Not only is it going to be hard to prove it, but even harder to get it back, getting it back could mean enlisting others to help him, meaning he would have to admit that he does in fact have an invisibility cloak, and if he flat out accuses Malfoy of having it that means admitting to the Slytherins, and his enemy that said cloak exists, meaning he can't deny having one in the future. Him losing the cloak is interesting, but severely out of character for this story, this whole story has revolved around the fact that Harry is smarter and more driven than his classmates, and that he doesn't make rash decisions (like how he responded to Malfoy's challenging him to a duel).

This story is good, really good, the writing is solid, and it is different enough to hold my interest. I guess the only two problems I have with it are that he has spent the entire year trying to solve this one problem, and while he is learning loads of information along the way, and doing it for a good reason, however, besides a few leads, he doesn't seem any closer to figuring out how to remove the trace. Also, I don't like how Harry geniuenly doesn't seem to like his classmates, other than Hermoine, and occasionally Cedric, Tonks, and Katie, we don't see any regular interaction, and even this interaction (minus Hermoine) is far and few between.
Those two things aside I'd give the story a solid 3.5/5.

 

Great fic love the characterization 4/5

 

Off the top of my head I can think of three ways to get it back.

1. Sneak into the Slytherin dorms and steal it.
2. Blackmail Malfoy into returning it.
3. Dumbledore knows it's Harry's, so just go to Dumbledore and ask for his help. Given that it's a Hallow, I doubt Dumbledore wants Malfoy to have it.

 

Updated, brilliant chapter so far. Edit back with more later.

 

Good story. I look forward to the next one.

 

I thought it was a solid finish. The buildup about removing the trace is finally resolved, but their new freedom is left to be utilized in the next story, which I thought was a nice touch. I continue to like Harry's portrayal, particularly from when Harry goes to meet Voldemort to the hospital wing scene.

I would give the finished product a 4.5/5, only because a few minor foibles detracted from the piece. Definitely waiting for the sequel, though.

 

This fic has only gotten better and as long as it keeps going I think it will be a classic. Hermione was portrayed well and unlike earlier chapters, Harry didn't come off like a cock.

All I have left to say is Hermione/Harry/Katie. I want.

4.5/5

 

Lol Sesc, you can never get over your hatred of Hermione. That was the most important part of the entire story: it shows how much Harry is like Tom Riddle (he was going to let three of his friends go to their deaths - note how Dumbledore at the end said that that was what Tom Riddle would have done) but with a tiny difference (he does in fact care about some people enough to care if they die - Hermione).

You're blinded by your hate of the character of Hermione. You've taken the fact that Harry cares if she dies, which displays only that he has some basic semblance of humanity, but seen it though your Hermione-hate goggles and translated it into "her well-being would override his own desires so totally".

This is not a Dark Lord Harry story. If you thought it was going to be then you're retarded.

My review:

Nice ending, the fic as a whole has a very polished and neat feel to it, and you didn't drag it out longer than it needed to be. Harry's characterisation continues to be great - like Tom Riddle but with a few differences. When Dumbledore mentioned a difference being him going after his friends, one couldn't help but remember how he planned to not go after Dean et al.

A couple of nitpicks this chapter...

This seems to me to be rather false, and is one of my most hated peeves in fanfiction - exaggerating the discrimination against Muggleborns. As a whole, discrimination against Muggleborns in the magical world is seen in much the same was as discrimination against black people is in ours - that is to say, very few believe in it, and moreover, it is a politically incorrect position that no one would ever publically admit to. For instance, the word Mudblood and the way it is seen is clearly a parallel with "the N word". The only reason why the Blood Purity movement had any significance to it was not because of the proliferation of the belief, but because some of the believers happened to be powerful individuals (Voldemort, Lucius Malfoy).

NERD RAAAAAGE. After such originality with magical theory such as the Trace, to see you revert back to such cliche and unsophisticated "wizards are magic batteries" almost made me close the story there and then. I realise authors often revert to this magical theory to make writing easier on themselves (limiting characters by limiting their magic is easier to write than limiting them due to other means), but I wouldn't have thought you one (or rather three) to take shortcuts.

This, to me, seems like a rather obvious attempt to un-super Harry from his previous extreme competence. A completely unnecessary attempt, as we already know that people like Tom Riddle and Dumbledore had similar levels of competence, and they are who Harry is modeled after, is it not? He who conquers?

