Malfoy! how can you hate malfoy. sure there are some down sides to him but it's not like he has any....wait. why do you hate malfoy again :?:

 

It's an irrational hatred, I think. It's just everytime I read a story with Draco not getting what he deserves I.. *angry glare* I just despise the character, alright? lol, I really have no idea why I hate him so much, though. I just do.

Why bother questioning what works?

 

i thought so. alot of people hate a certin character and don't know why. propebly got brain washed by all the interesting fourms in DLP, like a certin redhead.

 

Wow! You folks have been busy! From an author perspective, I find it a challenge to take characters like Marietta (who was also considered for the love interest in this story btw), Terry Higgs and of course the Dursleys and actually make you the readers feel for them. At the same time take a character who is an almost untouchable icon like Lily (except for all those Harry's twin is thought to be BWL and Harry is abused) and get do what I did to her. The only story that really bucks the trend with Lily and James still alive that I really like is 'Twist of Fate'. Where Harry was turned into a vampire on the night Voldy tried to kill him.

As for characters I can't stand (I will probably take some crap for this, but) on top of my list is none other than Fred and George. I just don't like them for some reason. Personally, given the way Harry has grown up, would he really like a pair of pranksters. Oh sure they are always in good taste, but I wonder if all their victims feel that way. That's just my opinion though.

Following that Draco and Snape, the poor little rich boy and the spy who somehow justifies his treatment of Harry.

Ron, I really don't have anything against. Hermione either for that matter. I do try and look at the character in the moment I am writing it. I did get a couple of emails saying that she definitely would have gone with Harry after the dementors. Its possible, but for those of us who have known bossy people in our lives. They react negatively when you stop letting them boss you around. Between her injury at the ministry, her by the rules attitude (yes I know she has broken school rules, but this isn't a school rule she was breaking) and Harry's unwillingless to listen to people who have his best interest at heart - well I could see her balking at a dementor hunt. After all going by book 3 and not the movie, she was there when the dementors attacked Harry and Sirius. She has felt dementors attacking her before. I am sure it wasn't very pleasant.

Anyway, chapter 11 is over 7000 in length at the moment. I need to finish up 1 or 2 scenes which will take it up to probably 9000. Rufus Scrimgeour makes his first appearance. The big fight scene is pretty much done and it looks good and Harry gets in over his head. I am expecting to post on Saturday.

I do have chapter 1 of a second story written. I want to hold off putting it up until I have like 5 or 6 chapters of it written. But if enough of you request it, I will put it up. The only problem is that I would only be able to do probably a chapter per month and still keep up with my main story.

What do you think? If anyone is dying to read it email me and I'll send you it.

Jim

 

Hey i resent your rich boy comment, but agree with your hatred of snape and malfoy, i hate them both. As for why i hate hermoine and not ron i think it's just because everyone else loves hermoine and i feel people exaggerate ron's jealousy a tad bit, that and i just can't relate to know it all's and people who follow rules. I also agree with fred and george however i actually like them but they are innocent harry supporters way to often in ff.
Can't wait to read chp. 11 and chp. 1 of story 2..

 

Don't Hate the Twins!

Jbern: You've said you don't like the twins. Now as someone who was teased rather badly in school I can certainly understand your sentiment, but I don't think your being fair to the twins here. Out of all the Weasleys I would imagine that they would be the MOST loyal to Harry. Here's why:

1) While they are notorious pranksters, they aren't malicious about it. Well, except for Snape, Malfoy, Dudley and Umbridge—but they deserved what they got. Turning someone blue or giving someone a flattuance attack might be humililating, but its not that degrading or harmful. The twins are also rather open about their pranks, they go after anyone and everyone, and would probably welcome and respect payback in kind. Aside from the stated foursome, I can't see them being bastards about it and would probably be remorseful it one of their pranks got truly out of hand.
2) The twins have proven themselves-in canon-to be rather honorable and generous. They gave Harry the map after all. When you add the fact that the Weasleys owe Harry 2 life debts (Ginny and Arthur) and that Harry gave them his Tri-Wizard earnings I can't see them going against Harry at all. In fact, more than any other Weasley (Bill and Ron included) I actually see them as being rather pissed about the whole lets marry Harry to Ginny plot and actually causing a rather large row about it. When you throw in their total disrespect of authority I just can't see them knowing about the plot and NOT telling Harry, to say nothing about going along with it.

I can understand that you personally don't like the Twins or feel you can't write them properly. So kill them off or something. But please don't have them being part of the Back-Stabing Seven (Dumbles, Sirius, Remus, Molly, Minerva, Hermione & Ginny).

Now that I've finished my rather long rant I just want to say thanks for writing what is quickly becoming one of my favorite fics. You're taking Potter fanfiction and going your own way all the while your staying true to known canon! What I mean is that you fully explain multiple viewpoints and though processes. When something happens in this fic I, the reader, can easily see how you got from Point A to Point C because you aren't making the classic fanfic authors mistake of skipping Point B! Keep up the great work and I can't wait for your next chapter.

