Thanks...

However, I try to shy away from offering things like that to an author because it can be taken the wrong way. Too often it comes across as the reader telling the author what to write about... and that's a big no no in my book. If they ask my opinion, I'll give it... but I like my friendly relationship with Jim way too much to screw around with it.

He is of course welcome to use the line... or something like it if he so desires.

Besides, I'd be more interested in volunteering suggestions for how to prank the Weasley twins in a truly memorable fashion. I've got a couple that would fear of prongs into them and would fit HJ perfectly.

 

This is remarkably similar to the character of Fluffy the Rancor on rancorpit.com forums...eerily similar, in fact...

Kevin

 

I have no idea what you're talking about...

However, I am very much in favor of more Hack-like characters.

Or at least an update from Jim at some point.



Any word on when TME's next chapter is due out, Jim?

 

I HAVE HAD A BRILLANT IDEA
(yes, I know its rare and usually crazy and or dangerous)


We take a scapel, cut open Shezza's brain and take samples of his brain matter that deals with the ability to update at a crazy pace and clone it(yes, legality doesnt matter here cause I said so). Then, we slice open Jim's brain cut out his update ability portion and insert said clone specimen into the empty spot. AND WHALLA updates everyday or pretty close to it.


Other than that, When can we expect this update? Because my last sheep clone had like 10 legs and no head.

 

Chapter 5 is up at ffn and FFA...

 

Great chapter, I think, though there was a disappointing lack of Hack. I like how he quoted Garrett at the end there. Good animagus for Bill, though!

All in all, keep up the good work, there, Jim!

Kevin

 

I liked Bill's animagus form, and I like the fact that Fleur's pervishness embarrasses Luna, but the rest of this chapter just feels...lacking, somehow. Maybe I've gotten spoiled with 'Lie', but this one just didn't feel up to usual standards to me.

I'm still looking forward to the next update, don't get me wrong. Here's hoping I'll get the excitement back next time.

 

I know that "Magical Animal Animagus" is a horribly-overused cliche, but that's because the average author turns people into something fantastic, like a Nundu, Dragon, or Phoenix. Having Bill turn into a Niffler is just fantastic!

I did feel, in general, that this chapter tried to do a little too much in a little too small of portions.

 

Its wasnt when I posted and I still think my idea is brillant but thanks for letting me know.

 

First, about this following on my post.

Whoa there! Asking if Jim had a date he was shooting for an update isn't the same thing as pushing for updates. Pushing is kinda disrespectful when you get right down to it.

Jim's pace is his pace. I'd rather he update at his pace when he's happy to update than have him go at Shezza's blistering pace if it would mean a loss of quality. (and if you look at the corrections that warlock gives shezza then you know what happens when you go at Shezza's pace lotsa errors creep in.)

Jim has given us another chapter shortly afterwards, so let's be happy.

Lots going on in this chapter.

Hitting things by the numbers.
1. Harry's convo with Dumbledore. He raises good points, and an interesting take on Tom Riddle. Though to be honest I think he's underestimating him. When someone is up against an enemy that is canny, they tend to get canny themselves. Now, that can play out any of a number of ways. Voldemort might take the tack of attacking in very sophisticated and bloody ways that will force Harry to do likewise. The only problem is that Harry would not respond the way Voldemort might expect, and as a result further confuse him . He might also try all sorts of tactics that would work against a possessing spirit... and the consequences to his unintentional Horcrux in Harry's head could be dire for old Tom. It might just force the Horcrux right out of Harry and destroy it. Or it could leave Tom knowing it's there and that unless Harry self destructs that at least one Horcrux will always be operational. It's a nasty conundrum. I also loved how you hinted at murky depths to the old faker. He always uses clever bits of wording so he never actually lies, he just lets other people misinterpret him. Mundungus is living proof of how much Dumbledore talks out the side of his mouth. Nice touch at making Dung a target for Voldemort, hinting that Dung knows more than he does. That'll get reported through the Aurors and no doubt make it to some corrupt person in the ministry... which in turn gets to Voldemort. Even better would have been to implant a fake memory into Dung, maybe slipping a carefully constructed penseive memory into a potion that implants it. I love the little side plots and details you add to the war.

On that same vein, I disagree with the previous poster that he's given up leverage with Dumbledore. Harry couldn't have really used any of that as leverage... and he's making a point with Dumbledore. You keep your supposed allies in the loop. That way when Dumbledore fucks something up by keeping secrets again, Harry is justified in saying "I didn't keep any secrets and my plans work out... You keep all these fucking secrets and fuck shit up." He's already undercutting Dumbledore's credibility at every turn. Soon all of Dumbledores allies will become his and leave Dumbledore. Look at Hermione.

And speaking on this.

I liked how you handed the "trust" issue. Very mature. Pointing out to her that she'd not trust him if the situations were reversed.

I could easily see her trying to earn his trust back by telling him some secret that Dumbledore confides in her, then Harry asks her "when did he tell you this?" only to find out it was recent. He then points out that Dumbledore only told her this because she would run to Harry and tell him it... so that Dumbledore could start using her to feed Harry tidbits and use her to try and steer Harry back into his planned course of action. Hermione is just too niave to really read too deep into real plotting, and this can lead to all sorts of bad news for her.

Now onto the animagus stuff. I love the animagus form for our latest. Pure win and vary appropriate.

I like how he tried to resist the shiney object and finally pounced it.. pure hillarity. I forsee Fluer teasing him mercilessly.

However, I am not a real fan of animagus stuff. Most of the time I see it and go, MEH! that turning into an animal doesn't really sound like all that powerful an advantage... though Harry's form apparently is. To me, it seems like you're giving up spell casting, and all sorts of advantages like flight(with brooms), invisibility (from cloaks) and other stuff... just to become an animal that could be hit with a spell ending your life.

