Forgot to add that this should go into the Independant category. Not the smallest idea how I'm supposed to edit my post.

 

I don't know; this story really didn't catch me. The first chapter was interesting, but I'm only at chapter five and already bored.

The writing style seems to be average (although it'd be above average compared to most of the fanfiction universe) with grammar and spelling mistakes scattered throughout. The magical suppressor isn't exactly explained, and Hermione is obscenely OC. Not that I don't appreciate good bashing, but it has to be good. You've transformed her whole Hogwarts career into trying to gain the upper hand on purebloods which while interesting, shows Harry and Ron to be bigger idiots for not even seeing glimpses of her anger and ambition. Bad show.

I probably should read the rest of it before rating, because as Quazi Joe says, his first few chapters are that great, but as it stands, its a solid 3/5.

 

I read this a while back, not sure when, but it didn't hold my attention at all. Was just boring, and its Canon/Pussy Harry pretty much in the beginning...couldn't stand it. 3/5 for me. -1 for not keeping my attention, and -1 for Canon!Harry.

Richard.

 

Okay...Now that I've finished reading that beast, I feel like I can comment on it.

It's not bad; in fact, if it weren't for the annoying, bad spelling that appeared at least once a paragraph throughout most of the story, I could almost call it good.

Like others have said before, Quazi, "Ya" is a four letter word. Also, try and be careful with names, especially McGonagall's; I have no idea how many times I've read McGonagale, but I do not like it.

...One thing I must mention, though. I have no idea why, but you seem to have come under the impression that "Women" is the singular form of the word; this is most definitely not the case. Women refers to more than one Woman.

...There are so many problems I could point out, I'm just going to scoff and rate it. 3.5/5 at the moment; fix up the spelling and grammar, and I'll bump it up to 4/5.

 

I didn't spot a DLP category for some reason. Where would this go?

 

Independent Harry or canon continuation (general).

 

LOL

It's pretty good overall, but MugglesAreBetter!Harry rubs me the wrong way, as does the whole 78000 thing.

 

Some parts are good, others are simply boring, to be honest. The whole story moves too slowly. Maybe there's more to come on the Muggles being able to counter Magic, but so far, it has been introduced in the story in a unique and interesting way, but it hasn't really had any major impact on events. It seems like Joe has plans for this plot-line, but I'm not sure it will connect with the whole stuff written in between.

ETA: I had almost given up reading. It gets more interesting after chapter 18, and things finally start to fit together.

 

First chapter was like kinky dobby/dumbledore sex. Painful to read, and giggly as well.

 

I believe that it's been stated - multiple times - that the first few chapters suck royally. Get a little farther in before you judge the story.

 

I remember reading part of this.....After I got slightly farther than the magical suppressors part I dropped It. I couldn't stand the Muggles controlling magic.

It might be bearable if the typos were fixed. 2.8/5

 

Since I am the Author, and apperently, I am exempt from the bumping rule for this specific thread... and considering I have a legitimate update...

Consider this Thread

BUMPED ​

Anyway...
No I have not abandoned the story... and [insert apologetic sorrowful excuses]. Anyway, this is an update on the fic status. It has been anesthetised temporarily as I do a complete rewrite starting from chapter 1 onward.

You've all complained... you've all pointed out how I've spent McGonagall wrong from day one, how yeah is a four letter word... Now I'm fixing it.

The thing that I should point out though is that while I am correcting these annoyances... I will also be rewriting dialogue and plot. The general story will not change, but certain events will change slightly or alter completely.

Like I said... A complete Rewrite.

I'm not going to delete the old story so if you really want to read it go right ahead, but with every update the original chapter will be replaced, so this is your chance to read the original in it's entirety.

I'm going to start writing next Thursday. Hopefully mid October I'll have a few rewritten chapters cranked out.

Till next time.

 

I'm glad to hear that. While there are some basic spelling errors and such, I for one can ignore them if the story captures my attention. Which your's has btw.