Moreover, it simply doesn't make sense when looking at the rest of the story. If anything, it is the opposite way around. Hermione is the one who reads loads about magic and Harry is the one with the instinctual true understanding of how it works. Though of course Harry reads loads too. Think back to Charms club. Hermione Granger, while a competent witch, would never have been able to cast those OWL level charms in First year like Harry did.

Unless you're supering Hermione up, she isn't even as good as James Potter/Lily Potter/Snape/Sirius, never mind on the level of Tom Riddle/Albus Dumbledore. She's pretty much the smartest student Hogwarts saw since... Percy Weasley, who got more OWLs than her. She does well and knows a few things maybe a year or two ahead of her peers (e.g. protean charm, a NEWT level spell, in 5th year), but that's all. She doesn't have the creative spark or instincts with magic that all the other great magic users have.

This doesn't feel like a description of well-done Legilimency. In fact, it seems the exact opposite - the sign of well done legilimency is that the victim doesn't even know what's happening. Think Voldemort in the atrium in OotP - he read Harry's mind without Harry even noticing. Or indeed Voldemort in PS, where he knew Harry was lying. It's a subtle art, not a battering ram.

 

I totally agree with Sesc. The story had so much fucking potential, but Harry suddenly turned out to be a pussy... And why exactly couldn't he lose Hermione? With Trace gone he didn't need anyone's help.

God, I liked this fic so much...

 

Well, me too...

And, Taure, you might have a point there, but still the wording of the scene simply screamed - freaking setup for a H/Hr ship.

Another fic that this one reminds me of is from the "The wise one series", the second book. I did enjoy the first book a lot, but stopped reading the second somewhere along the time where the character of Harry made the point of saving/improving the day of every single angsty teen.
I haven't read anything from it, further from that point, so I can't comment on how the fic turned out, and I admit that if it wasn't for a great dislike for Hermione's character on general principle I might have enjoyed the fic somewhat.

 

I mostly agree with Taure, here. I wasn't disappointed at all by the ending. This is a Harry who is much more similar to Tom Riddle in personality and values than canon Harry. He went after the one person who he can really say is a friend and not just a friendly aquaintance, proving he has some small shred of humanity.

On the other hand, yes, that it's Hermione he goes after makes me apprehensive about a sudden onset of love for the Know-it-All. However, I think the authors have shown skill enough to avoid this, and I hope they do.

To summarize, I really liked it...even if parts 2-7 could go either way.

 

And this is why character development is called development. Because a character can start out one way, and then change. Such as making a friend for their usefulness, then coming to genuinely appreciate their company, and then coming to genuinely like them. Which is what we saw happen here.

The thing is, if he gets into the position where he cares about her, as he did, then it's already too late. If you care about someone then you don't want to distance yourself from them for the exact reason that you care for them. Any distancing would have to occur before you care for them.

And the point about his humanity seems to be consistent to me. He's still an arsehole, just not quite as much as Tom Riddle was. Enough of an arsehole to let an acquaintance die if it benefits him, but not enough to let his single friend die.

 

When Harry decided he didn't want to let Hermione die, he should have saved her and stayed with her, not gone further to needlessly fight Voldemort or save the glory seeking dumb children. And he should have berated Hermione severely to make her promise to never do something stupid like that again, instead of being so glad she's alive and telling her everything's going to be all right while he tenderly carries her bridal style. It is OOC for him, or bad character development/writing, whatever you want to call it. Saving her proves he is not like Tom Riddle in that he does have a friend, and not going further proves he isn't dumb. And making her behavior into a lesson for her makes it in character rather than a contrived shippy fic.

 

hahahahha oh thats amusing

I must say I enjoyed this, though I agree with Sesc it would have nice to have Hermy die.

 

I personally loved the last chapter, while there were a few issues, see what Taure said for example, it overall, is still far far better than many that try to be like it. At least, in my opinion.

5/5 from me.

 

New story from nos tres reges,

Title: VULTUS SERPENTIS
Category: Harry Potter
Character(s): Harry P.
Words: 10,457
Genre(s): Adventure/General
Rating: Rated: T
Summary: No slash. His own feet fell inside the footprints of both giants and
monsters. He could not help but ask himself which he was.

URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5438875/1/

And thus the anticipated sequel begins...

 

Ho-ho-ho-holy fuckin' shit LAWL.

 

That has to be the most awesome authors note I have seen... pretty much ever I think.