1. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice

WIP The Wizard Who Meddled With Time by Team Ozone

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by IBG, Oct 19, 2015.

  1. syed

    syed Supermod

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2011
    Messages:
    944
    I can see them Maine Sirius guilty, learn their names and family. Visiting their graves, apologizing, helping out their families potentially.
     
  2. LJordan

    LJordan Muggle

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    High Score:
    0
    I like the premise of the story. At one point you get to the point where every cliche is only ever done the same way, so a fresh perspective can be cool. So that's a plus.
    Another plus (for me at least) is the humor. At times, it actually makes you laugh. Even if you don't laugh, you mostly read those parts with a smile on your face. And let's be real, sometimes you need a story to do just that - put a smile on your face.
    Another plus in the originality column is the Sirius issue - yes, the author took it out of canon. So what? He's interesting! It's a twist!
    Right, now for the bad parts - tooo long winded, sometimes you feel like you're reading and reading and you get nowhere. I don't necessarily mean that it should have more action, just that it might do with less filling.
    For me, a solid 3,5/5
     
  3. jojo

    jojo Squib

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6
    High Score:
    0
    It seems like there are many different rules regarding time-travel in fics. Not sure whether I like the change the future ones or the future is set model
     
  4. Ghosthree3

    Ghosthree3 Unspeakable DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2012
    Messages:
    775
    Location:
    Australia
    There are no rules. Just good ideas, bad ideas, and cliché ideas.
     
  5. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    226
    The Wizard Who Meddled With Time has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 9
    Words: 93,549
    Updated: 2018-08-22 19:46:14 UTC
    Published: 2015-08-02 01:07:24 UTC
    Previously updated: almost 3 years ago
    New Summary:
    Terrible things happen to wizards who meddle with time. When that wizard is Harry Potter, the terrible things tend to happen to other people instead. Fourth Year. Time Travel.

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  6. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    6,384
    Location:
    Mississippi
    I didn't want to leave concrit in an ffnet review, and since this just got bumped by Xion anyway...

    Just got to Chapter 8 and your Author's Note is meta, man.
    Sort of how I'm feeling too, I guess? It's not that nothing has happened in the story yet but it feels like not much has happened.

    Harry went back in time. He's done some basic horcrux stuff, made a deal with the centuars, created a wand, spent time working on his friendships with various people (some of which are different), played with the press, etc.

    Put like that, it seems like a lot has happened. But honestly it feels to me like we're spinning our wheels and have been almost the whole story so far. There's almost no suspense and nothing for Harry to currently be striving towards since his current goal requires him to wait around for a few months.

    It's well-written, clever, and incorporates great tidbits like Betsie the not-goat. But it feels like filler. Sorry but 3.5/5 from me. Gotta finish the last chapter before deciding to round up or down.
     
  7. Johnnyseattle

    Johnnyseattle Death Eater DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2011
    Messages:
    939
    Location:
    Cascadia
    (psst, read the next chapter)
     
  8. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    6,384
    Location:
    Mississippi
    I did @Johnnyseattle - I also read the last chapter available on ffnet, where the author admits that the story is not a fantastic piece of writing. Still significantly better than most of the stories on ffnet, but I rounded down to 3/5.

    As for Chapter 8 though - it starts off with more of that feeling that nothing is happening, despite the fact that they're off to grab the diadem. For all the suspense involved they might as well have stopped off for a sandwich somewhere. That would be fine except it's been an entire story of that same feeling, and if there wasn't going to be any suspense it could have been 9k instead of 90k to get to this point.

    Then there were some shenanigans with Fred and George and I finally got bored and started skimming. Checked back in and saw more humor with dog!Sirius, jokes about Harry seducing Snape, etc.

    There was a really neat bit about Harry being able to make a one-spell wand for someone, as his wand-making abilities for anyone save himself are rather limited, and that was a neat concept that could be explored further, especially if that one-spell becomes easier than normal to cast, etc.

    CareOtters is a damned fine writer from what I can recall of his other work. He's a phenomenal beta. This story is "good" but it's not great in my opinion, for all that the writing is technically sound and the ideas are fun.

    Edit: In hindsight by "read the last chapter" you might not have meant the last chapter but rather the "chapter 9" that isn't really a chapter. My bad if so.
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2019
Loading...