernon, who was driving, pulled out their battered copies of Mein Kampf and read with tears of admiration rolling down their racially superior faces.
At the station, Harry saluted Vernon, his freshly-shaven head (As black hair was racially inferior) shining under the flourescent lights. "I will soon be back, mein father. I will crush the jewish scourge!"
Having spoken to the inferior half-giant, Harry knew the way into the platform that housed this 'magical trian'. He quickly ducked through the barrier and made his way to the train, not wanting to taint himself by conversing with the impure rats. There were negroes on the platform, CONVERSING with proper aryans, for Christ's sake!
He found himself an empty compartment that did not seem to stink of jew rats, and sat down to lay jewtraps. He had only finished three when a scraggly red head poked through his doorway.
"Hello mate mind if I sit here?"
"Not at all, comrade! Have a seat." Harry's imperfect green eyes watched for any sign of more inferiority (The boy barely deserved life, Ginger that he was), as the boy sat down.
"Blimey! Are those galleons you put on the seat? I don't even have two in my bank -"
The boy's speech was cut off by Harry's steel-tipped boot finishing a standard SS disarming technique with a throat-crunching step. "I have caught you, JEW!"
"What in the bloody -"
"DON'T TRIFLE WITH ME! You clearly fell for my Jewish gold trap, and then attempted to fool me into feeling sympathy for your so-called plight. Now what will it be, the furnace or the pre-dug grave?"
Ron's body fell into limp unconciousness due to the boot placed upon his throat. Harry proceeded to plant his high explosive wads of plastique along the train, ensuring the death of all the inferior rats aboard.
"I am not some Jew Wizard, fool."

My blurb at RacialSupremist!Harry

 

Thank you for making my day. The funniest and truest remark that had me cracking the hell up.

 

LOL!!!!! That was quite amusing. Very many lulz....

 

Cornelius Fudge glared at the "people" before him. The one in the centre was obviously Harry Potter, what with the trademark scar and emerald eyes, but the SS uniform he was currently wearing would throw off the casual observer. Around him were fifteen or so scantily-dressed blonds, who, despite being in front of the Wizengamot, were busy stroking the Boy Wonder's arms, legs, face, hair, chest, groin... He was leaning back in his chair, smirking at the crowd before him.

Behind this scene was an even stranger one. Hermione Granger (or so Weatherby, or whatever the hell his name was, informed him) was clad in a black leather dominatrix outfit, complete with spiked-heeled knee high boots, and was holding the leashes to at least half a dozen men, one of whom was whimpering. She glared at him, and the whimpering ceased.

Around the duo were gathered at least two hundred men and women, each in different states of arousal and undress. Fudge's eyes strayed to his own daughter, who has currently busy bouncing up and down on none other than Neville Longbottom. Despite every fatherly impulse, he found himself watching her enormous mammaries going up and down, until she finally came.

He hated himself right now; the hard-on he was sporting was clearly visible to the rest of the Wizengamot, the whole lot of them snickering at his discomfort. Face purple in embarrassment and rage, he screamed at the guards to restore order. The guards, however, were too busy joining in on the fun, keen to enjoy 10 sickle blowjobs from Ron Weasley, and his pimp Luna Lovegood. The blonde smiled as the next customer handed over his silver, and turned her protrubent eyes to the Minister.

"There's a Ministry discount, if you're interested," she said sweetly, before noticing one of her customers was currently violating Lavender Brown's sphincter. "Oi! That'll cost you extra!" Arthur Weasley just grunted, and continued pumping into the Gryffindor. Luna immediately sent her hired muscle, Crabbe and Goyle, to remove him. It would have been intimidating, if they both weren't wearing assless chaps.

"Fuck this shit," Fudge muttered, and walked out of the Courtroom. If he was lucky, he'd be home in time for a wank and biscuits.

Well... this was supposed to be CumDumpster!Ron, but things just got away from me.

 

Magic, baby, magic.

It obviously needs to be humor, but it doesn't have to be parody.

 

That fucking made my day, I have a new respect for you. I can't stop roffling.

 

Damn you. Now I really have an urge to read a fic where Ron is tricking just to feed his poor and untalented family. Harry will have to be first in line for a blow just because Ron would most likely save his cum and sell it to some fangirl for a few sickles.

 

*sigh* More failure and herpes. Put this shit in the TGYH forum.

Ignoring the fact that Nazi Dursleys would probably kill Harry, and Fudge fapping to anything borders on 'Verboten Literatur', this Weasley orgy shit is getting old.

Back on topic (though the topic is trippy as hell): I'd say opposite-sex siamese twins wouldn't be possible, but....there's magic in this case so who knows?

 

Harry have no idea what's a relationship or love. That is, until he watches some of Dudley's porn. The directions the story takes obviously depends on the... porn. It could be rapist!Harry, Harem!Harry, and what not. Also, he can watch MILF and take a stroll to the bathroom with Narcissa. Just saying.

It may have been done before, but I didn't see anything resembling it so... What d'ya think?

 

It has suitably twisted 'what the fuck did I just read' potential, but it would be pretty much down to the author as to whether or not that would be a good thing. Also, anything other than a mid-length WTF oneshot: hell no.

Actually, come to think of it, I don't think the harem bit could be pulled off. I've never seen anything in porn so structured that it could legitimately be called a harem, so the inspiration would be somewhat lacking for Harry. That, and 99% of the authors capable of pulling this off seem anti-harem!fic, as harems are slowly descending into cliché themselves.

I'd read rapist!Harry or Harry/MILF!Narcissa, but I'd read it regardless of whether or not it had that porn setup, assuming a decent author wrote it.

 

Isn't always?

Maybe, but I believe longer is not impossible.

Didn't you ever see 7 on 1 kind of things? Every 10-11 year old would want to be that guy, right?

Lucky for us there's that 1%. And harems are mostly cliché because the stupid way it's done. To see another letter from Gringrots will be boring, and planned weddings is bahh. To see a Harry that isn't an relationship retard, and actually takes advantage of the female interest in him from this point of view, is much less used.

Yes, but did you see a harry that acts like this, ,instead of this ,
while doing it? I think it's worth reading.

 

Indeed, but there's a distinct difference between an orgy/gangbang and a harem. The latter is a hierarchical, structured form of polygamy; its a distinct entity. Lots of people having sex does not a harem make.

Quite true. gets old mighty quick.

 

I won't make him watch 'Big Love' and those Mormons =/
And yes, maybe there won't be an alpha... but who fucking cares? Harems are basically to give a plot to a NC17 fic. You don't really need an alpha if you get the other elements right. Or, you can make an unofficial alpha. Lots of porn movies got that.

 

I've always wanting to read a Harry that actually uses his fame to get some action. Let's face it, he could have lost his virginity at the Yule Ball if only he'd had some balls and played his cards right with Parvati. Or Lavender.

Honestly, the guy is what... 14? At that point you seriously want to get laid, you don't really care who the chick is as long as she's hot and you get some. If I had been that famous, rich and stuck in a boarding school full of hot chicks... I'd replace Roger Davis as King Slut.

 

If they're hot you're not a slut - that's my motto. Anyway, I quite agree with you.

Here's another idea: Harry is the secret keeper. The potters don't get discovered. When Harry is about 3-7, his parents leave the house for the first time feeling comfortable enough. They get killed. Harry is alone in the house and nobody can enter...


Possibly doesn't know about magic, possibly doesn't really know how to talk, possibly read the whole library due to nothing else to do. It depends on his age. What do you think?