1. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  2. DLP Writing Competition
    Topic - Master and Apprentice (or Mentor and Protege!)

    Click here for more info!
    Don't miss the due date this time Guest - it's March 13th!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

WIP The MARVELous Harry Potter by evildaystar.ca - M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Steelbadger, Mar 16, 2020.

  1. Steelbadger

    Steelbadger Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2013
    Messages:
    751
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Title: The MARVELous Harry Potter
    Author: evildaystar.ca
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure
    Status: In-Progress
    Library Category: The Alternates
    Pairings:
    Summary: After graduation Harry is accidentally sent to an alternate universe
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13011075/1/The-MARVELous-Harry-Potter

    This story is pretty good, though I am concerned it may get less good as time goes on.

    What's good, is how Harry takes to the Marvel universe. There's no immediate induction into SHIELD, nor does he miraculously run into Tony Stark in the middle of thousands of square miles of desert. After discovering his situation, he decides to become a PI, and there's a few chapters of him doing his own thing with the whole 'wizard PI' shtick. I enjoyed it, he's not been powered up from what we see in canon, really. He's no Dumbledore reborn, so using magic to smooth his way as a private investigator is actually pretty fun to read.

    What concerns me is that he's recently been caught in SHIELD's ever present tendrils, and the story is currently running through the events of the Avengers movie, with a few minor changes. I really hope that once that's done, Harry goes back to do some more PI stuff.

    The writing is decent. It's highly focused and doesn't waste words, though perhaps it tends towards being spare at times. It's descriptive without being especially evocative, but it does the job.
     
  2. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    7,658
    Location:
    The South
    Er, you gonna give us your rating mate?

    Will go check it out.
     
  3. Steelbadger

    Steelbadger Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2013
    Messages:
    751
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Derp. I rated it in stars. Think I gave it a 3/5.
     
  4. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    7,658
    Location:
    The South
    I’m going to jump on the 3/5 train with you. Maybe 3.5+ if I stretch depending on what happened and where the story goes after events of the first Avengers movie are complete.

    It’s readable. Some misspellings here and there. Writing is sparse but not too slow. That Santa chapter was weird as fuck (not in a good way).

    I feel like the Detective Agency aspect either needed to be shorter or longer. A very strange amount of time was spent on it such that (to me) it feels odd.

    Fairly standard crossover for this genre tbh, with some aspects done better than others and some worse.
     
  5. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Messages:
    69
    High Score:
    1756
    Very readable, and decently written with a few essentially unforgivable mistakes (how many times was it "Rodgers" instead of "Rogers"?) - I like this Harry, which always is a big deal for me, and mostly the MCU characters seem in character. I think it's in the official "I want to keep reading but it's not like it's amazing or anything" area.

    3/5
     
  6. CrackedMind

    CrackedMind Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2011
    Messages:
    1,158
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Jersey
    I think one of the most unforgivable sins was how many times the word fuck was used with random symbols. Every time i saw f@&k it made me want to f&@cking die.

    Like if you don’t want to curse, fine. Stories don’t need cursing just for the sake of cursing. If you are going to curse, though, just use the goddamn curse instead of pussyfooting around it. Especially when that random character used it like three times in quick succession.

    2/5, it just never really caught hold of me after that.
     
  7. morningbeauvoir

    morningbeauvoir First Year

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2015
    Messages:
    33
    Location:
    Birmingham, United Kingdom
    High Score:
    0
    I managed to read two chapters and I'm done. I could maybe look past the constant miss-spelling of the names if the dialogue wasn't terrible and the description uninspiring. Not even quarantine could make me keep going.

    2/5
     
  8. Meerkats

    Meerkats Auror

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2012
    Messages:
    669
    Location:
    London, UK
    It's a bit interesting at points and seeing Harry interacting in this world was enough to allow me to stomach the lack of quality in writing, and I even enjoyed Harry being roped in to SHIELD. But when it starts telling the same story we've all experienced many times beat by beat and even copies the dialogue from the movies, that's an absolute deal breaker. 2/5
     
Loading...