Picky, picky, picky. I did notice that as well, but was too busy evilly chuckling and stroking my fluffy kitty of doom to give a damn about it.

I have a really kinky image of a scantily clad Amanda grinding herself against a Harry P. just reunited with his beloved, while standing over a Maeve bound à la man in the iron mask that I can't seem to get rid of. Dirty mind, I know, I blame Shezza for making Amanda's mother so hot.

 

Is Amaris full Fae or still a changeling. Changeling's have souls right? I am kinda confused since she seems to be acting like a soulless Fae. If Amaris is a full soulles Fae now then her attitude is perfect. If she is still a changeling then I am confused over her attitude since other changelings in the DF series seem to act pretty human.

"“I wished to understand more about my human side,” Amaris answered blandly. “Apparently, I am a very disturbed young girl.”"

This implies she still has a human side which makes me even more confused since that means she is a changeling.... ~confused as hell~

Later on when talking to Maeve though it seems like she already became a full Fae since she acted fairly soulless.

I am utterly confused can someone give me some answers o.0

 

This was...highly disturbing. Still, it was very well written. When will Dumbledore and Co. come in?

 

I think it's pretty clear she's still a Changeling. Shezza isn't exactly following DF canon here, so I think it's safe to say Amaris will remain a changeling until she does something to really tip the scales (ie, kill/save her father). That's how I've always envisioned it anyway - a climax determines Amaris' fate. Just because she has been indoctrinated as a Fae doesn't mean she will change into one just yet.

As for Harry, I can understand why he's taking his daughter's 'plea' seriously, but I honestly hate that he is. I mean, it would be so obvious to me Amaris was lying. Harry's in the domain of the Fae, he shouldn't trust anyone, especially not someone like Amaris. Maybe Maeve and Amanda are right? Harry's too much like Dumbledore. He's a "good" person. Sure you can say he's murdered people in cold blood, but the way he's acting now just shows how easily he's influenced by emotion.

 

Boring.

Torture, Amaris kissing daddy, torture, Maeve's "blah blah blah, evil plan, blah weak human, blah blah", torture, Harry being a faggot, blah blah.

Getting old, real quick.

I understand that this is necessary towards the mood of the story, but seriously its just getting fucking repetitive at this point.

I'm pretty much at the point where I just don't fucking care anymore. I'd rather wait a month and come back when Harry is back to hurting things, skipping all of the shit that's going on now.

 

I.E. I don't like depth in my stories, I prefer a shallow tale of the main character getting his way all the time and all conflict being trivial.

 

I'm going to have to agree with Taure here.

Perhaps you have a point about the Amaris/Harry stuff - it is a little cliche, throwback to typical villain behaviour - but I think you have to realize this story is past what you think you want.

If Shezza kept giving us pointless action scenes (which is what he was nearly doing, what with the bank scene, then Tessa - I don't know what else he could have done after that but have Harry go all out war on Voldemort and his followers), you would have probably said something like you're saying now, "Zomg so boring, Harry just pwns stuff with fire! Where's the story Shezza?"

Whether you like all this or not (I do), you have to realize it's more than necessary for the story to go forward. I think we'll find Harry's march on Voldemort much more pleasing if he's a changed person while he's doing it.

The story will stagnate if Shezza just gives us action scene after action scene.

My suggestion, go watch... Rambo? There's more than enough violence to go around these days :9, so I don't think you'll have trouble finding any.

 

Not really.

But maybe it didn't come out the way I wanted it to.

Even I need a break from the series of action scenes we had prior to this, the thing with Tessa seemed to go on forever. I just don't dig torture scenes and captivity scenes, and at this point its become repetitive to me. Honestly, I would have preferred time spent at Hogwarts with Harry actually building on the relationships that he's already started with people like Dumbledore and Amanda.

I just see this little interlude, along with all torture/captivity scenes, as being completely boring. Some people like these scenes, thinking they build strength of will and really bring out a characters true self in extreme situations. I don't. Some people like Harry to have one leg and no eyes from his time being skullfucked by Vernon. I don't.

Opinions are why we have these things called reviews. They aren't just there for people to kiss the author's ass and tell them how awesome they are. Do I expect Shezza to take out these scenes and replace them with mind numbing violence, no. In all honestly I wouldn't even be shocked if The Genderless One never even reads the review. However on the off chance he/she/it does, then he/she/it will have another opinion about that chapter.

See unlike some people, namely you. I actually state my opinions about stories rather than licking up every word an author writes like cum spilled on the floor from your time on your knees.

If I don't like something, then I'll say it.

 

AHAHAHAHAHA

If you'd been following the thread, you would have seen that I out of everyone bitch the most about stuff in this story. I pretty much wanted him to re-write about 20k of the Tessa chapters <_<

So don't talk to me about constructive criticism. You opinion is worth shit, if all it is is "BAWW I want Harry to get his way".

You see, if you don't like something, you gotta justify it. For example, when I didn't like the Tessa chapters I said it felt like a retcon in that we'd never heard of her before, and odd pacing in that it was a lot of action seemingly out of nowhere, far too much for the significance of the foe.

All you've said is that you find crucial character interaction and development to be boring and would prefer yet another action scene.

That pretty much reveals the worth of your criticism.

This isn't an interlude. This is the fic. I'm pretty sure this is the beginning of the climax.

 

Actually I said that I'd like "crucial character interaction and development" in a different setting, because I found torture/captivity scenes boring.

But you know what.

Misquote me all you want.

I've said what I came here to say, and I don't feel the need to justify myself to you.

 

My grasp of English must be slipping as well Taure.

