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WIP Turning of the Times by thenoacat

Discussion in 'Review Board' started by Taure, Feb 3, 2019.

  1. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I don't mind but which bits do you object to?

    I don't think I mentioned anything from the last handful of chapters nor anything I would consider a major spoiler.

    The Dark Mark maybe would be one, but Harry figures out who Quora is the first time that name is ever mentioned.

    I thought about using spoiler tags when I wrote that and decided not to.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2019
  2. why?

    why? Seventh Year

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    Mainly that bit. I haven't gotten that far yet, and assumed there was going to be more mystery around it. But if he figures it out quickly, fair enough.
     
  3. Skykes

    Skykes Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    It's not actually a mystery at all, the author could have had that as a story line but the conflict comes from other areas.
     
  4. Shouldabeenadog

    Shouldabeenadog Auror

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    I really enjoyed the first dozen chapters. Yes it could use some trimming, but I appreciated the effort and world building that went into it.
    And then the pen pal started, and it was ok, good for building tenaion, but I lost immersion. I lost track of Harry's character. I wanted to go back to more research and less convoluted politic. Then the memory charms show up and I stop caring.
    3.5/5. Library worthy, but only for the first dozen chapters. Edits and rewrite might bring it to fully worthy.
     
  5. Spanks

    Spanks Minister of Magic

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    Agree with @Ched. The story noticeably shifts gears once Quora shows up.

    I preferred the slice of life aspect of the early chapters as Harry researched magic and developed his own powers. Now, every chapter Harry is either curled up fetal position, crying, shaking, panicking, hyperventilating or puking. When’s the last time he’s actually tried to research time magic?

    Harry joining the Death Eaters literally makes no sense. He has made it clear he believes the past is set in stone and every thing that happened will happen. So, joining Voldemort to keep Snape and Regulus from getting their marks before graduation makes zero sense if they were fated to be marked. What does it matter if they were marked at 17 or 18?

    I mean, that’s some real fucking 3-Dimensional chess on Harry’s part. How’s that conversation going to go when he’s back in the 90s? “Hey guys, I time traveled back to the 1970s and joined the Death Eaters! I did it to make sure Voldemort recruited people at 18 instead of 17. Brilliant, amirite!?” Harry’s reasoning is weak and really pointless to sacrifice so much for so little.

    I’d give this story a 3/5. It was a 4/5, but the last 10 or so chapters have really been a drag on the story. Fifth year took a couple chapters, but 6th year is just taking forever to get through, and the above stuff I mention lower the score for me.
     
  6. Bobika

    Bobika First Year

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    If you are into Voldemort-mentor stories, this one's a winner for you.

    Alas, I'm not. I got so frustrated with this Harry that I had to close the story at some point and immediately read my favourite bad-ass Harry fic to calm down. I returned to the story, going straight to the last written chapter, hoping the plot has moved on. It hasn't.
    But this is a matter of personal preference. Objectively, the story is really well written, especially the start - that's what kept me reading for so long. It does have some issues that others have already commented on, especially the crawling pace in the latest chapters.
    The author obviously wanted to arrive at this Harry-Voldemort dynamics. She failed to convince me it was necessary or logical, though.

    Rating: It's not my cup of tea and I won't probably read on when it updates but still, it's an objective 4 out of 5.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2019 at 4:47 PM