Brian

 

Ron & a Hopefully Not Cut Scene.

I also want to say that I rather like your protrayal of Ron in this fic. So far anyway. Assuming for the moment that he knew nothing about THE PLOT, then he's done nothing wrong in my book. While it took Harry's outburst at the will reading to make him admit his feelings for Hermione, his feelings have been known to Harry for some time now. Add the factor that, in his mind, Harry is perfect for Ginny because he KNOWS that Harry would treat her right and protect her and you have him doing nothing wrong in wanting Hermione and Ginny to get Harry and Ginny together. Though, if he knew about THE PLOT then all bets are off.

Also, please tell me you're going to show the scene where Harry shows Susan his pensive memories. I can't imagine a better way for them to connect than that. Hopefully you'll even show it from Susan's POV too as that would really be great!

 

RedViking - Thanks for your views. I hadn't intended on F&G being a part of the plot against Harry. I haven't finalized my plans with them. They may show up. I may kill them off. Not really sure. Although them operating from a fixed business location in this war, things might go rather badly for them. Remember my version of Voldy isn't an insane throne humper. Hmmm, insane throne humper, I like that! I also have not forgotten about the whole pensieve thing. Susan has been either busy with her mother and aunt's funeral, the will readings and then she was feeling flustered with the Leech smothering Harry.

All for now. Must go earn money now.

Jim

--- I am back. Chapter 11 is to my beta and reviewing team. It is a good chapter and I looked forward to your reviews.

 

Chapter 11 Author Notes

Alright here is what was going through my twisted little mind as I wrote chapter 11. Special thanks to my trusty beta FairyQilan and the dynamic duo of IP82 and Killginny009. You three rule!

Scene 1 - I wanted to set up the big fight scene. During this time I wanted to establish that Kingsley is the superior dueler. Moody is good and if he were younger and had all his pieces he would be better. Many fics put Mad Eye up there as a surrogate Dumbledore. His plan sounds good - but who (besides the government?) ever starts with a bad plan?

Scene 2 - A nice little transition piece between Bill and Emmeline. It had a little light hearted humor and some speculation about Harry's power. I also threw in the bit about the mechanics of apparating. After all, why not just silence yourself, disillusion yourself and then apparate? The last line of the scene is for all of us out there who have ever had to deal with an ex grilling you about the details of your new relationship. Bill has to be 30 or older Fleur is between 18 and 20 at this point. In short, my hat is off to Billy.

Scene 3 - Something for those who need their fluff fix. Annoying for those who can't wait for the big battle. A little flashback from Susan's eyes as she struggles to assimilate everything that has happened to her in the last 18 hours. No I haven't forgotten the storyline or the rest of the characters, but these last 18 hours pretty much started with Percy's death in chapter 7! Please keep that in mind when you say Harry needs to (fill in the blank). Whatever Harry needs to be doing is probably on his list. Its a long list and getting even longer.

Scene 4 - Finally! Hopefully this is the payoff many of you have been waiting for - butt whupping Voldy! IP82 has told me its good, but not Shezza88 good. I will have to read this person's works at one point. Regardless, to quote old blue eyes "I did it my way." IP deserves some big kudos for helping make this scene more realistic and believable. I didn't want another scene of Voldy trashing generic aurors. I wanted this fight to actually mean something.

I realize I will probably take some heat for what happens to Nymphadora in this chapter. I love Tonks. She is one of my favorite characters. There is a saying, that you only hurt the ones you love. Mostly, its believable gritty and real. It was either that or Voldy was going to kill her.

Another thing I always wondered was why no one ever thought of mentioning Jack the Ripper in the Potterverse. I decided to make him an ancestor of the Malfoys.

Moody breaking down and using unforgivables? What do you think? I thought it made for good reading. I also put forth the notion that magic helps the body alive and fights of health problems. If nothing else, it can be inferred that Alastor has mistreated his body greatly over the years.

Scene 5 - Trouble in fluffdom. As I continue to emphasize, Harry and Susan will struggle. The will fight they will make up. He may even break down and try his mother's suspected route with the love potions? I use a version of Fred and George's advice on my wife all the time. It does work, try it for yourself.

Scene 6 - When the story finally gets there and I stop using 4 plus chapters to cover 18 hours. There is a political aspect to it. Thus the need to bring in Rufus. In cannon, Harry is Dumbledore's man. I suspect that is not the case here. My review team and I have been tossing about some very interesting and revolutionary plot twists for inclusion in the coming chapters. Stay tuned for more originality! Suave Qui Peut is french for save who can. Its a tribute to Heinlien's Starship Troopers (the book!). Basically it is retreat and save your hiney - anyone else's hiney you manage to save is a bonus! For the purposes of this story, the wizarding population of Britain is between 15 and 20 thousand. Before this chapter there were roughly 150 aurors. Both seem reasonable estimates.

Scene 7 and 8 - I didn't forget about Sturgis. Voldy lets Bella indulge in the ultimate fanstasy of self love or self loathing. I leave it up to you. I don't plan on writing smut. I leave it to you the readers to fill in the blanks.

