I would guess that Flitwick is probably among the ten as well.

 

Moody "might" have been able to. I hope we see more of those other power house wizards, good or bad guys :cheers:

 

MOody wasn't as Kingsley was more powerful than him. Okay so let's give Kingsley and Flitwick (something I doubt as Flitwick would have been a HIGH priority for Dumbledore to get to join the Order of the Phoenix considering his power and half-goblin lineage and the influence that lineage might have with Gringotts.)

But let's say we count Flitwick AND Kingsley (Shack seems more reasonable to me, but then the battle should have been closer, but I guess we chalk that up to inexperience... :? )


Still we only have 1. Flitwick, 2. Shack, 3. Harry, 4. Voldemort, 5. Dumbles, and 6. Bella


Who are these 4 other people, and why have they been able to stay neutral for so long? How are they NOT playing a larger role in the war? It seems like VOldemort would view them as a threat and if they didn't join him (like Bella) he would just kill them. Surely Voldemort CAN'T be unaware of who these people are, is he? Are his resources that bad? And if Voldemort knew he was facing two of the best fighters in the UK in Moody and Shack, then his attitude and fighting seemed rather glib and foolish. He should have tried to use them as imperioed servants if they were so powerful. And don't say imperioed people can't cast spells, because Crouch Jr. was able to make Krum cast Crucio in the maze of Triwizard tournament (probably Sr. too considering how long that guy was imperioed for). Also, as much as I hate it, Draco and his Imperio of Madam ROsmerta is further evidence.

I'm chalking this to jumping the shark. If this was planned, then I'll be VERY pleased and surprised, but right now, I'm just going to consider this a fuck-up.

 

Hmmm I don't think that Flitwic has any influence on goblins. Farther I think they kind of hate him cause he is a half-breed to them. They hate humans remember?

Also I think McGonnagal could be on the ten. Lucius could too.
Maybe Snape.

 

You're putting too much emphasis on single sentence. This could be the same thing as 7-8 animagi in the century, only reversed - I don't think rich purebloods would mind terribly to be labeled as extra powerful...

As for Harry using Crucio, I think it's pretty clear what his idea was - he had an unique opportunity to practice unforgiveables on living creatures, without receiving any punishment. I think that was the whole idea with him using Crucio, instead of plucking Vampire's pubes or something like that...

 

Myst - I put a thanks in for you at the end of the ff post for helping me to get around the document manager problem. Thanks again!

Chuck - I fixed Rufus seeing the Portkey. Bad oversight on my part. I will fix the version on Ficwad tonight.

As for Susan's relationship with Harry, I continue to admit my struggles, but I dislike the angsty romance fics that drag things on for chapter after chapter. She had a decision to make. The same drive to stop Voldy brought him into her life is the same thing that caused him to use an unforgivable to save Bill and torture a Vampire into revealing his reason for being there. Just as Harry is insisting that he keep an eye on Coedus, Susan is going to be keeping an eye on Harry, lips and tongue as well. I will write some more later when I do the author's notes.

Jim

PS - IP "plucking the Vamps pubes!" OWWWWWWW!

 

Was no problem, only did would another dlp member did when i had that problem. Always glad to help.


I sorta like that you're not angsting over romance, it is annoying.

 

As for the other 5 level 5's, maybe Dolohov? We don't really know that much about him but i found the curse he put on Hermoine in OOTP fairly impressive.

As for Susan; maybe she can keep a diary or journal that details her suspicions about harry going dark, you know, for future reference. That could also help and develop another fight down the rode when harry finally finds it. That would go completly against the whole "we love each other and never fight" theme that most authors tend to use.

 

Well here is what I was thinking when I wrote chapter 12.

Scene 1 - Why does Bella always have to be killed by either Harry or Neville? I guess most authors go for the symbolism that she toruted Nev's parents or was responsible for Sirius's death. Having Tonks kill her was a nice change from the norm. I also had the opportunity to do a little riff on the Wizard of Oz which was pretty cool. I forgot to mention that two of Tonk's lines were quotes from the Wizard of Oz. Wonder if I need to put that in the disclaimer.

I have been getting very positive reviews on my use of Sturgis the Hamster Animage. I plan to keep him around for awhile.

Scene 2 - With the initial part I was trying to present the shock of war on the masses. Scrimgeour is in a position to have the information at his disposal and the knowledge of what it may do to the populace. I am probably taking him a bit ooc by making him more of a thinker. Though his surly disposition remains.

The loss of 50 lives does not sound significant until you look at the percentages. Out of 20000, 50 is only .25 percent. However if .25 percent of Britain's population (estimated last July at 60 Million) were to die overnight it would be 150,000 dead!

