So this is a concept a few of us tried out not so long ago for a contest and because of the quality of the stories produced among such a small group I'm opening the challenge to all of DLP.

The challenge is to write a piece, this time of any length, that is based on a tired worn out old HP FF cliche.

Republic got marriage contracts and he excelled with his story, "The harried heiress" in wba under some other title.


The cliches as they stand are:

Marriage contracts
Magical trunks
Soul bonds
The power of jogging
Super shopping trips
Sentient Hogwarts
Fifth house
Manipulative Dumbledore
Secret agent unspeakable
Time Turner training
Lord Potter-Black-Gryffindor-etc-x5
Harry's foot long schlong
Good Draco
Multiple animagus
Fuck Voldemort, I'm a quidditch pro

And whatever other suggestions people can add.


The reason I'm posting this is that the few who completed their set challenge did so in such a DLP way it brought life to a tired trope.

Can you do the same?

 

It is said that the true heir of DLP could write all of them.

 

Of course. Get rid of the one stipulation that cost me the victory.

 

I love this idea, but finding the time will be tricky; do we have to sign up for a specific cliche?

 

Hm. Taking "soul bonds" might be just the opportunity I've been looking for to write that Ron/Dumbledore fic I owe Steelbadger.

 

I'll take the magical trunk one, write a script, make a movie out of it, and call it "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them." Should gross a billion.

 

Is this about those fics where Harry gets implausibly badass over the summer by doing nothing more than basic exercises and booklearnin'?

I feel a One Punch Man crossover in the air.

 

Pretty much. You know the ones where he religiously jogs around the lake every morning.

 

I'm tempted to do the Unspeakable challenge.

I've been re-reading le Carre's Smiley books lately and I can totally picture Professor Sprout as a spy.

The bunny ...

Pomona Sprout spent thirty years travelling the world discovering new plants before coming to Hogwarts. With the unprecedented access that being a renowned Herbologist gave her she was able to access closed societies and academic circles that remained closed to most outsiders. She recruited agents and ensured a steady flow of information went back to her bosses in the Department of Mysteries. Now in her twilight years she's been sent to Hogwarts to talent spot future recruits.

Thoughts?

 

Sounds pretty interesting. Unspeakble bros Harry and Neville?

 

Neville maybe because he fits the le Carre mold. Harry I'm not so sure about.

 

Damn, totally want to do the Manipulative Dumbledore

 

I presume you're aiming for reconstructions, not deconstructions here?

 

Harry Potter takes a run around the lake after Quidditch practice one morning to take his mind away from the marriage contract he has with Milicient Bulstrode.

Due to the contract rapidly forming a soul bond for him, he begins to share some of her characteristics - a love of shopping trips is the first urge he has.

While he’s on one of those shopping trips he sneaks out of Hogwarts for, he discovers a magical trunk manufacturer who’s created a magical trunk wherein he is protected by the seeking tendrils of magic of the soul bound, so he purchases it and begins to spend his time in there to escape the clutches of the Bulstrode family.

It turns out, however, that this magical trunk is only one of the many connected to a network of magical trunks which are entrances to a labyrinth from where, if one delves deep enough, there is no escape. The most prominent of these entrances is the Room of Requirement, which has developed a rudimentary sentience that lures students into this labyrinth.

Due to Harry Potter’s heritage as Lord Potter-Black, and the fact that he’s a Parselmouth who’s drawn the Sword of Gryffindor, he’s uniquely suited to being lured in by this magic. Dumbledore, who Harry believes is a manipulative old coot for trying to stop him from spending more and more and more time in his magical trunk, gives Harry a Time-Turner so he might be able to spend more time in the real world.

But this backfires, and Harry simply uses it to divine the secrets of the magical trunk. When Draco learns of this, he works his hardest to stop Harry from disappearing into his trunk - like many members of the Malfoy family have done in their history.

Draco sneaks into the Gryffindor Dorms and into Harry’s Magical Trunk as a Ferret animagus, against his better judgment, he reveals it to Harry, but when Harry begins to duel him in the tightly enclosed space, they’re both sucked into the Trunk Labyrinth.

There, in the Wastelands of Trunk, they meet a long lost secret agent unspeakable - Celeste Lovegood, and the three of them attempt to use the powers of Quidditch, Time Turners and Double Penetration (ft. Harry’s Foot-Long-Schlong and Draco’s Foot-Long-Dong) to escape the labyrinth.

Their salvation comes in the form of Harry’s soul bond, which they piggyback the magical signal back to Milicient’s magical core to light their path out of the Wastelands of Trunk, fighting against the magical constructs that the sentient Room of Requirement has created from the lost objects of a millenia of students to stop the three of them.

 

You had me until this.

Then you double had me.


I wrote a piece for the original challenge on the shopping trip cliche. It was fairly average stuff, with a few cheeky chuckles. I may expand and post in WbA soon.

 

Good work, you've given me an idea

 

Joe

There were more than a few chuckles. It was sublime.

 

Yeah? I wasn't sure on it - thought it may have been a bit slapstick, a cheeky bit obvious. Cheers, Seratin.

 

I have honestly never seen these.

 

I'm not sure about the Quidditch Pro one, but the fifth house one was very prevalent years ago. It might still be but I don't go looking anymore I rely on recs.