 

Hey

Speaking of Crucial Character interaction, I really dug this line:

Way cool, and great play on words. I'm loving it.
But this is also a really great moment. What exactly is Harry's morality? Voldemort destroyed his soul, and we know what dementors can do...Harry's soul is intact, but where does his morality come from. I like it, but its a great opportunity, and frankly you set it up so well, but Harry never delivers with an interesting line. It raises all sorts of questions about humanity that are linked to both Dresden and HP canon regarding the nature of a human. A half-fae daughter and a man who has sold his soul and murdered countless individuals including innocents (guards on boat anyone?).

On another note:

I was actually pleased by how rich this was and with no graphic torture needed. Its less than a paragraph and far less explicit. Harry's naked and cold, and Amaris flips him up and heals him. Done. Then onto exciting character interaction to explore Harry/Amaris parent/daughter thing. I really dug Harry's restraint and integrity. Consistently snarky, yet reliably righteous.



But I do think Amaris is inconsistent, and there are two issues raised here, that pivot around the same event.

The changing event here is Harry is able to get his arm free, and has Amaris in a death grip. This is THE MOMENT. (Maybe he can use Magic to help justify this, as right now it just seems like poor security. Harry drains himself with a surge of accidental magic, it makes more sense....Anyway)

This assault changes the entire dynamic for one moment where he goes from victim to attacker. And if Maeve is watching...

Why isn't she helping her daughter? Is she that confident that harry won't hurt her? Or is she that cold? Either way, I'm sure its not something either of them expected. Amaris can and should be genuinely stunned and scared by this turn of events. Its a truly mortal and human moment for creatures that are nigh invulnerable with the exception of iron aka steel (which is oxidized iron).

He can even be tempted to kill her, but hesitate when he looks at her. In a way, I think Amaris and Amanda truly are Harry's human salvation, which is what you've been setting up (Amanda taking coin, Harry being unable to kill Amaris). They are the only remotely human things he cares about beyond a forsake fallen angel.
I think you can take a beat here, when he sees he's got Amaris literally by the jugular, but he also realizes he couldn't really harm her anyway. "save me save yourself" is exactly right, and it goes for both of them.

Maeve should do something though. Reprimand Amaris for allowing herself to be vulnerable. Show how icy she really is. This is a big moment and you let it go too easily. Its a turning point for both of them.

I also loved the bit about Amaris being odd even for Fey. It subtly revealed so much about how she is dislocated and odd in both worlds, that even in her "home," Amaris is not comfortable and does not fit in.

Terrific.

Regarding imprisoned Harry, take your time. After more than a 18 months of writing, exploring and us following this character, I believe you have definitely earned it. Particularly after the blood-lettings you've shown Harry dish, this is appropriate. Turnabout is fair play, and this is, to be blunt, a more mature look at violence rather than a "get your rocks off" thing (which can be fun too). This acknowledges how horrifying and truly grotesque it is to try and deliberately inflict pain, harm, and suffering on another, especially when they are unarmed and defenseless. I'm curious how this will affect Harry.

Either way, keep it up.

And, naturally, UPDATE SOON!!11!

 

repetition

Either "so could she" or "she could too"

ever

Come on, I guess I can understand that Amaris surprised him first time, but now he should've killed the bitch... Unless you plan for Harry to forgive her, which I don't see coming.

And I agree with Dr. Strange Lulz, one torture scene was enough.

 

I know it'd be better for the story and characters if Amaris was an evil bitch, but God damn it I want a happy ending.

If you don't mind, I'll hang on to the hope that she was lying, because as a changeling she can do that I think, because she knew that Maeve was listening.

Also, why would Harry talk about losing his soul? He's pretty open about how he lost it to a Fallen.

 

I laughed and cried, you burned my dreams of hot incestuous trans-species relationships away but you did it so it still retained that quirky sense of HP humor à la Shezza.

Now I'm sort of feeling Strange Lulz's complaints here but I am very much enjoying this particular development in the plot as well. That I want HP to go back to kicking ass and taking names is a given and hopefully we won't have to wait too long for that to return. However, these torture scenes both psychological and physical amuse me. Tis' a dastardly dilemma.

 

looked

trickle

I'm not sure here, shouldn't it be 'wavy'?

If it was the 'voice' saying, shouldn't you use 'its'?


The only wrong thing in this scene I can think of its length Well, that and Michael's reaction to Meciel's declaration. Other than that everything is perfectly fine and I just can't wait for next chapter.

 

I'm just glad the woe is me torture parts seems to be over. I get that that's necessary to the plot but I've never liked the way it resets power. Atleast you only made it temporary in this fic.

 

Hasn't she already chosen?

I also can't believe Harry is being such a pussy about her. Alright she is his daughter, but she betrayed him. If it was a simple thing and not her capturing him and continually torturing them he could let her get away with it, but it is. He had his hands around her throat... who wouldn't snap it?

 

You would kill your own daughter just for revenge? Killing Amaris won't help him at all.

 

The Genderless One?

I was under the impression that Shezza was a dude since stories written by women always seem to talk about a persons feeling.

On Shezza posts it says Gender: Male so why would he lie to us.

Unless he is a she and she/he doesn't want us to think his/her stories will all be about a person's feelings.

Then again he may just WANT us to think that he is a she just to confuse us.....So he is actually a he.

Or maybe using superior woman logic he realized we thought he would be a he because it seems like a good way to confuse us.

It could also be....

~Jigokuno's head explodes from such complex thinking~

Onto a more serious note. Was Meciel in love before or was it her host that was in love and had a family? I am still confused on that matter.