Ran Away but, here I am Again

I ran into this, tried to read it, and thought of this thread all lonely and not posted in for almost a week. It's a girl who lived, girl!Harry fic where the Potters treat Harriet like a slave and she runs away only to get called back someday. Such a sad tale *sniffsniff*

 

THat right htere made me laugh! For some reason, I really can't see James Potter with a six-pack.

 

http://europe.fanfiction.net/s/3293473/1/

17. Rover and The Super Walmart by Grrittss reviews

AU pepoel work at walmart and Voltemort kills harry but he comes up as a ghost and visits OC, the son of Ron and Mcgonnagle.
Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Action/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1026 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 12-17-06 - Published: 12-17-06

 

Does that say... Ron and Mcgonnagle? And people working at walmart? Wow, here I was thinking that originality was dying.

 

Maybe (s)he got some from WalMart.

 

That story FUCKING WINS.

No seriously it does, Ron and "Mcgonnagel's" baby. lol lol lol

 

SO CLICHE I HAD TO POST ALL 2 CHAPTERS​

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3246597/1/​

Harry Potter and the hand of destiny​

Chapter 1

It was a hot and dry day on number 4 privet drive most children were either down by the swimming pool or in the comfort of their air conditioned home except one boy who was weeding his family’s garden some would wonder why his parents wouldn’t tell the boy to come inside out of the sweltering heat and into the coolness of his home but the truth was his parents died when he was only 1 year old so he was dropped off at his uncaring relatives who hated every fiber of his being but he had no choice so he had to stay there because of his manipulative headmaster and to say he was pissed was a huge understatement

Chapter 2​

Harry woke up on the second day home at the people he called his relatives well waking up is a overstatement considereing he only got about a half hour woth of sleep because voldemort kept invading his mind and showing him how he kiled his godfather sirus black.
"Sirus wait dont leave me im sorry" he screamed at the shimmering vail that hung in the department of mysteries suddenly he came back out and whispered "harry why did you kill me I trusted you you were like a son to me" "sirius I am so sorry I didn't mean to kill you please forgive me" he said in a coarse voice " no you ungrateful little brat i hate you!"
As he was thinking of sirius a regal looking owl swept through his window and landed on hedwigs perch it had a envelope with a seal that looked as if it had stacks of coins imprinted on it he took it from the owl and told it that it was okay if it left now. He opned the envelope and took the old parchment from the envelope and started to read.

Dear Mr. Potter
It is with our most sincere regrets that we inform you of the untimely death of your godfather sirius black although we have the matter of the will to attend to if you have no means of transportation to arrive at diagon alley just owl us and we will send you a portkey immediatly

Sincerily Snarklehook​

That manipulative old fool why didnt he tell me about my godfathers will he thought angrily. Oh well thats the last time he intefers in my life the old bastard. Well might as well reply to snarkelhook if I am going to go to diagon alley to get the supplys I need to finally take down ridlle.

Dear Snarklehook
I am without transportation unconvienintly so I will need a portkey if you could send me one it would be gratly apreaciated

Harry Potter​

I may as well make a list of what I am going to do and buy in diagon alley and for that matter knockturn alley I mean it can't be all that bad or else the ministry or dumblefuck would have closed it down a long time ago most likely his manipulations again.

1.Buy books on all subjects: Charms, Transfiguration, Defence against the dark arts, Herboligy, Potions, Ancient Runes and arithmacy even though i havn't done them yet.

2. Books on dark arts.

3. Multiple compartment trunk MUST include library, sitting room, Potions Lab, Kitchen, Bedroom and bathroom etc...

4. Dark artifacts including time turner.

5. Eyes fixed.

6. Whole new wardrobe.

7. Tatoes and piercing.
Well he thought to himself amusingly that abouts covers up all of the materials i may need for my training. Since it is only about 12:00 I may as well go for a jog around the neighbourhood to get up my endurance. So he put on some clothes and headed downstairs where he wa confronted by his whale of a uncle who spluttered out "where do you think your going boy i didn't say you could leave" "well vernon to put it simply I was going for a run and as for your fucking permision i don't think i need it you tub of lard." He replied in a cold and harsh voice slipping out the door knowing that when he came home he would be in a world of trouble but he didn't really care he would be gone from here in less than a weak. As he started running he passed a strange girl with buble gum pink hair and what looked like overalls and clown shoes and unemotionaly said "tonks if you wan't to gaurd me at least try to dress up as a proper muglle would you" and shot past here leaving her with a stunned gaze on her face and a smile on his.
It suddenly started to go dark and he realised that he might as well go home for the last timke ever because im sure that my family has some properties somwhere. As he walked in the door he paid no attention to his uncle and aunt and going upstairs and into his room and hopped into bed ignoring his clothes and slept with a smile on his face knowing that tommorow was going to change his life forever.

REVIEWS

i'm a misfit
2006-12-17
ch 2, reply carry on please

Nicol
2006-12-11
ch 2, reply Well, you piut up the ground , lets see what you do with it...

PLEASE use a spellchecker , you make stupid mistakes or
you are 8 years old and don't know better.Always re-read your story to check for mistakes.

ALWAYS use capital letters with names , cities etc ex Diagon Ally ,Riddle , Sirius etc,etc,etc.

Well I hope you continue this ,take care.

