That climax was epic, just imagine how good it could look on screen.
I don't claim to be a fan-fiction pro but I really haven't read anything this good like ever. That originality is no joke, it makes me inspired to improve my writing.

Spoiler

Best description of AK and it's effects hands down, really makes you understand how scary and powerful Voldemort is. Honestly Voldemort's power is under appreciated in the fandom. Poor Susan I hope her mind isn't fucked up badly. The guilt, whatever casting AK did to her and then getting mind fucked several times...

 

A reader on FF.Net did some VP fanart:

Edit: never mind, was actually a photoshop of the title on a pre-existing artwork. Still, I appreciate the sentiment.

 

I got you fam.

 

I told you my opinion about the whole Charms thing and you told me to just wait. I haven't read since but I'm caught up now and I really hate to admit this... Yeah, you had it handled.

Though I'll admit to being slightly disappointed at the lack of Amelia fucking squashing Lockhart.

 

I think my favorite part of the newest chapter is the sheer emotion the girls feel. Victoria is terrified. Susan is sobbing. It feels like the actual emotions of 12 year old girls caught up in a situation beyond their control where they believe they will be killed. Great job nailing that on the head, Taure.

The consequences from this chapter will also be very interesting. If Lockhart was able to memory charm Susan, who knows what she will believe happened. I don't know if it will be different here, but in canon it was almost impossible to break a memory charm without breaking the person's mind ala Bertha Jenkins (Jerkins?). That will be an interesting thread to see unraveled. I am also interested in how much Dumbledore already knew. Did he suspect Lockhart was trying to kill Victoria? I expect to see a conversation coming up with Dumbledore where Albus reveals the truth of Riddle's opening the Chamber and his suspicions about Lockhart. This will lead to Victoria explaining the diary to him. That is my guess on the situation anyway. I would find it interesting but strange if she keeps the diary into the summer and 3rd year.

There was a mention between Lockhart and Snape of Snape looking into students' eyes again. This really shows how much more competent Lockhart is in VP that he would know about Legilimency. But that made me think of the game Victoria always sucks at. It sure would be nice if she learned Legilimency to stop losing at the game so much. I can almost see that being the reason she first tries out the Art. This would lead her into Occlumency and the Mind Arts later on as well as more conversations with Snape and Dumbledore on her skills.

I am curious about another pass to the Restricted Section. Her pass from year 1 from Snape is about to expire. But I can't see her being long without that resource since all her alchemy research is from there. So either she goes to Dumbledore for a new pass or she reveals her knowledge of alchemy to Flamel and he is impressed enough to give her the pass. It will be interesting to see where you take that side plot.

It was a really fun year. You have completely twisted the 2nd year plot, but it is still recognizable. Its very well done, Taure. I can't wait to see the wrap up of 2nd year and what new surprises you have planned for 3rd year. I just wish Victoria had a way to continue growing her skills during the summer instead of stagnating. Maybe a summer assignment of some kind that she can accomplish around muggles? Keep up the great work!

 

I really hope this doesn't happen. I've previously said how much I want to see Diary Riddle teaching deep magic to Victoria, and I think this is possible with the current story line. No attack goes unexplained, no real Chamber of Secrets has been opened and no basilisk has roamed the halls of Hogwarts.

At the end of the day, Lockhart is an evil guy who took advantage of old tales to write a new one for himself. There is no connection to Voldemort. Remember in the original series Dumbledore figures out Horcruxes only after he finds out about the Diary (or at the very least the Diary is what truly confirms that Voldemort made Horcruxes in his quest for immortality) and Dumbledore told Victoria nothing about the real shade of Voldemort living inside Quirrell. From the end of first year:

No reason to tell her of Tom Riddle now. And there's no reason for Victoria not to keep the diary for now. Yes things are not as they seemed to be, but if she confronts Diary Riddle there's no reason for him to be ousted for lying. After all Hagrid was raising an acromantula inside Hogwarts. Even if Victoria thoroughly searches history archives and chases rumours of the opening of the Chamber (frankly I can't imagine her doing that), Diary Riddle can easily "realize" that he'd made a mistake with Hagrid.

 

What I'm wondering is if Dumbledore informed the Ministry/the Aurors/Barty Crouch/Amelia Bones/Whichever Warlocks that have the power to act that the Dark Lord was possessing/directly influencing/in control of Professor Quirrell during that incident. (Admittedly, part of this hypothesis is based on Taure's The One He Feared canon, where Barty Crouch and Amelia Bones were listed as people who could directly stand up to Voldemort)

It will be something interesting to follow.... Voldemort successfully framed Hagrid and Aragog the Acromantula at the beginning so no non-Death Eater would know that Lord Voldemort is actually the Heir of Slytherin. And as it stands right now, Lockhart has inadvertently corroborated that story while using another acromantula.

AND, the diary is still in possession of Victoria. And she has just mastered the goshawk, an aspect of magic she learned directly from Tom Riddle Jr. Good golly gosh what a story.

 

I would be surprised if this ends with Hagrid in trouble. Is the implication that Lockhart imported his own Acromantula or am I misreading it?

Because the Hogwarts Acromantulas through Aragog could tell Hagrid if one of their own, likely one of their senior members, since this Acromantula is pretty big, is being used by Lockhart.

