This is very readable, and that's saying quite a lot considering that I'm predisposed to loathe anything even remotely resembling Severitus... obviously Snape here is nothing but a Snape-shaped OC, but if he were consistent with canon this story wouldn't work on any level so it's a necessary evil.

For that matter, each of the characters is OOC to some degree (except maybe Hagrid), but they're well crafted, interesting, and consistent. The author is clearly a talented storyteller, it's a shame he/she seems to have such a Snape fetish... oh well.

4/5 because of the borderline Sexy!Debonair!Dark!Snape, which is just a huge pet-peeve.

 

While many are complaining about OOC Snape, I find this to be a startlingly realistic portrayal of a man with an unrequited crush on his best friend. The biggest discontinuity I see is Snape's not laying blame for Lily's death. By all rights, he should be filled with self-hatred for his role in bringing the prophecy to Voldemort's attention, and his hatred for James should have shifted its focus from schoolyard rivalry to James' failure to protect Lily.

In one scene in particular, Snape's internal monologue goes something like, "That idiot James couldn't even protect his own son; lily was ten times the mage her husband was," when it should have been, "That bastard let my Lily die!" I can overlook this minor flaw, however, because the solution would result in much unpleasant angst.

Other than that, Dumbledore behaves quite questionably. Either he is senile and doesn't recognize Arabella Figg's reports of abuse for what they are, or he is incompetently evil and makes no serious offort to salvage the schemes that are falling down around him.

The biggest thing this story has going for it, however, was that I was able to read the whole thing from start to most recent update without once pausing to question the mental health of the author. The past few fics I have read--those posted recently in For Review and Harry Potter and the Four Founders from Taure's 'Favorite Stories' tab--have on several occasions encouraged me to cry out, "Oh, John Ringo, no!" This story has not prompted such a response, and for that I give it a 4/5.

 

Wow Taure, excellent find.

The author could be a pro, in my opinion - and has better writing skills that Abraxan, who tried to go pro, if I do recall...

I haven't read the other stories he's written yet, but I probably will when I get a few spare minutes.

As far as the Snape characterization goes, I think it's both believable and fair to the character. Snape's still a jealous tool in this story, just as he was in canon; he's living a life full of regret, and angsting over a picture of Lily in her wedding dress? That sounds just like canon Snape to me, who was angsting over a picture of her that he tore Harry and James out of in DH.

In fact, everything the author's written is believable, and nothing (Taure can correct me if I'm wrong here) violates anything we KNOW about canon - the Runes thing you can argue correctly that we have no idea what they were in canon.

Truthfully, this so far is a better novel than Philosopher's Stone, I hope it keeps up.

5/5 from me.

 

I found this fic a few days ago and tought of bringing it here but just as fast I realized that I might get kicked out of this site for the Severitus. I'm glad that Taure brought it here, this fic really deserves a chance.

I won't say I loved it, it has many faults, most of them have been said already but the author has an incredible way of telling the story and I found myself inmersed, I will give the fic 4/5 just because it took too long to get Harry in Hogwarts.

 

Updated today, I couldn't help but feel that the fic was hard to get back into after a while without an update. Moreover, not much happened in the chapter at all, and near the end the author seems to lose her mind (WTF@ Spiderman quote in all-caps).

 

Haha, yeah, I though that was a bit odd too...

Every time a new chapter comes out I have to go back and read almost the entire previous chapter just to remember what's going on.... and a lot of the time I still can't really keep it straight. I know that I read the chapter last night some time, but for the life of me, I can't remember anything about it except for that weird line... "WITH GREAT POWER..." and the glowing green eyes. Foreshadowing, or strange creative license?

 

I've enjoyed reading it so far, up to a point. For the most part this story is seems to be very much...contrived, as if the author picked an outcome and then decided to bash us over the head with how clever she was getting there.

 

It's fun to read, though most of the characters are suffering from some level of OOCness. It was wandering around in Badger country for a few chapters but seems to be getting back on (or off) track now, which is a good development. I find myself wondering what Snape is going to do exactly and eager for the next in a series of fairly regular updates.

4/5

 

I thought that the "WITH GREAT POWER..." Spiderman quote, and Harry raving about how deep it was really was just supposed to be something funny that the author added in. It didn't particularly annoy me.

I actually liked this story quite a bit, despite the fact that the last few chapters before Hogwarts seemed to kind of drag to me... I kept thinking 'c'mon, can we just get to Hogwarts already?!' Normally I'm quite prejudiced against Severitus-like stories, but this one actually managed to capture my attention, and be interesting without Harry turning into a mini-Snape. I liked that he ended up in Hufflepuff, although I think his conversation with the hat seemed a bit... off? to me.

4/5 overall, because the quality of the writing is excellent and it's the best Snape-mentors-Harry fic that I've ever read.