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Complete To Perserve by HippoParty - M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Nerdman3000, Apr 30, 2015.

  1. Nerdman3000

    Nerdman3000 Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2013
    Messages:
    226
    To Persevere by HippoParty - M

    Title: To Persevere
    Author: HippoParty
    Rating: M
    Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: The Alternates
    Summary: Voldemort realises that Harry is a Horcrux as he is escaping from Privet Drive at the beginning of Deathly Hallows. Voldemort captures Harry and is determined for the Horcrux to be in control. However, Harry will not go down without a fight, he is determined to finish the task Dumbledore has given him. Includes Hogwarts. Very dark version of Deathly Hallows.
    Chapters: 26
    Words: 168,860
    Link: Link to Story

    This story also has a sequel which is in progress called Nineteen Monthes Later.

    I found this fic while I was searching for a nonslash story featuring Voldemort and was deeply surprised by how good it was. I couldn't stop reading it and I was surprised to learn that it's not in the library, because I do believe it could belong there.

    It doesn't have much if any cliches as far as I can tell and it surprisingly somewhat follows Taure's idea of how a Horcrux should work, that it being obedient and controlled by the Master Soul, Voldemort. The only true problems with the story are the some of the grammar problems that appear. Other than that, there nothing I found all thought wrong with the fic.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2015
  2. CrippledGod

    CrippledGod Banned

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    The first sentence of the summary doesn't bode well for the readability of the fic.
    Will check out nonetheless.
     
  3. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery ~ Prestige ~

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    Fix the title. I will admit, a story about Harry making preserves would be oddly original, but perserve just doesn't work at all.
     
  4. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    He could end up in a real jam.
     
  5. Delos

    Delos First Year DLP Supporter

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    A real sticky situation, especially if he spreads himself too thin.
     
  6. Crimson13

    Crimson13 Professor

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Messages:
    448
    Does the author not understand the use of a period at the end of a sentence or for that matter punctuation when a character is speaking? Because there will be times where he/she/whatever does get it but it's all the more pronounced because everything else is wrong and that instance is right.

    Not to mention the first fucking sentence has a spelling error and a fairly obvious one: "Avarda-" . Does the author mean 'Avada Kedavra' which even Google knows and is the first thing on a search result of it?

    I got around halfway of the first chapter and closed the tab; I don't know if the idea has promise but the author seriously needs a beta and/or elementary school English classes.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2015
  7. Zeelthor

    Zeelthor Scissor Me Timbers

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    "Avarda..."

    No. Absolutely not.
     
  8. Stormey

    Stormey Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2008
    Messages:
    328
    Just read it. It was an extremely slow paced fic. Not much happens throughout and aside from the bad grammar, the author does things for no reason. Voldemort's decisions make no sense, except you know they are only made because it gives the author excuse to write what he wants to happen next.

    I usually don't mind slow paced books, but this was slow and was severely lacking in story. I would give this 1/5 after reading the whole thing.