As characters with their own agendas enter the story, it will be interesting to see how Harry deals with them. How would Harry deal with the idea of a Secret prison for death eaters? It sounds like a wonderful idea and its a good bet the general populace will go for it initially, but there is room for gross abuse. Its easy to draw parallels to prison in Cuba, but I will check my personal politics at the door. The problem Harry may face is that if he backs Scrimgeour to the hilt, he may be helping to fabricate a police state.

I have been rather surprised at the debate over the list of powerful witches and wizards in Britain. The scene was inserted primarily as a reason for Scrimgeour to seek out Harry. The next reason was to reinforce that Harry is a powerful wizard, but there are others out there too. For the record, I never considered Moody, Shacklebolt or Flitwick to be among these. Here I believe you guys are mistaking training and skill for raw power. So if you want to have a discussion on it, I will list some of the names off. Voldy, Harry and Dumbles are a given. A couple of 'neutral names' Ollivander and Nick Flammel. Snape is there as well (another reason for the tug of war between Voldy and Dumbles). I have made several references to the longstanding relationship between Voldy and Antonin Dolohov. He was able to cast a near lethal curse when silenced by Hermione. Bellatrix and Amelia Bones was also a formidable powers. Voldy did bring two dozen inferi, Snape, Rudolpus Lestrange and four other death eaters to take care of her for a reason. That's 9 names. There may be more, but those are the only ones Rufus knows about. (The implication here is that Neville has the unrealized potential - after all if you buy the whole prophecy spiel then Neville would have to have the potential for this level of raw power.)

Lucius Malfoy can't be on this list. I'm sorry but if you get your ass handed to you by Dobby the House Elf you don't qualify end of story. Why then were Lucius and Bella serving as Voldy's left and right hands instead of Antonin? They are English Purebloods. He is from the Baltic states. Dolohov knows his 'real' place and plays his part well.

Scene 3 - IP82 helped again by telling me the original version of this scene read with all the excitement of a court transcript. The final version is much better. Originally the Umbridge flashback was near the beginning of the scene and the reader knew as soon as Harry used the killing curse that nothing bad was going to come of it. Having it at the end added a little suspense to the chapter and made it flow better.

A few of you guys have taken me to task on Susan. She's been through alot in the last day, she's got it bad for Harry and she intends to keep a close eye on him to prevent him going dark. Yes she is worried about it. How could she not be?

As for Harry sending Coedus to Susan's house, he knows that Dumbles uses portraits to spy on people. He couldn't risk bringing the vampire to #12 and didn't just want to release him. Sending him to Bones Manor was the best solution available at the time.

Finally, I thought it was amusing to actually have Harry use something that Delores Umbridge taught him to save his behind. I write alot of scenes simply because they amuse me.

Next chapter - The political dealings start. More uncomfortalbe times at #12. Harry will see Dumbledore, but there may not be a reckoning until the following chapter. Expect Voldemort to be rather displeased with what happended to the Wicked Witch of the East and I already plan on a nice insane Peter scene.

Jim

 

Ive always pictured Flammal as the Hermione type. Book smart, but not much raw magical power to back it with, but its your story.

Can't wait for the next chapter and I enjoy the summeries you post here.


/Myst

 

That's what I thought about his wife. He did have the raw power to construct a ridiculously powerful artifact with Dumbledore's assistance.

I always wondered why JKR had Olivander disappear at the beginning of HBP. I went with that and him personally disposing of Amelia. Like I said alot of my stories ideas start with 'I wonder why' or 'What if?'

Jim

 

Yeah, but by making them all so powerful you really diminish Harry somewhat. Ollivander we have NO evidence of. Flammel also created the Philospher's stone alone. He seems more like a geek. We don't here of Flamel doing any great battles. He's known for "alchemy" and finding the 12 uses of Dragon's Blood with Albus. Either way, Flamel's dead so he's a non-factor. (Albus said he had "enough time to get his affairs in order," at the end of book 1. That's a summer. A year at MOST.)

By making so many people powerful, you raise some questions, and also reduce the power of Albus and Voldemort. We've seen Albus and Voldemort. Albus is the only one Voldemort ever feared. If there are this many people who can do level 5's then what is the standing of Harry, Albus, and Voldemort, because they are considered the best (Albus maybe because of knowledge and skill rather than Raw power.)

Anyway, I love your story, so I don't want to nitpick. The power issue is ultimately minor. The Susan thing was a bigger problem for me, but, eh, what can you do?

KEEP IT UP!!

 

Well remember just because they are capable of performing a powerful spell does not necessarily make them a powerful warrior.

