Not many people died mainly because of the Guardians. I was thinking of killing Dumbles/Flamel but everyone would've seen that from a mile away. Plus I'm too attached to them bith to kill them I did spend quite a bit of time wondering which other main character to kil but none came to mind. I did originally plan for Alex to die as well as Nott..I'll probably have Alex die in St. Mungo's. Also, there actually weren't that many Death Eaters there in the first place. sorry if I didn't get that across but there were only about 4 Death Eaters/house. Voldemorts goal was to kill Flamel while Harry was gone and take the school. More of a hit squad kind o thing than a fully blown battle.

The Power of Love ills me as well but that's life. You don't plan, you pay the consequences. He could've AK'd Tom but he needed that powerful black cloud spell to reduce Voldemort to mortal form. I mea, an AK wouldn't have killed the powered up, fully ritual-ed Voldemort now would it?

 

Yeah, I know, it turned out harsher than I intended it to be. I guess I was just dissapointed and kinda pissed off that you screwed up the story in it's very ending (the way I see it). I applogize for my harsher than neccesary language, but everything I said pretty much stands.

Meh, dunno. Like you said it, seems to me like you took an easy way out. Why write about various character training and interaction for 20 chapters and then simply forget about them in finale? Since there'll be no sequel of this story, many things will seem left unsaid.

She IS a major character, but Harry's soul-mate? Sorry, but their relationship wasn't developed enough for Harry to wake up "power of love" by thinking of her. At this point, she was barely a secret crush, not some ethernal love of Harry's life...

It just hits too close to all those Harry/Ginny luw forewer stories, where they realize at the age of 14 that they are meant for each other and that their love will conquer evil... Be honest with yourself - if you'd read a story where Harry huggs Ginny, making him fire a blinding ray of pure light that kills Voldemort, you'd say "crap!" too.

I agree, it was a great idea and very good scene.

But something like this is an event that STARTS development of relationships, not something for the last chapter. If you did this 10 chapters ago, and then gradually developed Sirius's and James's relations with Harry, from anger, over hate, over slow forgiveness, that would have been cool. Like this.... it's too late. You can't possibly wrap this subplot up in one chapter. It'd require at least 3-4 chapters of slow development for characterisation to seem logical (unless you're planning a sequel).

Ok, I accept that, but it still seems like an ad-hoc solution - one would think that Voldemort would have been aware of that and took measures to prevent that from happening. In 1000 years surely someone else must have tried to take over Hogwarts - it shouldn't have been such a big secret and surprise.

I went overboard there. I think I've seen somewhere some mention of heart-shaped something and just pretty much scrolled through that rest of that part .

Still, power of love conjuring a ring seems farfetched and after all the training you've had Harry go through... well kinda stupid and needless.

There is no power of love mentioned anywhere in the prophecy. Actually, as far as I remember, there's no prophecy in your timeline at all.

Furthermore, even if you wanted to use power of love, your solution is still very bad and unrealistical IMO. Here's what you actually did:

1) Voldemort teases Harry about killing Beatrice; not his wife of 30 years, not his soulmate... but the girl he has a crush on.

2) His hate and anger builds up... and then it somehow turns into it's very opposite - love... Something that didn't happen when his steady girlfriend Tonks was killed before his very eyes, but happens at mere mention of possible death of his secret crush.

3) The power of love awakens - by automatically conjuring a ring on his finger.

4) The power of love makes Harry say some incantation and a (not-pink, ok ok) ray of magic shoots from his ring and cancels enchantments on Voldemort.

5) Even after all this, weakened and trapped Voldemort would have killed Harry, if not for mysterious Hogwarts defense jumping to his rescue.

6) Cool execution (the only nice part IMO).

Yeah, I agree it's hard to write "the power he knows not" and not make it unfair towards Voldemort. But still, most of this don't make any sense to me. If you started building up subplots about ancient Hogwarts wards and what could power of love be, that would have been OK... not the best, but passable. But like this... it just seems like some random stuff you threw in to end the story as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Sorry, but POOR stays (of course, poor compared to your usual quality). I just think you can do a lot better than this - like strech out the fight to two chapters, finish the storylines of ALL the characters, have Harry fight Voldemort in earnest, instead of some mysterious powers jumping to his rescue.... dunno, but an ending like this ruins the whole story, thus the lowest rated chapter you've written so far.

 

That was rather brutual, but at least IP is being honest. I admitted that I wasn't particularly fond of the love thing either, but I got to hand it to you, MS for having at least written a final climactic scene. Given the number of good stories that get abandoned, most of the final battles are of fairly poor quality. And how many decent stories choked in the end? In that context, I think you didn't do too bad, though you might have not risen above the 'test' either. Mehe, thems the breaks I guess.

 

Guilty as charged. Meh, nothing gets past you I suppose. Over at ff.net, add a bit of writing flair and they lap the chapter right up, even if I'm writing complete bullshit. I guess if 4 authors say the chapter was disappointing, then I can't really write it off, the climax was indeed anticlimatic.