Nicol

YaoiFan26
2006-12-02
ch 2, reply The first chappie was most definatly a run-on sentace! it didnt even have perid! (.) I liked the second chappie though. It did have a fw run-on sentances though.

cue.evil.laugh
2006-11-27
ch 2, reply i get where you're going w/ this and like it but...you need spellchecker...or a beta...YAY harry's getting tattoos AND peircings! heh good boy harry's gonna become badass harry...

Yuki-Shuichi-chan
2006-11-18
ch 2, replySpelling, grammer, and sentence stucture please! it would be great if it werent for that. Get a beta or something to help it out.

Mr.Wierd
2006-11-17
ch 1, replyhey mike i dont really get but i guess its good so congratsnman

cue.evil.laugh
2006-11-15
ch 1, replythat must have been the longest sentence i've ever read...OH WELL! i wanna see were you go with this fic! :O)

​

He had to get his friends to review even though they never read harry potter

 

Erm ... Madeye ... you are into the BDSM thing, aren't you? At least the S part.

Otherwise you wouldn't have beaten our brain to mush with posting not only the second chapter but also the reviews.

 

I am seriously contemplating starting a story of my own that will be riddled with cliche's just to see how many people kiss my ass... Oh wait I mean like my story.

 

Write a story in a way that you can post it as both Harry/Draco (better: Harry/Veela!Draco) and Harry/Ginny simply by replacing the names. Ok - some more words but over all the same story posted twice.

Length should be about six chapters, each chapter about 500 words. Fill the first five with usual cliches you find in other H/D and H/G fics. If you don't want to look into other H/D fics, take only the cliches of the H/G fics. They are probably the same.

Ch. 1: Ginny Draco writing Harry
Ch. 2: Ginny Draco understanding Harry
Ch. 3: Ginny Draco slapping Petunia
Ch. 4: Ginny Draco slapping Vernon
Ch. 5: Ginny Draco admitting his/her undying love

Each chapter should be posted with a delay of five days. Thus, within a month or so, 90% of all fan-girls out there have you on their author alert.

Now post chapter six
Ch. 6: Harry beating the shit out of Ginny Draco and killing him/her the most gruesome way possible and then retreating into the arms of Luna Lovegood

The reviews for the last chapter will be great stuff for some laughs!

 

I find it depressing that people actually like that shit. Then again, these are probably the same people that get off reading MPREG fics - the Snape/Dobby kind.

 

seeing this it makes me want to cry

 

... you're making me really want to try that you know. I've been planning it for awhile, but I really want to try and write one now just to see what would happen. It'll make me ill reading every fic containing those cliches to get my info, but it can't be much different from studying (PsychicLunar has never really studied).

Unfortunately, I don't have my own contribution (as I have somewhere to go now). I'll be back later.

And those who get off reading about people shitting their children need to isolated from humanity, lest their mental state is catching. I'm quite happy with my insanity thanks and don't intend to catch the Dumbass Disease anytime soon.

 

Hey, if it works for them.

Still, it would probaly help if they at least tried to have something that resembled a plot.

 

I do this for you, fellow DLPers. I submit myself to the chopping block, and prepare to read, for you, possibly the most dreadful story in the universe. Maybe even two or three of them.

I'm not one to draw out my own death, so let's begin...

Harri, eh? Can't you just be butch and save me the pain?

One: "He was sexy." No. I'm crying right now, people.
Two: There seems to be a lot of smirking going on, and it scares me. So until they're all smirked out, let's have some fun with names...

Moving on.

I feel particularly emo right now. Such and such about 'the world is spiralling down and down into darkness, blah blah blah, and how I want to rip out my spleen.

Ripping out my eyes sounds good about now though.

The author does not deserve to live.

​

​

 

The WalMart fic updated:
www.fanfiction.net/s/3293473/2/

 

You know, if we just pushed her down the stairs and she cracked her skull open, no one would really care.

 

Bad Mary-sue fanfics being mocked bit by bit can be found here along with a picture created to look vaguely like the Mary-sue(s) in question. My favorite part was when Ashley ripped up the sorting hat... I don't think that the site has updated for awhile, but I hang around because it kills time and amuses me.

Now for this thread I nominate... pretty much every single one of my beginning fanfics. I can't post the link or a quote because really... they sucked so bad that I deleted them when I snapped out of my fangirl/mary-sue-loving/Ginny-liking/retarded self and evolved into a better person. Deleted! I don't even recall half the characters names... I'm so proud of myself.

And Quidam: 1, yes we should push the author down the stairs and preferably with something heavy following; 2, your avatar scares me for some reason.

 

1. Maybe a full loaded mini van?
2. It scares alot of people for some reason.

And due to bordem and Christmas spirt, I've searched the HP fandom and have found over 50 fan fics that are parodies to the Christmas Carol. Guess who plays Scrooge. I'll give you a hint:he's dark and angsty.

Note: Just to let everyone know, I love Ronald to death and I just found out that good for nothing Mary Sue, xxxbloodyrists666xxx, turned him into this! DIABOLO WEASLEY!?!?!?!? Okay, now I have a new reason to murder this girl in her sleep!

 

Those of you who can't already tell the story's bad... you completely fail at life.

This is the complete first chapter. For a second there I thought it said Voldemort died of haemorroids. I smell a plot bunny...

I shan't say a word.

I can barely believe this is rated T. But I look back, and then I do... this is FanFiction.Net, remember? Slash isn't just an idea, it's the law. Or the admins are totally gay.

Edit: Slash isn't just an idea, it's the law. But femmeslash is unholy and against God, you heathens. Don't bother asking.