With so many stories out there where Flammel gave Dumbles a fake, can you be certain that Flammel is actually dead?

People are powerful for different reasons. Like Voldemort said back in chapter 5, there is power and control. If you have enough power you take control. If you have enough control the power comes naturally. People like Harry may be powerful on the battlefield, but hopelessly outclassed in the political arena against someone like Scrimgeour. (Maybe we will see Narcissa come back!)

Without tipping my hand too much, there are some interesting things coming down the pipeline in this story. I continue to work on the Harry and Susan relationship. Harry is going to have to stretch his political wings.

Like I said earlier Susan realizes that her early fight with Harry was trivial. She is very worried about Harry. Continuing to confront him in the prescence of a vampire was counterproductive. She remembers Bill's warning from last chapter that pushing him might drive him into Ginny's or someone elses arms. Also, she has it bad for Harry. Love has a way of blinding you.

Jim

 

Okay, but she should mention later on. Just ask him WHY he felt it was necessary to use Crucio. Not if it was LEGAL, but WHY?

Last thing, I'm concerned that your story may be (NOT maybe) moving too slowly. Afterall, less than a day has past. I love your story, and I'd hate to see it turn into one of those cliche "endless summer" fics.


Ultimately, Hogwarts will start again. Whether Harry returns or not will be up to you, but I do feel that we should get a move on, otherwise it could get rather stale retreading the same ground (this hasn't been an issue yet, but just in case, I thought I ought to mention it.)


but yeah. And PLEASE don't involve Flamel. That has become so tired and old. Its like adding another Dumbledore to the mix, and raises questions about the guy like WHERE THE FUCK HAS HE BEEN!!

He's really unneccessary at this point. What Flamel offers as a character is a cheap, easy way for Harry to get alternative knowledge other than the stuff offered at HOgwarts. It becomes instant "I will guide and enlighten you, Harry." RATHER than Harry learning things and making the journey on his own.

Unless you intend to have him as a back-up character who shows up, like Sturgis, which is fine, but the guy is too prominent, and casts too large a shadow. PLEASE don't include Nicholas, he'll just be a distraction.

I know it seems like I'm overreacting, but I've seen other EXCELLENT stories thrown off track by implementing this cliche.

 

Yeah, I am annoyed at taking 4 chapters to cover 1 day. Next thing you know it will be chapter 75 Back to School. I want to use a line like "For the rest of the week, Harry concentrated on training and cementing his budding relationship with Susan."

Unfortunately, that line isn't anytime soon. The Wizengamot has to appoint a minister. Harry and Dumbles have to have it out. Certain discoveries must be made. There's an ambush in two days. The earliest I forsee myself using that line is late in chapter 14. Hell it isn't eve Harry's birthday yet.

No plans for Flammel. I've got enough characters for now. Sturgis is going to try and teach Harry and others animagery.

Susan will have to work hard at keeping Harry from drifting into the dark. I have a story thread coming up that I haven't seen before. Like Harry's other forays into dark magic it will have a good reason, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Jim

 

Maybe you can have harry battle dd politically battle, win some supporters or something..
So susan is going to act like as that chick in starwars that tries and save the future darth vadar from becoming evil..

 

Maybe you can have harry battle dd politically battle, win some supporters or something..
So susan is going to act like as that chick in starwars that tries and save the future darth vadar from becoming evil..

 

Is there an...

ETA on the next update Jim?

Treck

 

Tomorrow. Maybe late tonight at the earliest. Its over 11,000 words and only covers about the next 12 hours of Harry's life. Sigh! Oh well, my goal is to write a chapter where I can use the phrase "For the rest of the week ..." but I am guessing it will be about chapter 15 that I can do that.

There is some good interaction and yet another concept that I have never seen before in fanfiction.

Jim

Oh what the heck - its done. I just posted it. Gimme a sec and my author notes will be up.

 

Author's notes Chapter 13

Alright here are my author's notes for chapter 13.

Scene 1 - I've been getting complaints that Hannah and her sister (bad joke!) are a bit Mary Sueish. A few have wondered why they are even around. Well here is your answer. From the books we know that Hannah is a rather high strung individual. I decided to make her something of an empath to explain alot of this. One of my plot bunnies that was modified to fit into this story was that Harry thanks Hannah for defending his name during the CoS, and they end up dating in the third year. I couldn't make it work out to my interest, but the idea crept into the story as an almost occurence.

I hope you enjoyed my take on Occulmency. I know Chuck's posts have mentioned Harry's training needs. Once again my chapter only manages to cover a whopping 12 hours, but at least he is making some headway on getting trained. Harry's core shield is a massive and crude thing that eats up alot of his magic. It does its job rather well. What he needs to do is learn how to make it function more efficiently to allow him to use more of his magic for combat. Hopefully this explains to you why Harry's "Wild Magic" is so powerful, yet his regular spell casting is normal. So why did Snape only show him a little Occulmency? Stay tuned for that answer. It may surprise you.

