1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

WIP Traveler by The Straight Elf - T - Pokemon

Discussion in 'Games' started by MonkeyEpoxy, Apr 14, 2013.

  1. DemonicInfluence

    DemonicInfluence Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2007
    Messages:
    127
    That was also Mewtwo still in the early stages of using his superpowers. Presumably, he's stronger now.

    The story does get a bit repetitive when all his pokemon are released and talked to, but the description of stuff like the legendaries and some of the tactics are pretty cool. The author is also good at explaining type weaknesses and how they can be overcome partly with enough training.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2013
  2. Jawke

    Jawke Squib

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Messages:
    8
    I enjoy this fic alot. I wont be surprised if people start copying him.
    Also anyone else get the feeling of Hermit!Ash as well as the fact that this is a "training" fic more than anything else. Enjoyable read once he separates from his companions. Also what actually happened to his friends? I know they washed up in the Sevii islands but I don't recall them ever being mentioned again. Would think that he would keep in contact.
     
  3. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2011
    Messages:
    4,110
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Colorado
    Yep, "it gets better as it goes on," seems almost fanfiction cliche at this point, but it's very true here. The most recent chapters are an easy 5/5 in the fandom, to contrast with the 2.5-3/5 quality earlier in the tale. It takes a jump in quality when the author gets to stop dealing with the companions, and another, huge, jump during the

    Raid on the Team Rocket base with Steven
     
  4. DemonicInfluence

    DemonicInfluence Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2007
    Messages:
    127
    They were mentioned in passing as training hard and Ash wants to fight them seriously now that they've gotten stronger. I think this happens when Ash is in Pallet Town, but I forget. It was a bit awkward that it seemed that Ash totally forgot about them, especially right after the incident.
     
  5. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2006
    Messages:
    2,839
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    High Score:
    13,152
    Been reading this over the last week; am now all caught up.

    Pros:

    - Competent Ash with nice skill progression. I think he's at the right level of power/skill with respect to his peers and to the Masters like Lance.
    - The parts with actual plot i.e. the Team Rocket, Mewtwo, legendaries, and friendship with Lance/other Masters.
    - Enormous chapters.
    - Good, if rather long, fights.
    - Interesting party selection, for the most part.
    - The tone. I think the fic gets it just right. It's not absurdly extreme like Sun Soul, but it's not completely kiddie like the anime. Pokemon can die, they can hurt and kill humans. But it's not common.

    Cons:

    - So-so writing. Others in this thread have said his writing is decent... you have very low standards. Decent for the Pokemon fandom, maybe. But it's clunky, repetitive, goes off on massive tangents... often the narration is very obviously authorial voice justifying something to the reader. He goes into massive detail on some things, but leaves other things massively under-described.

    - Repetition. We don't need to hear about every fight, every move. And we don't need to hear the same facts over and over, like how after Nidorino got injured and we had to read descriptions over and over of how he wasn't ready to go back to training/evolve. Another example: every time a new Pokemon is captured we go through the same "I'll make you strong" speech.

    - Show vs. tell on the "Ash is a great trainer" front. Okay, so Ash is a very good trainer, and it shows in how well his team does. He rarely loses, and basically never loses to an opponent of equal experience. But why? Every Pokemon fight he wins, he basically wins through brute force. And we're constantly told how his Pokemon, while strong, are nowhere near top-percentage. E.g. pretty much every Nidoking we've seen has been described as stronger/bigger than Ash's.

    - On the topic of Nidoking, he's been massively underutilised in the latest chapters. Yes, Ash has some powerhouse Pokemon like Torrent. But you'd think what we'd see in response to that is an increased focus on Nidoking, and on how Ash's Nidoking is a truly amazing specimen, etc. Instead Nidoking has mainly been sidelined. After such a big deal was made of Ash using a moon stone cut from the actual Moon Stone to evolve him, I was sure we were going to be dealing with an awesome Nidoking. But so far no joy.

