Shit Fanon: Harry and Hermione are true looooove (TM) but the Weasleys, gold diggers and Dumbles Stooges that they are, separated them.

Twist: Hermione is the real gold digger. She wanted Harry for the name recognition (both as Boy-Who-Lived and as the scion of an old Pureblood family), wealth (her parents were financially stable, but the Potters were Old Money), and malleability (Harry, despite his lineage, is essentially a muggleborn and thus would have similar viewpoints as herself). She would remove - sometimes lethally - all that are in her way.

Double twist: Harry actually knows and dropped hints so he has an alibi while Hermione takes out his enemies, those that he couldn't serve justice to after the Second War ended.

 

Shit Fanon: Goblins are desperately waiting for their snowflake "Saviour" to appear to give away dozen titles to Old Families, their vaults and properties. It is always Harry, because he says something corny like "May the blood of your enemies flow as rivers!"

Twist: Goblins are extremely offended, attack Harry, who barely (thanks to Hagrid) manages to get out. Goblins swear deathly retribution for his insult should he ever step foot in Gringotts again. In addition they demand Official Apology from the Wizards World before they allow another wizard enter the bank. It is a huge scandal that leads to yet another Goblin Rebellion. (on the bright side, Quirrelmort's plans for that day are completely ruined)

Twist 2: They bamboozle Harry into accepting all said Titles, Properties and Vaults, while charging extortionate service charges, roping him into Slavery contract to clean their loos for next 7 years, robbing him blind of every single knut, and settling massive fines and depts on his shoulders.

 

Twist 1b: turns into a major advantage for Harry and the Order, because Voldemort and his Death Eaters lost their major advantage, with their finances hamstrung.

Twist 2b: turns into a major advantage for Harry when Voldemort tried to kill him, forcing the goblins to defend their property. Dumbledore gleefully turned to the policy of "let them fight".

 

Inspired by Oruma's previous trope twist.

Shit Fanon: Ginny doses Harry with a love potion in HBP to make him like her.

Twist: Hermione is the one who actually dosed him with a love potion, but when she was brewing it she just randomly grabbed a hair from her robes which turned out to be Ginny's hair. It's the polyjuice incident all over again. The reason she is so bent out of shape over his sudden interest in potions is that she is worried about him finding out she is trying to seduce him with love potions.

Double Twist: Harry finds out, and he is really upset...that she got the wrong hair. After all, he almost hooked up with someone who he once thought reminded him of Dobby.* He is going to have to have a long talk with her in the nearest broom cupboard about this.

*Yes, that is canon. "Harry suddenly realized who Ginny looked like. She was rocking backward and forward slightly in her chair, exactly like Dobby did..."

 

Shit fanon: Harry goes back in time and using his future knowledge outwits Voldemort at every turn, saving almost everyone and finally defeating the Dark Lord all while gloating about how he knew Voldemort's every move from the start.

Twist: After first year with a fucking eleven year old of all things defeating him at every turn, Voldemort correctly deduces that Harry is a time traveller and stops relying on his long term plans. He mixes up his plans and starts taking proactive action against a time traveller that might know everything, including his deepest secret.

 

Sticking with the time travel trope.

Shit fanon: Harry goes back in time taking over the body of his younger self.

Twist: He doesn't go back in time. Instead, he sees the future during his Divination final in 3rd year, but thinks that Trelawney must have been correct when she said they probably both dozed off because there is no way that he would ever marry Ginny much less name his kid Albus Serverus. To his increasing horror, the scenes he saw seem to be coming true, and he must work fast to save his godfather and prevent that abomination from ever being born.

 

I hate double posting, but whatever. Here is Love Potion 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Shit fanon: The Weasleys are dosing Harry and Hermione with love potions so that they will fall in love with Ginny and Ron. Thereby preventing Harry and Hermione from discovering their true love for each other.

Twist: The Weasleys are dosing Harry and Hermione with a love potion, but one that causes them to fall in love with each other. The Weasleys are of the belief that it is perfectly okay to have half-blood, part veela, and muggleborn friends, but you can't marry them. If the Malfoy family represent the overt racists then the Weasleys are the but I have a plug collection so I can't be racist racists.

Double Twist: The Weasley and Malfoy feud stems from the fact that the Weasleys look down on the Malfoy family for valuing money and status over increasing the number of pure-bloods in the world. A little personal sacrifice is needed for the cause. A proper pure-blood family should have as many kids as they can barely afford.

 

Shit fanon: Ron is a Death Eater because he has always been such a terrible, bigoted person. Often accompanied by Harry/Hermione.

