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Complete Turn Me Loose: A Harry Potter Adventure by JBern - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by jbern, Sep 1, 2007.

  1. Robo Jesus

    Robo Jesus High Inquisitor

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    I think that what Dumbledore did was in response to Harry's comments about him "not wanting to become a tool" like Snape has become. So, Harry throws the vomiting curse, and Dumbledore, in a bid to keep Snape from going "Harry's right, fuck you" and walking out, now has reason to do the whole "Transfigure and Humiliate" bid in order to sooth Snape's bruised ego and distract him from the fact that Harry was essentially right.
     
  2. Kardikek

    Kardikek Groundskeeper

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    How is Snape supposed to find out this even happened? Harry will only tell his closest friends who have no reason to mention this to Snape. I can't see Dumbledore gloating about how he humiliated Harry to Snape.
    And forgive me for being thick but I can't see how there could be anything to Dumbledore's motives beyond "Harry needs to learn a lesson in humility", which Harry doesn't need for reasons stated by others earlier and hasn't acknowledged.
     
  3. Robo Jesus

    Robo Jesus High Inquisitor

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    Considering that Dumbledore based an entire plot in HBP (yes, I know, the book sucked) on Draco succeeding 'in his initiation' (even given that the guy has proven to be a failure in almost all of his previous plots that were more complicated than pointing his wand at something and trying to curse it (and usually failing at even that)), it honestly wouldn't surprise me if Snape has orders from Voldemort along the lines of "and find out what Dumbledore has in his pensieve if you have the chance."

    And Snape 'randomly' coming across a memory like that in Dumbledore's pensieve giving Snape that 'ego soothing' that something has been done regarding Harry while still giving Dumbledore 'plausible deniability' does seem in line if it was left there to begin with. Of course, this is just supposition (though still decently logical) at this point without further evidence with which to make a judgment one way or the other.

    That said, I'm quite willing to admit that I may be dead wrong. Got a better suggestion that fits the bill here?
    (I'm not being sarcastic, I'm just asking a serious question:) )
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2008
  4. Kardikek

    Kardikek Groundskeeper

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    I'm just thick like that, I can only restate what Warlocke so aptly put; Dumbledore thinks Harry's getting a bit too comfortable playing with the big boys and thought Harry would need to be taken down a peg. If he's having Harry's best interests in mind is debatable wether he's deluded himself enough or not.

    Several have stated that Dumbledore must have had an alterior motive to that entire scene but this seems to be the most obvious (to me).

    Don't think anybody would let just anyone accidentally or not waltz into their private memories on the off chance that he won't dig deeper and he will find that one memory. :p
     
  5. Felur

    Felur Squib

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    Although overall it is a great story, I have problems with the Harry/Luna's romance. This relationship seems to be unbalanced and little bit shallow, Luna plays a somewhat similar role as Ginny in the DH. She does not really know Harry's secrets and plans, she does not help to him to deal with Dumbledore and Voldemort etc. In this context Bill, Kwan even Fleur are much more important characters. I hope, this situation will eventually change.
     
  6. QuaziJoe

    QuaziJoe Dolphin Boy

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    Really how involved could luna get before you reach a cliche.

    Is it really that important to the story for Luna get a lot of screen time. I don't know what Jbern has planned, but the Luna romance is more a side note here, and to change it now would suck balls.

    I'm just waiting for the plot to move forward, a lot of this has been filler so far, and it's starting to feel like his coming darkness fic.

    Too much hogwarts... not enough smashy smashy!!
     
  7. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    Agree'd. Last chapter was pretty 'meh' compared to the others though. I suppose it's 'cause of other work in progress.
     
  8. MrJoe

    MrJoe Guest

    The story is great, but I still prefer The Lie I've Lived, to be honest, it may be because I'm biased towards the pairing though . . . that, and I prefer HJ's character in it, I think.

    What I think clinched it for me is Luna's blasting at Harry earlier in the story, however realistic it may be. Whenever I read H/L fics, I usually enjoy them because of Luna's spacey character, and when I say spacey, I mean one that is up all the time and is her actual personality, not one that's a front - it's more fun to read, I think.

    That being said, there's just something special about horny Trolls and half-giants going on a romp that can't be ignored . . .
     
  9. Voice of the Nephilim

    Voice of the Nephilim Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    Really like your concept for "The Inner Eye of Harry Potter". Sounds like it has the potential to be quite the chuckle.

    Ron and Voldemort one-shots would be welcome. More-so Voldemort one, as you write him as a force to actually be reckoned with.

    HP/BSG, couldn't care less. I probably would enjoy it if I actually sat down to watched it, but haven't.

    OotP minus Hermione brings up the possibility for quite the intriguing of scenarios. Hermione formulates the idea of the DA, so it happening isn't really a given. So, I quite like this idea.

    Cheers on Dead Eye nearing completion. I look forward to the website going up.

