1. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  2. DLP Writing Competition
    Topic - Master and Apprentice (or Mentor and Protege!)
    Click here for more info!
    Don't miss the due date Guest - it's March 13th so there's just one month left, lez go!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

WIP Their Verdict of Vagaries by Angstier -T

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Totty94, Mar 19, 2013.

  1. Totty94

    Totty94 Squib

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2013
    Messages:
    7
    Title: Their Verdict of Vagaries
    Author: Anstier
    Rating: T
    Genre: Romance/Angst
    Status: WIP (77 Chapters, almost 570,000 words)
    Library Category: Restricted /The Alternates
    Pairings: Harry/Tom Riddle
    Summary: "All who fall under your gaze become accused of a silent crime… and I am yet to understand why." -Riddle. Gray!Harry lost in love and misery. Redemption, betrayal, Death Eaters, Dumbledore & the story of Grindelwald. Voldemort's rise to power. HP/TMR
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5356546/1/Their-Verdict-of-Vagaries

    This story can be very difficult to get through. Especially now that it has reached such an epic length. There are times that things get confusing or difficult to follow, however I feel this story fits the DLP Theme because Harry goes back in time and begins the slow accent into becoming a dark lord. He is in the same school year, and house, as Tom Riddle and thus joins him on his quest to becoming a great dark lord.<O:p</O:p

    The author uses exquisite grammar and has a very unique idea. I don't feel like the story has the acclaim that it could, but it does get very difficult to follow due to the time jump.<O:p</O:p

    I am also not a huge fan of the slash in the story, but it is kept within reason, does not ever really get sexually graphic, and is hidden from the community at large. Therefore, while the relationship between Tom and Harry has a major effect on the story line, it is not as if the story could not exist without it.

    My recommendation is if you can get into the story, and keep yourself from getting confused, the story is well worth the read. I do however feel that after about five to eight chapters the reader can accurately judge how they feel and rate it accordingly. I've kept up with it so far, but it is getting harder and harder to remember everything that has happened due to the mass quantity of reading and the length of time between updates.<O:p</O:p

    I give the story a 4.5/5 because of the excellent grammar, strong themes, and good (if slow) plotline.
     
  2. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2011
    Messages:
    176
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    High Score:
    3,164
    I tried reading this a while ago and it's incredibly tedious and pretentious. Harry's a fucking pussy who has no effect whatsoever on anything.
     
  3. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
    Messages:
    368
    Location:
    Englandshire
    High Score:
    5,725
    The first two chapters completely failed to grasp me. Little to no hook at all.

    You're correct, the grammar is excellent. That doesn't warrant inclusion in the library, as its completely secondary to such things as being interesting to read.

    2/5
     
  4. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    657
    Location:
    Australia.
    High Score:
    3694
    Totty, I strongly recommend checking out the Library and getting a better feel for the level of fiction we enjoy here before you submit further stories for consideration.
     
  5. Vegemeister

    Vegemeister Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2007
    Messages:
    260
    Location:
    Texas
    The author seems to want to retcon away Harry's infatuation with Ginny and lusting after Cho in canon. Why can't he just be bi?

    The romance is also painfully dense and fluffy. If the rest of it is anything like the first 90,000 words, there won't be much room left for plot.
     
  6. R. Daneel Olivaw

    R. Daneel Olivaw Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2013
    Messages:
    342
    Location:
    Yuen Long
    I did not like the story. Harry's choices make almost no sense whatsoever and the author seems to railroad him into the relationship he wants to make happen. The pace is incredibly slow and the story is not engaging enough to make me want to read any further. Even skipping ten chapters ahead at a time, the story remains uninteresting.

    The writing itself is good. The author uses decent descriptive language and did not make any serious grammar gaffes that I noticed. Combined with a better plot and more believable characterization, the writer could do well.

    For me, the worst part of this story was that Harry and everyone else's perspective was that of what the author would think looking at things from the outside. I give it a 2.5, but I'll round up since it seems everyone else is rounding down. :)
     
  7. Ennead

    Ennead Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2012
    Messages:
    200
    It's an ambitious fic focusing on (from what I've seen) a rarely-covered topic: Voldemort's rise to power. Starting from Riddle's 7th year to (currently) the midst of the first war, that's a good 40 years of stuff. And the author covers ALL OF IT. Though the time frame for the story does span decades, it's only with the very latest chapter that any real conflict between the two main characters has occurred. So one of the biggest faults of the story is its pacing, due to a premise with a critical weakness. It's time-traveling Harry, except all of his real problems--like the Prophecy, his own birth--doesn't happen until much later after his arrival. Everything else before 1980 then seems like the longest prologue ever, too much to read through for the real story to happen.

    But, for the most part, I think the author does a decent job explaining Voldemort's escalation into violence, and the development of his powerbase with both Dark wizards and restricted magical creatures. Riddle's characterization was well-done, because it's pretty clear that underneath his charm and intelligence and looks is...a psychopath. There is zero romanticization of his very flawed personality.

    OTOH, Harry has his head up his ass for the vast majority of the fic, and his character is so weak in conviction and morality that it's frustrating. He's the least likable person in the story, even with a remorseless murdering Voldemort right next to him. The story is told from his perspective so the narrative is also fairly confusing...to reflect his state of mind, I guess? The author takes it a bit too far though, and confuses the reader too.
     
  8. Kari Black

    Kari Black DA Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Messages:
    168
    Location:
    12 Grimauld Place, London
    The biggest problem I have with this story is the pace. It drags a lot, and she chose to cover too long a time span. I like this Voldemort, and the politics and formation of the Death Eaters would probably be really awesome if it weren't drawn out so much. The technical writing aspects are good--excellent grammar and word choice. But the plot being so drawn out, and Harry's characterization are real issues. 3/5 for me. It's not so bad if you have A LOT of time to kill, but not library worthy.
     
  9. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2008
    Messages:
    111
    Right. I've read 30 chapters of this so far.

    What's right with it...Tom Riddle is actually interesting, and the premise is unique, though it is a slash fic the slash is kept to a minimum, and it covers a time period that isn't commonly written about--Voldemort's rise to power. Also the writing style and grammar usage isn't god awful (which is always a +1 to me--seriously illiterates who attempt to write fanfiction need to be burned at the stake or something).

    What's wrong with it...Harry is a god-damned pussy, the relationship seems contrived and not very believable, and the pace is too damn slow. Seriously it seems like the longest prologue ever.

    Over all I'd give it a 3/5. Its neither good nor terrible.