    - Sneasel. He adds nothing to the story other than being annoying. Even the variety his type brings to the team is a bit pointless, as Ash can already beat Sabrina but isn't anywhere near powerful enough to threaten Mewtwo.

    3/5 from me. The last chapter with Lance was good, but I'm not sure how much actual difference it will make - Ash will still beat trainers of equivalent skill handily, but he'll still lose to trainers far better than him like the Elite Four. The fic is currently missing a level of trainer somewhere in between the two to be a challenge for Ash.

    Edit: also, wtf is up with "seclusive"?

    On the speculation side, I think:

    1. Mewtwo could defeat any given Legendary Bird in a one on one fight, but if the birds ganged up on him, MewTwo would lose. Maybe even just two of the three would be sufficient.

    2. Mewtwo will eventually be defeated through what Sree joked about: the Masterball. I think we've had some pretty massive hints that Oak is working with Silph Co. to create the Masterball, and it's the only realistic way to disable Mewtwo. Presumably he'll be kept in the ball, and the ball kept in a secret location under very heavy guard. I think he's too powerful to be used as a combat Pokemon, Masterball or no.
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2013
  6. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2011
    Messages:
    4,110
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Colorado
    I can respect all of that, though I'd like to see Ash's rematch with Sabrina before I say anything on that front. He's shown he can beat one of her inferior teams (with a rematch no less), but the past few chapters have shown us that the gym leaders have some fuckin powerhouses.

    Speculation on the quality of trainers at the indigo plateau? I can see Ash completely steamrolling his way to the top 16, but I'd imagine the trainers at the back end are just as talented as the gym leaders, and Ash has by no means been rolling over them during his rematches.

    If I knew whether or not the author wanted to write Johto, I could give an answer on whether or not I think Ash wins the whole thing.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2013
  7. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2010
    Messages:
    1,684
    Its been updated.
    As expected, Moltres stomped all of them.
    Pretty good chapter, though the sheer stomping they got makes me wonder how in the world Mewtwo will ever be defeated. Moltres was suitably cool and characterized (for a pokemon) well. Ash is steadily moving up. Infernus is now a beast, and everyone has gotten much stronger from Lance.

    Big upgrades for Ash I see coming in the future:
    -Maybe Nidoking somehow? Some item he holds or something?
    He's outclassed pretty handily by Infernus and Torrent, so I feel like he's due for something.
    -And of course Sneasel. I think he'll evolve before/during the conference. Would be a somewhat decent counter to Lance if he gets good at Ice attacks.

    Edit:

    In regards to Mewtwo versus Moltres:
    -In this fight, with Moltres taking it VERY easy on Lance and Ash, they got stomped with little effort. I think it'd be an even match up between Moltres and Mewtwo. Mewtwo showed slight difficulty against the huge group against it. Moltres didn't, even when holding back, but it was only two trainers. So we don't have comparable situations to see who'd win.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2013
  8. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2011
    Messages:
    4,110
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Colorado
    God it was awesome. I know it's not the best written fic out there, but it's more than passable and I have more fun reading it/anticipated updates than I have any updating fic in a loooooooong time. Still sticking with my 4/5 rating, and while I think the apologizing for his update rate is a bit silly, considering the length, it's a refreshing change from the authors that still boycot updates if they don't get enough reviews.

    I also think there's a tangible difference between Mewtwo and the... deity, for lack of a better word, that Moltres was, though I wouldn't be at all surprised if Mewtwo was holding back as well. I also wouldn't be surprised if Moltres would be able to get Articuno and Zapdos to 'focus' on the threat Mewtwo may or may not pose. W.R.T. Infernus, I think that him dying as a Magmar without being 'resurrected' would have been better since I think there should be repercussions from challenging a god, but I'm glad it lived and Magmortar is a badass motherfucker, and this was a clever solution to a Magmar evolution without using a Magmarizer.