Anyway, Hannah and Chelsea are opposites. Hannah is very exciteable, while her sister is calm and collected. It reflects their talents. One is at the mercy of everyone elses mood swings and the other can choose to be the life of the party or a party pooper and project that affecting everyone else.

Other stories have Occulmency amulets, my version of a mind shield is meant to protect against casual contact. Not intended for mental combat. (Makes you wonder if the Wizarding World was forced to place product disclaimers on their goods how would they read? Might make a funny series of one shots, with one of the anal types like Percy or Hermione working for the ministry in a department where they have to design the warning labels. Poly Juice - For Oral use only. Not for rectal use. Manufacturer does not warrant against unintended transformations due to sample collection errors. Manufacturer denies all resposibility for misuse of this product to perform any illegal acts while using this product or in the sample collection process. Do not use or store near open flames. Do not use while on fire. Do not use on an animagus while in their transformed state. Do not use if you are pregnant or may become pregnant.) You get the idea - it could be hilarious if done right.

I would be willing to bet if Harry hadn't declared that Susan and he were dating, that Molly wouldn't have lashed out as much as she did. Wouldn't want to spoil her daughter's chances. I think having Molly and Harry get into a hex fest would be ooc for both of them. In her eyes Harry is the same little boy who had to ask her how to get on the platform when he was 11. He needs to let the adults think for him. At this point in the fiction, Harry is simply annoyed with the Weasley Matron.

Hope everyone liked Harry's note to Dumbledore. Considering this board, I don't think anyone will be offended.

Scene 2 - Many authors refuse to let their Voldemorts think of anything beyond ways to kill Harry Potter. My version is actually planning global conquest. Potters that die along the way are considered added bonuses. Where does it say that Voldemort can't be concerned for the welfare of his troops? Would it stop him from putting Penelope in a dangerous situation if necessary - hell no! But if it is reasonable to get her to a safe zone once she has accomplished her mission, then why not? Anyway the point I wanted to show here is Voldemort is allowed to plan for things that do not pertain to offing our hero.

Then there is Peter. Once again Peter is trying to make up for lack of magical talent. No one is ever going to put Walden McNair up there among the Dark Lord's finest duelers. I was actually laughing while I typed Peter's rant. What kind of Wizard does use an axe to kill something? Peter is more than a bit unbalanced.

Scene 3 - Well there you go. As I mentioned in the brief author's notes at the end, I do not know of any fiction that has used the idea of a draft/conscripted army. Here is where my version of Harry is starting to differ from cannon Harry. His disillusionment with the Wizarding World is leading him to believe that 'Prophecies help those who help themselves'. Sure he has to kill Voldemort, how about the lazy slackers get off their collective hineys and take care of the rest of Voldy's army. I also created some constraints as to why there aren't any wizarding armies out there. Is this 'self defense force' going to cause international tension? You bet. Armies by whatever name you choose to call them bother other countries that do not have one of their own.

I wanted to get to Gringotts and the Wizengamot, but it was already over 11,000 words and I feel that this part at least warrants about 5000 words. So it will wait for the first part of next chapter.

Rufus is an interesting character. Too often he is a brutal power hungry thug, who is looking for an excuse to toss our hero into Azkaban. My version is brutal and power hungry, but not a thug. Rather he is a politician and a fairly capable one. He senses an opportunity to leapfrog to the top of the dungheap and Harry is his ticket there. Harry is clearly no longer 'Dumbledore's man'. Would you be after 5 years of this foolishness?

Finally, one of the themes Harry is going to have to wrestle with for the duration of the story is did he throw his lot in with Scrimgeour wisely? Is he trading a Dark Lord for a Fascist Generalissimo and funding a good portion of the 'self defense force'? Finally, I am sure there have been a whole bunch of discussions about the finances of the Wizarding World. It seems to me that the prize for the Triwizard tournament should be more than 1000 galleons if old families have millions laying around in their vault. You would think Harry's wand would cost more than 7 galleons. How would Olivander stay in business. Oh well. What can you do.

Up on tap for next chapter is Gringotts and the Wizengamot. The promised Dumbledore sighting and may be the confrontation between the two of them. Do you think that Molly will like the idea that this new conscripted army, should it come to pass will mobilize 5 out of her 7 children? Will she be pleased that Harry supports it? Will Harry really put a ring on Susan's hand just to see Hannah's expression?

Happy reading,
Jim