That said, what would happen if Harry shifted to his animagus form while wearing the invisibility cloak, or while he's got a shield spell cast.

If Harry has any sort of wandless casting ability... going animagus might be a real benefit. Casting spells while in that mobile of a form would be downright scary. But as it is, for most Animagi...turning into an animal, unless that form is one as physically dangerous as Harry's form is, just doesn't seem like an advantage to me, in fact it feels more he's making himself more vulnerable because his primary offense and defensive powers are inaccessible.

As to the Goblin underworld. I like the idea. I can hardly wait to see how you work it out.

It's also nice to see that Dumbledore is out of the loop about just how much support Harry actually has from the minister with killing off DE families. The news from the mercenaries was nice. Though I'm not sure why Harry isn't recommending that they loot the sites also when they can. It's an age old tactic of wars. Loot the enemy to deny them resources and to defray costs and increase morale among your mercs.

Though I'm sure the mercs are likely doing that already on their own to some extent.

Now, Snape... HA... I can hardly wait to see what he's on about. Probably after some of that Demon blood, bone, sinew and whatnot. Of course he could be there to actually try and talk to Harry after hearing Narcissa's story. HA! That'd be hillarious. Suddenly Snape doesn't know if he's dealing with Harry the "brat" or some centuries old South American Necromancer. It also makes you wonder if Dumbledore told him about the demon Harry helped kill. I just get the impression that Dumbledore was putting up a front of not being impressed, and that when Harry left started shaking... having seen how effective he actually was.

Pure win.

All in all, a nice slice of story for us. The only thing I have to add is that I hope that in the next update we see more actual events take place. That and I

 

I don't think there's anything suggesting that JBern is following the "Harry is a Horcrux" plotline.

 

He also might be a bit miffed about the destruction of his home.

 

I must have missed that. I'd best go reread it to see where that happened.

 

An excellent addition to an excellent fic. Always looking forward to more, jbern.

 

I only read this update once - I'll reread and get back to you... but...
* blinks back tears *
You didn't show us Hack's new outfit! I wanted to see it! * piteous wail *

Enquiring Minds Want To Know:
Is it a tunic, or cloak, or over-one-shoulder loincloth, worn with a eye-catching yet tasteful leather belt?

 

Hmm... maybe for once I'm gonna critique your work, jbern.

Harry's psyche change - In the main, his harsher, more direct attitude makes a lot of sense, considering the kind of experiences he's recently had. However, it simply does not make an ounce of sense that he will let a student/casual contact stay in Voldemort's clutches if he can help it. That's plain cruel. I can believe Harry to be a hard fighter, but a guy who can give up innocent lives to torture, murder, and worse for his own plan? No chance. What'd separate him from Voldemort then?

Harry's PoV - So far, its the only pov in which we have the story. No offense, but I see some over-the-top Dumbledore-bashing. Dumbledore is a manipulative politician, but he is in essence working for a safe wizarding world. Not everything he does is laced with double intentions and malice. Not evrything would be designed to bring Harry under his thumb. I mean alright, he's a bit of a control freak, but he's far from stupid. I think he'd have realized by now that Harry will never be under his control again. And, honestly speaking, it gets tiring to hear Harry go on and on like a broken record about the obliviations. Its been done, and its out in the open. No need to repeat it every 2nd conversation.

Harry's overconfidence - Hell yes, he's so full of himself it'd take a year with an earth mover to shovel it out of him. So, he fought the spirit of a minor Dark Lord, and managed to defeat a Greater Daemon with a good deal of help and ingenuity. He was brave, he was good, he was powerful. Riddle is still very strong, and he should realize it. As far as I can decipher, his curse-breaking experiences have taught him the value of caution. Maybe he should apply it here too?

That's all for a critical review. That said, the chapter is quite good, with one awesome cliff-hanger. You really have a way of moving your plot.
I hope this review will help.

 

Another job well done

As always, great to see another update.

I'll not repeat what has already been said, but another fine chapter overall, even if the frantic pace has rather slowed over the past two chapters. I'm fine with that, as you're establishing the ground rules for what i can only assume will be pure mayhem.

Regarding the dementor handing Harry a note, in my estimation they'll serve him if properly enticed. When Harry was fighting the daemon, his patronus did a lot of harm to it. To me, this displays a large link between the daemon and the dementors. Further, with Harry now having a link to the daemon, this would seem to link him to the dementors as well. My guess is that the note handed to him can most easily be deciphered by the demon.

 

I know some people have expressed that they don't like Harry being over confident. I disagree I love Harry being an arrogant asshole. He beat a fucking Daemon I think he has the to be arrogant. It will probably come back to bite him on the ass later, but it is natural for him to be over confident.

Another thing I liked was Harry being ruthless, stating that he won't save people. I think he is full of shit when he says that, but I like the idea of it. Hopefully, he actually believes, instead of it being something he just said to make Dumbledore feel bad.

I liked Dumbledore, he is shown as being quite cruel in letting Mundungs rot in Azkaban. Of course I hope Harry kills him at some point, for all the shit he puts him through, but until then he is a great antagonist.

It's a nice chapter with a very cruel cliffy. Here's hoping Snape gets killed next chapter.

Homer

 

Harry is a arrogant little bastard but he is very good at it unlike some people like Malfoy. Harry makes being a Arrogant Bastard look good.

 

The important thing to consider is that Harry is entitled to some arrogance.

Then there's Draco, and we're like "What? Did I miss something?" because there's no reason whatsoever, no deed, no accomplishment that he'd feel any pride.