Once again, no, he wasn't. Or did you miss HJ's presumption that, like Hagrid, she shares a half-giant's magical resistances? And that "He shrugs off lesser spells with ease and at least one Death Eater who thought they could bring him down with a single stunner paid the ultimate price. It is safe to assume she shares those attributes as well." (From the story).

HJ resorts to the tactics he did because a) he wasn't willing to use any of the spells that would have been illegal in one of the duels AND b) Maxime is resistant to pretty much any other direct magical attacks. That isn't the case for any of the other champions.

 

I think HJ should have just thrown a bunch of AKs. (It's like he wasn't even *trying* to win, sheesh.)

 

One of the things that also confused me is that Harry's acknowledgment of her resistance to minor spells doesn't stop him from trying almost all of them, knowing perfectly well they won't work, wasting time and energy that could be used to bring her down quicker.

 

Disarming curse... AK. Yeah pretty much the same fucking thing. There is like no middle ground.

 

Action scenes always have and always will be the same shit. The cast spells at each other, do some shields, both get their turn to do something unexpected and the whole thing is very boring.

It´s like with character description, i skip it and make up my own scene instead.

 

going "all out" would be Harry throwing a bunch of debilitating spells until the half giant was down for the count. A friendly duel and a fight with a DE are much differant.

 

Dude, if your battle scenes are better in your mind than JBern's, than write them and post them. If not... shut the fuck up.

Seriously.

 

The scene was a friendly duel between Harry and Maxime, two decent people who respect one other fighting under constrained circumstances. Even if it were a Naruto-esque epic battle between the two, complete with Chidori and Rasengan and Harry drawing on three tails of power, we as readers wouldn't be emotionally invested in the outcome since it really didn't matter in the end who won. I think Jim would may have been better served not to show the duel given how much has been written on something not especially important to the story.

Harry/Krum and Fleur/Krum are both bound to have dramatic tension since we actually do care how the battle turns out.

 

That's not what we're saying should happen, but Harry should be using better magic than he is. That doesn't have to mean more destructive, simply more creative, more talented. He should be developing his technique, personalizing and advancing it, not relying on animal conjurations and basic combat spells.

 

I love how empty the critiques were for this chapter, it was like people were looking for something to complain about. Not all scenes in a story always have to have immediate impact upon the plot nor do they need to appeal to our baser impulses.

Also, it is possible that the Maxime and HJ duel was included merely to show how magic isn't always a simple I blast you with a spell and you fall down practicality. Do you really think the elite DE's or Voldemort would fall to a disarming spell in this story? In that respect, let's look back at Barty Crouch Jr. and HJ's battle earlier in the story, resourcefulness is never a bad trait to have.

Maybe, just maybe the purpose of the duel with Maxime is to force HJ to win a duel by thinking outside the box? It wasn't a jaw dropping amazing exercise in anime wank duelling, but it wasn't a waste of words either.

Sadly what happens on this site often is criticism without real substance, and it tends to lessen the overall weight of the genuine criticism of those that actually do write when they are stated.

Chapter rating 5/5 for the character development that was a welcome sight. Also, the scene with Fleur's parents rang very true in my mind.

 

We must have read two different chapters. How was what HJ was doing thinking outside the box? He acknowledges, and knows her resistance to minor spells beforehand, and then still proceeds to use them. I can't understand the logic behind that. And then, when he does start playing for real, he uses rats and an eagle, which for some reason can affect her despite their rather meager size and toughness in comparison to someone who is in canon even larger than Hagrid. To top this out, he opts for those, and one-off, mediocre attack spells which, again, he knows will have little affect. There are any number of creative ways to have incapacitated her, even non-lethally. He knows who he's facing, and doesn't adapt his style at all to fit the situation, wasting energy on spells that he knows won't work when he could be trying to do other things like entrap, distract, trick, or immobilize her.

Also, someone once said that characters in a story shouldn't point out its weaknesses, like Voldemort in DH talking about how Harry only escapes by sheer luck, and that's exactly what Hat does with the severed head threat. It was empty, because as Hat said, if Voldemort really had any power he'd do much more. But he doesn't, so why would he do it at all. Is Jbern's Voldemort going to be the irrational type?

 

This. THis. This. If you think your shit is so good, post it or shut the fuck up.

 

Sesc = voice of reason.

On the whole, this chapter was weak, but I feel like it was supposed to be. Voldemort sending the severed head didn't seem pointless...in fact, the point was outlined quite clearly. "I can get to you when Dumbledore isn't around." Nabbing someone more important when we've established that Voldemort is weak would invite a stronger response than he's prepared for.

The HP/Maxime duel was alright. When JBern reasserted the idea of giant invulnerability to most curses, I was kinda expecting some kinky shit involving ropes and precision cutting curses on her clothes...

3/5 overall

 

mathiasgranger likes to fashion himself as the observant outsider who coolly disagrees with everyone else and who is impervious to fanboyism, ala I can see why the DLPers gobbled up Every Boy Should Have a Dog.

The duel with Maxime and the smut with Fleur were all fine. It was a suitably weak chapter, and it doesn't diminish the story at all.

 

This whole severed head thing is still bothering me, and I hope that jbern addresses it.

Canon Voldemort went out of his way to stay low-profile for an entire year even after he'd been resurrected. I don't see how Harry's competence in this story would somehow profoundly change Voldemort's behavior.

Also, since I'm still assuming that the bad guys don't know HJ's secret, wouldn't the underlying threat of sending a severed head to a 14 year old be lost on Harry? I mean sure it's shocking and gruesome, but even a very talented student like Harry supposedly is wouldn't be affected in the way many of you are suggesting by receiving the severed head of a childhood bully he knew.

14 year olds just don't pick up on that sort of thing. Sure it would be abhorrent, but it's unlikely he'd understand the implications unless someone explained them to him.

All in all it just seems incredibly random and out of place.

 

Lol what? If you can't do better shut up or get out? Your a fucing retard. Several of us pointed out the obvious and glearing faults with this chapter, thats what good critics do, we didnt go "its shit" we gave reasons and reasoning behind them. Unlike all the others here who just say its great.

I bet you Jim appreciates our feed back a lot more than yours. We're being constructive and not being irrationally nasty, you guys on the other hand are a waste of air.

Empty? Funny I thought we gave reasons why the chapter didnt workand how to make it better.

STFU and get out of my DLP.

 

You really need to stop making these mistakes when you try to insult someone.

It's called shooting yourself in the foot.

 

Must avoid taking the easy shot.

The guy was criticizing combat in fanfiction in general, not just jbern. I mean, look at this:

He simultaneously dismissed Shezza88, joe6991, jbern, the writer of Only Enemies, Apocalypso-33, Ruskbyte, and who knows who else. That's the kind of claim that warrants demands that he show he can do better.

 

I'll answer the Piers thing real quick. Peter Pettigrew spent a couple of years with Ron and Harry. He was bound to pick up things like where HJ lived during the summer. It is entirely possible that Harry may have mentioned Dudley's little gang and how Crabbe and Goyle remind him of them.

The blood protections protect the Dursleys (or at least Dudley and Petunia) so they can't go at them directly.

So why tip his hand? Well, it was just a Muggle. Other than Dumbledore, there aren't many people who really give a rat's ass about a dead muggle. It is there to send a message to Potter - one that most wouldn't get.

At the same time, it is established that Pettigrew has contacted others. LV is operating with more assets than he had in canon. He can afford to be a bit more brash.