Twist: He becomes quick friends with Crabbe and Goyle, who sympathize with him because they know how it feels to be treated as useless idiots. From there, Ron only becomes more and more enamored by the only 2 people who actually understand him for once in his life...

 

This is great, I nearly snorted out my coffee through my nostrils.

 

Further twist: Its nothing to do with being understood, and everything to do with them being the only 2 who can challenge him in an eating contest. They bond over pumpkin pasties and chicken legs.

 

Shit fanon:
Young Harry, abused by the Dursleys, is discovered by [insert character here], who rescues them and places Harry in a loving home. This discovery that their saviour was abused under Dumbledore's watch destroy his credibility, stopping his evil schemes in their tracks. Then the Potter will is discovered, freeing Sirius and proving Pettigrew was the traitor. This leads to Voldemort's deepest secret being easily discovered and neutralised. And some very helpful goblins remove the horcrux from Harry's scar in five minutes flat.

Twist:
The discovery that Harry was abused under Dumbledore's watch destroys his credibility, forcing him to resign as Headmaster and damaging his political influence. This allows the pureblood faction to secure a firmer grip on society, undercutting any progressive gains made over the last century.

Meanwhile, with no living non-abusive family members, a number of families petition to become Harry's guardians. With Dumbledore powerless to block him, Lucius Malfoy, ever the friend and confident of Minister Fudge, is a shoe in for the role and quickly takes Harry under his wing. With a history of abuse at the hands of muggles, it doesn't take long for Lucius to craft Harry Potter into a young and upcoming blood supremacist like his son.

 

I'm honestly surprised Harry didn't become a blood supremacist. He had abusive muggle relatives, no other muggles really tried to help him at all. It would have been so easy for any Pureblood to convince him of their side.

 

Would it really? Parents killed by Voldemort, mother a muggleborn, friends with bloodtraitors (Weasleys) and muggleborns (Hermione).

 

Eh, I don't know about 'easy,' but you could write an AU where it's plausible. Even then, it only makes sense if you're talking about Harry joining snooty traditionalists rather than Death Eaters. They killed his family, and Harry has an innate sense of justice that makes him want to protect the vulnerable. If you want to argue that he shouldn't have had that innate heroism, then we're no longer talking about canon Harry.

 

Yes, that's pretty much what I'm talking about. If Harry had never met Ron at the train, or Hermione, then who else would he have? Some muggleborn mother who he never even met?

If he was taken in my someone like the Malfoys who "saved" him from the Dursleys and was then raised to despise Muggles, you could bet that he would hate most of them. Best scenario is that he admits that there's "exceptions" to the rule like his mother.

 

Shit Fanon: Harry takes a bunch of memory vials which download the contents of a 7 year education in his brain. He wakes up with all the information and skill.

Twist: The memories progress in real time, and you're supposed to use them as supplemental education or for homeschooling. Harry not knowing this dies of dehydration 3 days in, having no idea how to leave the memories and having picked a private place to view them

Twist the Second: Part of the setup is a spell that keeps you nourished and hydrated. Harry not knowing the memories progress in real time and not knowing how to leave if he did, wakes in 7 years having gone through life from someone else's perspective, and coming back to a Voldemort lead dystopia.

But at least he's had a rounded education.

 

Unless Harry was completely stupid he would know why he is an orphan. Malfoys treating him nicely does not change the bigger issue: blood purity.

Harry is a halfblood at best.

 

You're forgetting the reason he needs 'saving' at all is because Voldemort killed his parents. I would argue that the worse his childhood was, the more he would come to hate and resent Voldemort, and in turn, his movement. This, more so than his character and blood status, is why it would never make sense for Harry to become a blood purist, or worse, a death eater. Which makes all kinds of sense, because after Voldemort 'marked' him, they were destined to become bitter enemies, not only due to the prophecy, but because you can't really walk back from killing someone's mom and pops.

 

Harry/Harem Trope

Shit Fanon: Harry discovers he's the heir to five noble houses, and has to take a wife for each one. He considers himself the luckiest man alive. He marries Hermione, Fleur, Daphne, Susan, and Ginny, uses the power of lurve to kill Voldemort, and they all move in together at Potter Manor.

Twist: Harry discovers that keeping five wives happy is incredibly difficult and outrageously expensive. To his immense disappointment, none of his wives is bisexual, and each is jealous of his attention. His house is constantly full of in-laws, cousins, and screaming children. By age 40, he is broke and suicidal, willing to do anything to escape the presence of his nagging harem and 23 spoiled children. All was not well.