    Man I hope The Straight Elf continues on to Johto or the Battle Frontier or something. Also, I may have missed it, but is the Spencer that Ash's mom referenced the Frontier Brain Spencer?

    Also, could Moltres bring back any freshly dead pokemon, or is the Magby line, with its healing ability with lava a special case? I hope it's the latter.

    Another update into my stream-of-consciousness set of reactions, I hope evolving into Weavile makes me care about it, though I think it's unlikely for a fairly freshly hatched pokemon to evolve this soon.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2013
  9. Captain Trips

    Captain Trips High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2008
    Messages:
    567
    Location:
    Sweden
    Spencer and Molly is from the third movie. What tipped me off was that he was reaserching Unown.
     
  10. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2011
    Messages:
    4,110
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Colorado
    It updated. The entire chapter was from Mewtwo's point of view from his "birth" to his annexation of New Island.
     
  11. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,332
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Zealand
    High Score:
    4,500
    Umm, how was it?

    I just saw it updated, and was really excited. But I don't know if I really want to read that. :/
     
  12. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    1,084
    Location:
    Australia.
    High Score:
    3694
    It's not as satisfying about reading further adventures of the protagonist, but it's still decent. Adds to the story and will make the next confrontation with Mewtwo more interesting.
     
  13. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2011
    Messages:
    4,110
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Colorado
    I liked it, and it was interesting insight into how much true power Mewtwo has, and his "encounter" with Zapdos was cool, and I'm still a fan of this portrayal of Giovanni even though it's not much new. It's not as fun as following Ash, but it's worth your time.

    I'm also curious as to what Giovanni and Persian have that nullifies anything Mewtwo does to them directly.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2013
  14. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2011
    Messages:
    206
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    i love girl's generation tbh
    High Score:
    1803
    The main character of this fic is not MattSilver, yet it is named Traveler, thus it fails. :(
     
  15. Callagan

    Callagan Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2012
    Messages:
    123
    So, this story has updated. Great chapter, even if I thought the ending was a bit of a letdown. I have no idea what Straight Elf can do to top this fight, though.
     
  16. Knyght

    Knyght Alchemist

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2010
    Messages:
    2,349
    Location:
    England
    Plenty of Legendaries in the world.

    Wasn't a fan of the memory wipe, even more so here than in the movie. Makes the Giovanni reveal especially redundant though I suppose that stopped mattering when he was killed anyway.

    But Ash sent a message to Lance so I doubt the incident's gonna be swept under the rug.
     
  17. DemonicInfluence

    DemonicInfluence Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2007
    Messages:
    127
    What a long chapter. I found it enjoyable though.
     
  18. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2010
    Messages:
    1,684
    I don't like Pokemon fics where the Legendaries are so powerful nothing the main characters do can make a difference. It makes me feel like there's no point-- the only thing that can make a difference is another Legendary, so why try?
    I liked the portrayal of Legendaries in The Sun Soul. In that one Moltres and Zapdos are each roughly equivalent to 2 or 3 of Lance's top Dragonites. They can't really be defeated, but you can hold them off. In this fic, there's literally NO comparison between Mewtwo, Moltres, Mew, and other Legendaries and normal Pokemon.

    Also, Giovanni is an idiot. Why the hell would you create a Pokemon that powerful?
    That's just asking for trouble.
     
  19. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2011
    Messages:
    4,110
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Colorado
    Author confirmed in a PM that there's one more region after Kanto, and it's likely to be Hoenn.

    I can't wait to see how ridiculous Groudon, Rayquaza, and Kyogre are, assuming that's the way it goes.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2013
  20. tragicmat1

    tragicmat1 Death Eater

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2011
    Messages:
    923
    Location:
    Madrid
    I don't know, I find it much better than making them weak enough that they almost seem catchable. It's not that one way is inherently better than the other, but I find this epic feeling of legendaries to be pretty nice.
     
Loading...