Scene 9 - Here I explain why there are 4 vampires watching people get killed by the dementors. Voldy is auditioning his power to recruit further forces. Plus, is everyone else tired of ubervamps who are also wizards and witches? I know I am. Seriously, if there were no real downside to becoming a Vampire, how come Voldy doesn't become one? Thus, they lose just about all their magic in return for an extended life, stronger physical attributes and animagus forms. For non-history buffs Princip is the last name of the Serbian national who assassinated ArchDuke Ferdinand in Sarajevo to touch off World War One.

Hopefully, you enjoyed the brief history of Darius Longbottom set against the backdrop of Dumbledore and Grindlewald struggles. I am still trying to decide what to do with him. I will say stay tuned, because whatever I do it should be interesting!

 

Kingsley died again :cry:
Why everyone must kill him in their fics?

Other than that good chapter though I can't believe how easily Dawlish died.
About the last scene and Harrys fight with the vampires.
Make Dumbledore save him and kill Darius or Harry barely gettting away without the bite.

 

Dawlish was rescued by the house elves. He lost both legs though.

As far as Kingsley, well he is a powerful wizard. Most people whack him for dramatic effect. Deciding to kill him and Moody at the same time sends a powerful message.

 

Jbern, magic contradicts god period.
I qoute from Chapter 6 :“Morning Susan. Is something wrong with your Floo? I tried to call earlier, but it wouldn’t work.”

“No its not okay,” Susan started in a voice that started out trembling and was threatening to turn into sobbing any second. “We were attacked last night. Mum and Auntie are gone!”

“Ohmigod! Are you okay? Where are you? Do you need us to come get you?”

“I am physically fine and I am at a safe location, but I am not supposed to let anyone know where right now. As soon as I can tell, you’ll be the first to know.”

“I am so sorry about your mum and aunt. Is there anything I can do?” Hannah said feeling quite helpless tears already starting down her cheek. Hannah had been quite fond of Dana and Amelia Bones.

Please remember this.

 

That was a nice chapter. Can't wait for the next one.


and Finally, someone going into History about Grindwald and Albus's Young days.

The deaths didn't bother me to much, sure Moody and Shacklebolt are useful wizards, but you really can't have the Adults steal the show in a book about a kid.

Just dont make Harry a vampire, the last thing we need is a magicless Harry with the angst of being a "dark creature".


/Myst

 

Damnit!

I really wish you hadn't done that to Tonks. She's my favorite character after Harry, and i hate when stories use her as 'fresh meat', so to speak, for Voldemort and his forces.

The rest was good, great really. "Gritty realism" indeed. Brilliant chapter, save for Tonks. Moody and Kingsley were characterized well.

 

Serpanto - It's an expression. Hannah used it. Not really sure what you were trying to get at.

Myst - no chance in hell am I making Harry a vampire. I am pretty fed up with those storylines right now, which is why I made vampires in my story not so powerful. After all Quirrell was hunting them and whoever Lockhart oblivated killed one so they can't be all that and a bag of chips.

Seems I am already taking some heat for what happened to Tonks in the chapter. Oh well, can't please everybody.

Jim

 

No no...i don't mean to give you heat.

Dude, it's your story. If you take other people's bullshit too seriously, then it ceases to become yours.

I like Tonks, so i was a bit put off by the fact that she got raped...repeatedly. This shouldn't make a goddamn difference to you at all.

Your story is excellent, so if people have a problem with one or two minor things, don't even bother. THe vast majority loved the entire chapter, so cater to the majority. Pleasing everyone just takes the fic out of your hands.

If you try to please everyone, you end up failing...

 

I wasn't specifically refering to your post. I was talking about a few of the reviews and PM's from FF.net. I was already typing my previous post before your's popped up.

Don't worry, I won't change the way I write the story just to please people. Trust me on that.

I also love Tonks as a character. I either want to write a real quality Honks fic or ask ImaginaryFriend101 if he/she would let me take over Time Gone By. That is one of the best abandoned stories I have ever read. As you can see I have a thing for realism in a story.

Jim

PS - If I was going to write a time travel fic, I would almost be tempted to write a Harry is Grindlewald story. How is that for a plot bunny?

 

I really wanted to write a Harry is Dumbledore fic. That plot bunny has been nagging me for months.

The day he kills Voldemort, he gets struck by the killing curse at the same time that Voldemort dies. He gets blasted through time, and appears in a house to see a young Albs Dumbledore get killed by soemthing or the other. He then takes Dumbeldore's place, and knowingly manipulates his future self to preserve the path of time.

Because, if dumbledore died then, then everything gets changed.

What do you think?

 

As long as you give him a little bit of flexibility, it could be good. Thats one of the reasons I try not to do time travel fics. I usually swear off a scifi show the moment they start dragging that lame plot device out. I'd stick to your stuff right now since you are just in the first few chapters of two stories. Which is why I don't want to release "Bungle in the Jungle: A Harry Potter adventure" until I am around chapter 15 or 20 and I have at least 5 chapters of it written.

Jim