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WIP The Ward by ketren - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Jordi, Jun 18, 2018.

  1. Jordi

    Jordi Squib

    Jan 17, 2014
    Compostela, Spain
    Title: The Ward
    Author: ketren
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Drama
    Status: Work in Progress (about 18,000 words)
    Summary: Gen, AU. In 1980, Voldemort won. Harry's parents and their allies fled to live safely in total isolation. But 15 years later, when a wounded Bellatrix breaches the walls of their sanctuary, Harry realizes his parents haven't told him everything - and to save those he loves, he'll have to face whatever destiny awaits him in the world beyond.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12885827/1/The-Ward

    Read this today, it only has three chapters but it was enough to keep me interested. Nice long chapters, barely any mistakes, good grammar and a nice setting, which reminded me a little of Gormenghast. The premise might be a bit contrived, but it's easy to overlook with a bit of suspension of disbelief. The crazed Voldemort part gives me a bit of a bad trope vibe though.
    So far I rate it at a 3.5/5 for its good writing and original idea, if it keeps at this level I will rate it higher.
  2. Johnnyseattle

    Johnnyseattle Death Eater DLP Supporter

    Oct 25, 2011
    You know, this is actually pretty good. I haven't really seen another story with this premise, but it's intriguing - the world he's built feels cool, and the characters are pretty well done so far. Still very early, and we'll have to see if it keeps its luster after they get back into the real world, but I'm definitely looking forward to more of it.
  3. Dystopian Destiny

    Dystopian Destiny Fourth Year

    May 5, 2018
    Bellatrix Lestrange was not quite how I thought she would be, a promising work nevertheless!
    Sounds a bit like Ron here. To be fair, there are very few fanfics in which Bellatrix is not a fervent Death Eater or a very posh person(outside DE circles).
    I'll wait some more before I review.
  4. Snapdragon

    Snapdragon Banned

    Sep 7, 2014
    This is interesting and worth checking out.
  5. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

    Nov 12, 2014
    Agreed, this could really be something in the future. To be honest, it already is the best start of a fic I've had the pleasure to come across recently. Maybe it's a little early - it most definitely is - but the ingredients for a fascinating story are all there.
    The premise is something I haven't quite seen like that, and although I think it's flawed beyond belief, it will make for a very compelling story if executed well.

    And: The author is executing it very well up till now.

    Of course, it's very unrealistic that Voldemort would use some place he can't control to kill his most fierce enemies instead of doing it himself.
    Of course, it's very unrealistic that a Voldemort that reached levels of insanity not even Bellatrix could cope with would be able to stay in power.
    Of course, it's very unrealistic that James, Lily, etc would just assume he'd abandoned this place where he previously hid everything he didn't want to have in his land, and told some stupid lies about "monsters" to their children.
    Of course, the Nundu attack is awfully convenient.

    But if you are able to see past that - and I honestly think even what little is there now is worth looking past that - there is the beginning of a very good story here for you, well written too. It's really good at building tension, focusing on the interesting aspects and fast and exciting development.

    So give it a shot!

    Tentative 4/5, but will refrain from rating until later. After all, the author's reliance on contrived story development could become irritating if he continues to do so.
  6. letalis nex

    letalis nex Muggle

    Jul 22, 2018
    So far, if the author keeps going as they have been, I believe this should make the library easily. The only problems I have with the story so far are minor and more 'personal preferences' in nature and as such do not bring the rating down as much imo. To be honest just the fact that ketren came up with such a novel idea makes this better than 99% of stuff out there that is not only trash but is the same shit with a different title.

    I agree but this is an AU so while it is unrealistic, until the story is finished or a reason is given in story it is hard to tell if these things might make sense in this universe so I am withholding judgment until we see how the author handles things. Just fyi I am totally ignoring the authors note in the first chapter talking about cannon to make this theory work.

    Now to talk about things I did not care for as much.
    The main one being the specializing of magic to each kid. Why? how did Lupin find the time to teach each one of them a whole different branch of magic with no books nor the ability to show them how the spells worked?

    How did everyone survive at first without magic to protect them from nundus, dementors, and Lupin as a werewolf? to be fair this is not really a dislike yet but I believe this will be almost impossible to answer without being very unrealistic.

    The magic of a wizard being bound is not an idea I have ever been particularly fond of in the harry potter universe as it seems incompatible to the magic shown in the books.

    All of that said it is still too early to rate but I am currently leaning toward 4.5/5 rounded up or down according to how things play out in the story.
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2018
  7. CareOtters

    CareOtters Supreme Mugwump DLP Supporter

    Jun 8, 2010
    Early days yet, but this is a really interesting AU. There's a cool array of magical creatures, and just enough of a mystery behind the situation we see to make us crave more details.

    The author posted another update since this thread was created, so I'm hoping it stays alive.

    I can't say I'm overly keen on the idea of magic being bound - of that being possible at all - but it's not done badly so far. I like that Harry's generation are shown to be competent, too, as well as how the canon adults like Molly Weasley have adapted to a role in the Ward which mirrors their personalities.

    There's a nice sense of community here so far, and that's something we miss out on in the wizarding world sometimes due to its scattered nature. Here, the characters have been condensed into a single location, and have formed correspondingly tighter bonds.

    My rating may very well increase later.

  8. momo

    momo Groundskeeper

    Jan 19, 2017
    Your Mother's Basement
    High Score:
    Just read all four chapters and man I'm impressed. The world building here is really solid and I actually find myself enjoying Bellatrix's character. She's basically at her weakest right now, bound and tied and begging for help but still retains enough of her own character to influence Harry's mind.

    The ideas behind this story are simply impressive and I think this is the first fic I have read in all of my years of reading fanfiction that has a dystopian post-war society after Voldemort wins that is actually good.

    And god, I love the original order in this.

    5/5 for now, simply because I'm excited to see where this goes.

    Sad part is, it hasn't been updated for a month and a half. :( Time to drop a review that says "pls write moar". Lmfao
  9. TheLazyReader

    TheLazyReader Groundskeeper

    Feb 9, 2018
    I like it. Interesting AU with a good idea. I'm not that much of a fan of the original order as the author seems to be, and there is a lot of stuff that requires us to suspend our disbelief and push forward, like:


    There's also the idea of depletable magic that makes me wrinkle my nose, but it wasn't so badly done yet. Bellatrix's character also feels a bit off, but I'm willing to let it slide because this one didn't go to Azkaban. There's also the matter that Harry and the kids don't really feel like people who grew up in an isolated world without knowing the outside. Why do they even know the word stranger if for them everyone that exists is right there?

    I would have spent at least four chapters describing the life in the Ward and building up the mystery of the outside world, but the world-building is good and engaging as it is. The writing is also competent and the characterization is okay. And if I'm right and Harry is about the embark on an adventure on the outside together with Bellatrix, I'm very much looking forward to learning what happened to the world and people outside.

    Right now 4/5, that can go to 2/5 if the author introduces magical cores, but can also go 5/5 if they can make it feel like a real adventure.