    I'm assuming you've cleared the "slow" parts of TML, and Harry will begin to once again cause large amounts of mayhem, since he should be leaving Hogwarts soon. In that sense, this story is the mirror opposite of most stories, in that I can't wait for Harry to leave.
     
  10. brad

    brad Third Year

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    Heh. Come now; quite a few people here appreciate the romantic component of Jbern's stories, the H/L, H/Fleur and the like. While I'm intrigued by the notion of his 'Hermione in Azkaban' story as being more character driven - which would involve a number of emotions, including (the beginnings of?) romance - I'm not suggesting 'romance up the bazoo', so your umbrage is undeserved.
     
  11. Kardikek

    Kardikek Groundskeeper

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    True, I took your comment as meaning you wanted little to no plot. The reason why Jbern's H/L, H/F H/S works is because the romance fits the plot, not the other way around. I for one wouldn't want his talents wasted on pure fluff when other authors do a better job of it and are more experienced.
     
  12. Philly Homer

    Philly Homer What you call elephant cum I call mouthwash

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    Look at the name, it should be obvious.
    Well, this was definitely not one of your best chapters, Jbern. Maybe, it was due to your absence from fanfiction, that was the reason. I personally found this chapter to be severely lacking from the usual updates we get from you.

    The best part of the chapter was Hack and Hagrid's night in the Forbidden Forest, which had my sides hurting. Snape getting humiliated was fun too, but those were the two bright spots in this chapter.

    There was way too much Hogwarts and teenage emoness in this chapter, especially the scene involving Ginny. Luna's involvement also takes away from the actual story. My hope is, that you keep the romance to a minimum. Dumbledore attacking Harry seemed a bit trivial, because Dumbledore has to know that Harry would definitely retaliate after such an experience.

    I will gives this chapter a 3/5
     
  13. Voice of the Nephilim

    Voice of the Nephilim Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    I think that might have been intentional on the behalf of jbern, the interactions with Ginny, Luna, Susan and such to demonstrate how being among teenagers is driving him fucking insane, and he'll jump at the opportunity to be free from his obligation to charge the wards.
     
  14. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    HAHAHAHAHA

    Wait wait wait wait. XD

    JBERN got a novel he calls ORIGINAL by a company that has only published ONE other person?! ABRAXAN of all people?! And this is an accomplishment?

    Well, Jim, let me be the first to congradulate you and when your book makes you those millions we're all certain it will, be sure to remember us little, uncreative fucks wont you? XD

    But really... your book isnt all that original. The first one I can think of off the top of my head is The Eye, a 2002 Hong Kong movie redone this year with Jessica Alba.

    But, Jim?

    All things considered? No. The Eye predates your story, Im afraid. You should do a little research before you try to sound intelligent and arrogant. The Eye with Alba is a remake. ^_^ Just like the Ring and The Grudge.

    Still... Im fuckin LOLin at at this. Buffy meets the Eye. Best Seller material there, Jimmy, my man. XD
     
  15. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    I guess I'll answer by saying, "So".

    Don't want to read my novel, don't buy it, but it's nice to know you're reading my fanfics otherwise you wouldn't have wandered into my profile.

    Since I'm not a fan of foriegn films, I didn't realize the Alba movie was a remake. Of course stories about people who can see an interact with ghosts predate Hollywood and can go all the way back to early mythology.

    Am I going to make millions? Unlikely. I could have spent a few years shopping it around and go looking for an agent or I could use a contact that I've already made and publish now.

    My goal for Dead Eye is to sell between 5000 and 10000 copies. JKR aside, a print run, even for the major publishing houses is 10000 copies. 1000 copies is considered a success for a small press offering. 5000 is a big success. 10000 is huge.

    If I do make it to between 5000 and 10000, I can go to a large publisher with my next novel idea with proof that I can sell it. It's a lot easier to get on if you have some credentials.

    Want numbers dipshit, between my subscribers and John's we've got close to a 10000 person fanbase already. Now not everyone is going to shell out $15 or so for a book, but somewhere between 10 and 25 percent is a reasonable expectation. So, lets say we sell 1000-2500 books just to the fanbase. It's a success even before we market it to the general public.

    Am I quitting my day job? Nope. Still, I'm going to easily make between 3-5000 dollars just for writing what I consider a pretty cool story and entertaining people who like my writing. It's going to be a nice Christmas around my household.

    I'm a writer, I've got a publisher, and I am going to have successful small press release. Somehow, this is amusing to you. I'm laughing but mostly at you.
     
  16. BioPlague

    BioPlague The Senate DLP Supporter

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    I have millions of dollars.
     
  17. Coyote

    Coyote He howls n' stuff

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    Biowulf is a warrior poet, nigs, and he just won this thread.

    Good day.
     
  18. Nukular Winter

    Nukular Winter The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    [​IMG]
     
  19. BioPlague

    BioPlague The Senate DLP Supporter

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    SAM-OO-RYE. IT IS TOO LATE!

    [​IMG]
     
  20. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    This shit is about the only thing that beats Sree bashing A Second Chance At Life.
     
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