 

I saw some speculation in the AO3 comments that the ministry somehow showed up because of the Victoria finally mastering the goshawk but I don't really buy it. I think Taure is implying that they have a way to track the Killing Curse and that Susan's failed attempt was still powerful enough to alert them (also, it has a negative impact on Susan for casting it is super cool).

I enjoyed that the Unforgivables don't seem to be common knowledge and I'm wondering if Voldemort actually invented the Killing Curse specifically. Perhaps through Deep Magic we'll explore spell creation?

All exciting stuff. If no one ever finds out about the diary we have more potential for Victoria to head down a dangerous path, and get herself or her friends even more hurt. Great update, excited for the future.

 

For me, it sounded like Lockhart alerted the Ministry, probably to make his story more credible. If his plan had worked out, he could have blamed the Dark Lord for killing Victoria and said that it was him who fought him off.

 

Not to put the people who said this down, but come on, seriously?

The ministry being alerted by either the casting of the killing curse (which I find a bit implausible, unless it has to do specifically with it being cast by a minor/trace) or by Lockhart himself as the epilogue of his grand scheme, is much more likely.

And by much more likely I mean something like 10^1000000000 times more likely.

 

I believe the " false alarm" was someone reporting to see the dark mark in the sky. When Snape realized he wouldn't be able to get to Victoria he activated his, someone saw and alerted the ministry.

 

Why do you think it was the Dark Mark? (In Canon the Ministry did mobilize hard when the Dark Mark was cited.)

And why do you think it was Snape? (Although Taure did set up that one feels a tug when owing a debt to someone, so maybe Snape felt a tug on his magic to defend Victoria, if his debt to James Potter Carrie's over.)

 

The entire ministry shows up for the fight. If they're able to track the killing curse i can see them mobilize a small elite group of aurors - but...

Everyone shows up. So the ministry is taking this incredibly seriously. Which begs the question of "whats major enough to get them to mobilize like this?". Seeing the dark mark and the possibility of Voldemort returning might just be it.

I believe this is the foreshadowing to it.

Snape himself won't be able to show up and save them because his hands are tied, but he could use the dark mark alerting others something is wrong and get them to help. In canon the dark mark isn't widely known so Lockhart's "Meticulous planning" goes tits up when he didn't factor it in.

 

The Acromantulas informed Hagrid.

 

Feeling like the brass bell Ameila had is important. My speculation is it's tracing the killing curse somehow but Snape setting off a Dark Mark is something I never considered.

 

I do love me some OWL and elective choices. My list would probably be pretty close to Vicky's, maybe Greek/Hieroglyphics/Music instead of (canon) Divination though.

I guess it's a mildly disappointing list for me, because there's nothing properly theoretical like spell-creation or magical theory. Analogous to further maths in the UK A levels.

Also hahahahaha imagine Vicky's reaction when (if) Hermione gets the time-turner to do 12 OWLs.

 

What a beautiful story. The Wizarding World has never been so alive. How do you even come up with such detailed descriptions of a magical setting that is truly different from our own? It is as if you've lived in it

Firstly, I love Victoria. This is the first time I'm reading a female protagonist that actually feels like a girl and not just a gender-swapped Harry Potter - she cares about her looks, doesn't like flying,, isn't good at dueling. This is, of course, not to say girls can't be adventurous or daring or anything like that Tracey and Daphne are both presented as that. But Victoria here is her own person with her own interests and talents - she is a typical girl and just reading that is delightful.

But even more impressive than that is how you've presented childhood. They all feel like children - genuine 11-12 year olds, playing in the mud, playing games, chatting away, sneaking out, just everything about them is like actual children. Then the ways you introduce the coming of adolescence with the fascination with older boys, the "talk", defying authority etc.

The plot is completely different from the original in so many ways, both because of the way Victoria acts and the changes you've made to the setting itself. I'm genuinely eager to read more because I don't know what will happen in the future as if this isn't a fanfic at all.

I really don't have the words to give this story the praise it deserves. 5/5 no question. Two years are complete. I can't wait for the third year.

 

QUICK ADDITION:
O_O I was writing this post and suddenly a new chapter came up! Wohoo! Third Christmas!

1. Arcane Art and Diabolical Design (I like the sound of it)
2. Defence Against the Dark Arts
3. Herbology
4. Music...why not?
5. Ancient Runes
6. Latin
7. Care of Magical Creatures
8. History of Magic


All of these could be useful and seem fun for me.
I wonder what Arcane Art and Diabolical Design is all about?
Herbology is too useful to disregard even if you don't like plants.
The only reason I never studied latin in real life is because I would never have any practical use of it.
I don't think I would ever care about Astronomy.
I always loved history even if I didn't care about the dates much.
Care of Magical Creatures.: Without question. JK Rowling herself most often turned that subject into a joke but in theory, those should have been the most fun classes.

 

I wonder what are the limits of her metamorphmagus talent, I was sure she was going to heal herself and didn't see a reason for why she couldn't, there was no dark magic stopping her from piecing herself back together, or why running scared her in the test, can't she just make herself athletic (and if stopping in place and focusing on changing was an option during the test, refresh her body to remove exhaustion), I think you should explore this talent more in the future so we know what the limits are, because if I let my memory run, I can't really think of reasons why she can't stop her aging when she grows up (and I doubt you will give her eternal youth so easily even if she will get it at some point).