Hermione is just too bossy for her own good. If your friend was in the hospital wouldn't you come visit? Her only "involvement" is going to be either ranting about how he shouldn't be involved either, snooping where she doesn't belong, or getting caught in the cross fire of completely innocent activities gone wrong.


Harry on the other hand knows he needs to off volde. To do that he needs help. His company is a thinly veiled militia, and the mafia can help him get everything started. After volde is killed, is he supposed to just be a bum for the rest of his life? By giving him a job, commitments, and obligations
it helps make things just a little more real. Besides, it is fun, exciting, and an interesting plot device.

 

Yeah, I guess I see your point about Hermione. I just got the feeling that there was more of her lately then the plot logically required. For example, it seems to me that Ron would be more interested in getting into business with Harry, seeing how his academic career doesn't have such bright prospects as Hermione's.

As for Harry's characterization, I had guessed that it was something like that, but the problem was, I couldn't SEE. He's just going around, buying guns, forming partnerships, smuggling goods... why? We never see his motivation for doing so. Does he enjoy the life of a criminal, or is his primary motivation to train himself and find allies? It just feels the story needs more insight into his plans and motivations.

 

Ah another great update... was about to reccommend this fic, good thing I searched first. Circumvented the flames it would have generated...

 

This chapter was the turning point for the fic. Everything is finally in place (ok, mostly in place). He has a secure place to recover, friends are out of the way, allies paid off and supplied, and public support. Not everything he's done or will do makes sense, but there is a plan to explain things eventually.

For IP's benefit, Ron and Hermione are almost completely out of the way now. The new school term has started (it's hard to just show up part way through a semester), so they've joined up. Harry still lives with/near them so we will still see them, but they won't be in the plot much. I alluded to it this chapter, and we'll see it explicitly stated later, but I thought I'd throw you the bone so you aren't anxiously waiting for Herman to stick her head in and ruin everything.

 

Any chance at humerous sales calls in the future?

 

Ain't it great to have lawyers adept at finding loopholes?

 

The Cursebreakers and Warders are a different, and much smaller, group. They are much more respectable and above board. If they have any problems with the werewolves or other troops, it's likely because they are "mucle bound idiots who couldn't think their way out of a paper bag" and not a fluke of chance or birth. Or since some of them come from South Africa, it could be race related.

The only "squibs" are Ivan and the three werewolves. Likely they can handle any harrassment or hazing that comes their way from the other troops. Yelling slurs at a man who could kill you in your sleep without waking up your roommates or who could turn you into the thing you fear isn't very bright. I may not be a prejudiced bigot (depends on who you ask) but I know I wouldn't harass them.

 

Nice new chapter, and call him "Major"

Not TOO high and it gives him room to expand the unit.

 

Like I’ve said in some of my other review replies, it’s just a mark of respect and not really a title or rank. Soldiers have a certain camaraderie that you can’t just walk into. Though (with the exception of the werewolves who were hired after being in the same unit) none of them had met prior to being hired by Harry, they all knew the others were real soldiers. Right now, Harry’s a paycheck, food on the table, and a legal umbrella, but with luck (and some creative writing) he can earn their respect. The only thing he really has going for him is that he hasn’t tried to force his way into the dynamic. The troops have gotten away from him a bit (fractioning and having business on the side), but if he can prove he is a soldier and more importantly a leader he just might get them back under control before it all goes to hell. Ivan got a lot of face time this chapter because he’s a leader for one faction and pretty involved in a second. He’d make a good officer but is too wacked out for a leader.

Harry’s just too inexperienced and hasn’t really stepped forward to prove himself as a Leader. A good set of supporting characters (the werewolf alpha, Sergeant Nikolai [motorcycles and dragons, he’s got a mobility fetish], that unnamed muggleborn embassy guard, and Ivan) can mold him and the platoon into a real force. He’s still small time, but he can grow into a big fish if he just listens to his support crew. That transition can’t happen overnight, but that’s why I’ve got a sequel on the sketch pad. He’s still a long way off from being the Lord of London (or whatever mafia-like title he ends up with).

Next chapter is one I’ve been planning for a long time so lets hope I don’t ruin it.

 

Pretty good so far.

I'm not sure about dynamics of elite military units, though. Shouldn't there be some tension or competitive spirit between these four squads, like there is between different branches of every army? Aren't there ANY anti-werewolf or anti-squib bias amongst hitwizards or cursebreakers in the squad? So far, all Harry's branches seems to have been cooperating surprisingly well.

Also, wouldn't Malfoys suspect Harry's company of helping the attackers? I mean, his men perform a comprehensive analyzis of the wards and tomorrow night, there's a breakin exploiting a hole the experts haven't detected. Malfoys should be able to add two and two together pretty quickly, I think.

Still, I'm eager to see what will you do to the Malfoy manor (if there is such thing once Harry's done).