I really like how you have portrayed Luna and Tonks. Most authors can't get those two characters right and make me want to whack my head against a table. But you have managed to pull them off beautifully so kudos to you.

My favorite scene is the battle in the kitchen between the House-elves and the Bob clones... That was awesome!

Hope to see more soon.

 

Yeeaahh I've read a little bit of this and also stopped after the 78,000 thing, so I don't think I got to the part with the " Bob clones" ?!!?

I'll check it out around the new year and see if I like it then, so expect a review from me sometime in january.

 

Really glad it wasn't abandoned, welcome back!

And please ignore the nitwits who have a beef with muggles finding out a way to suppress magic. It opens up for some spectacular plotlines. And honestly, it's not that far fetched.


Edit: Curious about something, how advanced are the wizards in the medical field? Did they co-auth with the non-magicals in their past or kept everything separate? Did they progress at all? Considering some of the terminology you're using in the fic.

 

As to your question, Muggles and wizards have never really worked together in the past before, especially in modern times; so there's no co-research.

My explanation for any simmilarities in terminology and knowledge is that, every now and then, a truly exceptional wizard will come along in some field of interest.

When they have exausted all research they can from the wizarding side of things, they may branch out into the muggle side.

They may borrow ideas or terminology, or when they learn something new like how neuro chemicals are involved in the brain (I think thats where your questions coming from) they do they're own research in the magical world and see if they can prove such things magicly; thus earning them fame and praise from their peers for beign so innovative.

It has to be on the wizards side because the muggles don't know anything about the magical world let alone their medicine. I'm going to be a pessimist and say if the muggles had the opportunity they would have done the same thing.

It's highly competative out there...

This all goes back to my is magic magic, or science thing.

Each group has found a way to explain a simple fact using either scientific or magical means.

Which is it? is the world governed by strict fundamental laws of science, or the more flexible mysterious forces of magic.

Can't they be the same thing? Is one really the other... ?

Did that answer your question?

 

So basically wizards grab non magical advancements when they're stumped.

Couldn't the XXXX, can't ever remember which digits, group have helped the normals with magical advancements too then? Considering for how long they've been cooperating.

 

I wouldn't describe it like that exactly but in essence yeah.

Wizards do come up with their own ideas, and sometimes they'll parallel or predate the muggle versions.

As to the 7800... no. They have never cooperated

Up until the news report about them that Harry saw, no one ever found out about the 7800. Well thats not exactly true... but the wizarding government never found out about it at least.

That's why it was such a big thing in the story, as suddenly the wizards find out that...

"Hey these muggles have been keeping a really big secret. How did they do that, who are these people, what other secrets are they keeping, what are they playing at... Whats going ON!?"​

It puts a whole new spin on reality for the average witch or wizard.

I'll try and clear that up when I rewrite that chapter.

Anyway, I had hoped to have the chapter out by now but that didn't happen. But I guarantee, sometime Friday, I will have a rough copy up in the 'Work by Author' section.

Edit: I wanted to ask... is there anything in the story you guys would like me to focus on when I do my rewrites... I'm not saying I'll change it just because you ask. But I know there are some things you guys are antsy about.

Somethings I just have to keep, but if you have any suggestions, and you explain why you think something should change, I'll definetley give it some thought.

 

Legitimate update in progress

Consider this Thread

BUMPED ​

Anyway, alot of time has passed and I can't see myself finishing the story anytime soon. Soo... I'm looking for someone willing to make it their own.

Perks include, being able to bump this thread as much as you want and the exclusive rights to the Gummi's (TM)

There are rules and such( see authors profile on ff.net) but otherwise, I'm willing to be pretty open with my selection process. But I'm only going to have one author do it, I don't want tons of different versions of my story out there. Gets so confusing...

Anyone interested?

 

That's too bad, I liked this story.

I don't think anyone will be able to take this over, many aspects of it are too specific and original to be pawned off to some random author.