Anyway, you know about that new fic that's in the works IP, wouldn't you (in my position) want to end this as quickly as possible so you can start an exciting new epic? I can't fight human instinct

If I'd have planned the final battle then yeah, I would have. Well, shit's only a mistake if you learn from it and I will never again not plan the finale...

Uh oh. Ergh, what have I done? I've got an army of H/G lovers on my back now... "it was beautiful, I cried" "oh my God, JK couldnt have done it better" "please make a fluffy sequel" "ooh will you write a sequel with little Harry and Ginny?" Damn, I hope I haven't disappointed too many of my regulars...

 

*Takes a giant dump and pisses on it and calls it a fanfic.*

JK couldn't have done it better.

 

Yeah, I see what you mean. Like many ppl said, at least it's admirable you managed to force yourself to finish writing something you didn't feel like writing... not many authors seems to be able to do that, thus heaps of abandoned stories in fandoms.

Yeah, I've seen the reviews.

FFN readers seems to be completely useless as a sounding-board for receiving constructive criticism - it's either "luv it update soon!1!!" or flame.

Meh, I guess many authors are throwing fits or stop writing if the reviews aren't good enough - FFN readers are pretty much trained to glorify each story in hope that the author will keep writing. Personally, I also never leave way too negative reviews on FFN, so I guess I shouldn't be the one pointing finger...

 

I have a small handful of decent reviewers that actually give good feedback, but yeah, about nine out of ten are the 'OMG GREAT CHAPPIE UPDATE SOON~!1!!!!!' type. Sometimes the occasional flame, but those people come off as so stupid that I can't take them seriously. I get better comments here for my HP works.

 

Very true. If it weren't for this site, ff.net would've turned me into the most arrogant, self-important bastard... *shudder* so yeah, thank dlp fo that. No offense to others, but I usually only ever think I've done a good chapter when other good authors (e.g. oldNick, Shezza, nonjon, Sera, IP etc.) say so. I know that I'm ridiculously over critical when reviewing and I can only imagine that other authors are the same.

 

Glad to see you can take the criticisms for what they are.

And I won't reiterate what I and others have said. But for all your experience as a writer, it's still the first time you've finished a fic from what I can tell. And just like starting a fic, that is something different you learn from as you go. Not to mention you took over this fic from Egyptian Flame, so it wasn't even completely your baby. Just an adopted one, the way adopted parents pretend they love the kid as much. (yes you adopted kids, we all know the *real* truth.) Finishing off a fic that you've lost interest in, which happens as you start getting ideas for other fics, or wanting to move on is not an easy thing. You just want it over and done with.

And for all the climaxes faults, I still prefer it over an abandoned unfinished fic which would be the easy way out, not the right one. (/me just rolled his ten-sided die and got +7 complete dork points for that comment) The epilogue will undoubtedly smooth out complaints once we see more reaction about killing Moony, how James and Sirius respond. Maybe some more explanation on what exactly happened with the wards, the power of lub, and all the little Harry and Beatrice munchkins they squirt out over the next twenty years. Or not.

Who knows, maybe in a little while you'll have an impulse to rewrite the last few chapters to appease all the DLPer's complaints. Doubtful, but not impossible. But even still, just finishing a fic you learn more about what it takes to keep your desire to write going. Sometimes you need to have the finale nearly written before you reach the halfway point, sometimes you may want to leave it all open and decide later etc...

Just wanted to reiterate the congratulations on finishing one up, as that to me is what distinguishes really good authors from great ones. I won't call anyone great until I've seen a complete story, not just a great start. Because sometimes those great starts lead towards only average conclusions if they lead anywhere.

 

Wow looking back at the past post's it's hard to find something that hasn't been said all ready so i guess you'll have to live with only praise from my self. Congrats go out to you Master Slytherin on successfully completing the fic, not many can boast such a claim especially a dark independent Harry fic. *takes hat off and bows to you* looking forward to your Epilogue. Fuck those filthy little Harry/Ginny shippers dont decrade yourself and write that shit, you now have a reputaion to up hold.

 

OMG GREAT CHAPPIE UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
thats all i have to say..

 

Why even bother. . .

Anyway, not a bad chap. Keep 'em coming.

 

If you can't be bothered to read the rules, then I'm not going to be bothered by your post.

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uh Mate dont you think your avatar is just a teensy little bit to big?

 

Epilogue: Other Side of Hell is up!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2508076/24/

Please read and review (even though I don't deserve it after such a long delay)

 

Nice man just read it I love it lily yealls at adult harry after giving birth to baby harry

 

Fitting ending for the story, though the chapter was a bit on the short side, but that's just me.

 

FINALLY ITS finished.

So sad its over
I liked the lilly yells at Harry part as well

 

Fitting ending for the story.

 

Congratuations Master Slytherin you finished a story that was awesome from beginning to end, my respect for you knows no bounds as you trucked along and didn't give up. Fitting ending i suppose, i maybe would have liked it to be a bit longer and possably a bit more details into the things that have hapened and maybe will happen? Fuck it well done again...