1. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Q3 2019 Story Competition entries are up folks! Reviewing open untill TOMORROW! (September 24th)

    Once you have reviewed, you can rank your top three
    Dismiss Notice

WIP Victoria Potter by Taure - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by LinguaManiac, Nov 29, 2017.

  1. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    402
    Victoria Potter has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 20
    Words: 137,196
    Updated: 2019-09-09 07:51:29 UTC
    Published: 2017-11-04 19:13:13 UTC
    Previously updated: about 2 months ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  2. Glimmervoid

    Glimmervoid Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2011
    Messages:
    358
    Location:
    UK
    Good chapter. One question. You mention that the Wizards abandoned the tradition of moving between country and city, and decamped to the country. But don't the Blacks have what is clearly an in-use London townhouse?
     
  3. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    5,819
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Blocksberg, Germany
    Yeah. But then the Blacks are also dead, insane, in Azkaban, or all of the above. Which is to say, the fact that they still have a, very rundown, townhouse, is a case in point, in my eyes.
     
  4. Glimmervoid

    Glimmervoid Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2011
    Messages:
    358
    Location:
    UK
    True, but the retreat to the country happened centuries ago. The Blacks spiral into oblivion happened far more recently.
     
  5. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    5,819
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Blocksberg, Germany
    Well, I was going more for the other way round -- the fact that they still have a townhouse means (in VP) the decline was going on for some time already. But you can invent any number of other reasonings, of course. I have no clue here :)
     
  6. Jarizok

    Jarizok Professor

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2015
    Messages:
    476
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Netherlands
    I’m coming straight out with it. I didn’t really like this chapter.

    The history of Casa Malfoy felt like a mini documentary in the middle of the chapter and it took me out of Victoria’s head. This goes hand in hand with getting a description of daily life at the Malfoy’s followed by Vicky’s first day, which feels like it should be the other way around.

    I like the homey scene and Narcissa in particular, but I can’t imagine it going anywhere. Reminds me of whatever Newcomb said about scenes having purpose beyond just being there.

    I can nitpick the ball itself, but this isn’t WBA and the gist of it is that the flow felt off to me this chapter.

    Still eagerly await the next chapter of course!
     
  7. Dresden11

    Dresden11 Third Year

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2014
    Messages:
    106
    I enjoyed this chapter. It didn't have the amazingness of the last rain of Autumn, but the deep magic hints at the end of the chapter were very interesting. The look into the lives of the uber wealthy of the wizarding world was a good one. We get to see why all these purebloods see their way of life as great and not needing to be changed. Heck, even the less wealthy purebloods, such as the Bones, get to live very luxuriously. Thus we get comments like Daphne's when talking about muggleborns, "What needs to be fixed? Isn't everything already good?". Most muggleborns probably never get to see this side of the magical world though. The worldbuilding is really well done to me.

    Swann's description of the Ministry against the Titans of the magical world was also interesting. Though that didn't seem to work out well with Grindelwald (or Voldemort for that matter) since he rampaged as he pleased and was only taken down by another heavyweight. And it was interesting to ask Victoria about it. I wonder if Swann assumes Victoria will rise to those ranks in the future?

    I am really curious about the deep magics. Hopefully the is the first thing Victoria looks up when back at Hogwarts (if she doesn't ask Lucius after the ball) either through Dumbledore or the Restricted Section. I can easily see that being a fascinating journey as she explores those magics as the years go by.

    This isn't so much to do with this chapter but the 2nd year as a whole. Does anyone else get the feeling that Hermione is going to die at some point? She is always in the background of this fic. I am not sure how many actual lines she has had, but she is always there competing against Victoria in some way during classes. She just seems like a perfect character to off in the finale.

    Good stuff, Taure. Please keep up the great work!
     
  8. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,710
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    High Score:
    13,152
    I don't normally comment as I think it's generally best to let the story speak for itself, but this is something sufficiently unrelated to the plotline that I think I can allow myself.

    I take it as a rule that for any societal fashion or tendency, there will be outliers and exceptions. So I don't think one family bucking the trend would really be worthy of note.

    However, this is also a case of "be careful what you assume". For me the Black family townhouse has always suggested that they're not in the same league as the Malfoys in terms of wealth. Even though such houses are these days quite expensive, for many years you could buy them for not much money at all, and there are plenty of proper detached mansions in London that impressively wealthy families could buy.

    So I would not assume that the Blacks have a manor-like country residence to retreat to in the first place.
     
  9. Erotic Adventures of S

    Erotic Adventures of S Denarii Host

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Messages:
    2,362
    Location:
    New Zealand
    I wonder if the Death Eater was a real threat, a guest who took a chance. I don’t think that likely as it almost seems clumsy.

    Or a set up, never a actually threat but a show to force Alex to move in a certain direction. And if so who set it up.
     
  10. headbanger

    headbanger Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Messages:
    265
    Young man with sand-coloured hair, that wouldn't happen to be Barty, would it?
     
  11. Saez

    Saez Professor

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2016
    Messages:
    469
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    High Score:
    0
    What a blasphemous un-fanon thing to suggest, the Black family being poor?

    That'd be great honestly, if they weren't rich like the Malfoys just rabid about pureblood supremacy. And Sirius didnt really leave Harry much anyways in canon.

    Alright, getting back to the story I really liked this chapter myself though the Death Eater did stand out to me as being a bit wooden. Especially the 'deep magic' part, but that might've just been them being unstable. The blond hair did make me think of Barty Crouch Jr, but it could be anyone. I doubt it was a set-up by any known characters at this point as its unlikely to be the Malfoys.

    Overall I'm still really enjoying the worldbuilding and the pureblood culture aspects.
     
  12. wox2d

    wox2d DA Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2018
    Messages:
    165
    Gender:
    Male
    I enjoyed the most recent chapter for shirking fanon conventions on two of my biggest annoyances: Pureblood culture and Malfoy influence of the Ministry.

    It's so nice to read about political scheming and influence that isn't just brute force and throwing money at it. Draco's line about people listening to his father because they like him just goes to show how this story is attempting to tackle a lot of the things fanon does, but in a much more realistic way. Political power isn't as childish or easy as is often portrayed.

    Also nice job with coming up with a plausible sounding law in the Muggle Protection Act rather than something overblown like a Turn All Muggleborns Into Sex Slaves Act.

    Add the Pureblood ball which is more of a magically augmented British high society party than a Pagan cult ritual and you've got one of the most enjoyable "Malfoy Manor" chapters I've read.

    I also appreciate the bits of world expansion like Lord of the Wand, which as of now I'm picturing a bit as some sort of magical nuclear football. I also like how you've set up a viewpoint I can't recall seeing before, where the Ministry isn't just about keeping wizards separated from Muggles, but also about protecting the "normal" wizards from particularly gifted ones like Dumbledore potentially turning into tyrants.

    Good job as always, Taure. Though I still do feel like Victoria's focus on her appearance (the nails in this chapter) seems to have come out of nowhere starting with second year. That's my only real quibble overall, but maybe that's my own perspective where I didn't really care about how I looked until sixteen or so.
     
  13. Wyatt Jones

    Wyatt Jones First Year

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2018
    Messages:
    24
    Gender:
    Male
    Yet when she had faced the troll, she'd barely known the right way to hold her wand. This time, she was trained. Thistime, she could fight back.


    Missed a space.
     
Loading...