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What He Eats by Alchemia

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Anomie, May 24, 2008.

  1. Anomie

    Anomie First Year

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2006
    Messages:
    24
    Title: What He Eats
    Author: Alchemia
    Rating: T
    Genre: Action/Adventure
    DLP Category: General
    Pairing: N/A
    Status: Complete
    Summary: "After Hepzibah's death, Voldemort sets out to find the Noah-like Utnapishtimn, an unique case of a human who has escaped death."

    Link: http://community.livejournal.com/riddle_gifts/9639.html?style=mine


    The fic is pretty interesting and different IMO. Voldemort sets off to find the secrets of immortality, meets some characters from Babylonian legends, meets some Babylonian gods, and some future allies. The style (sort of mythic and the fading-in-and-out of the damaged discs) was kinda cool too.
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2008
  2. The Dark Monarch

    The Dark Monarch Backtraced

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    638
    Location:
    Stuck in the bleeding hot desert
    Have you read the stickies or are you just stumbling around blindly?
     
  3. Methene

    Methene Auror

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2007
    Messages:
    688
    Location:
    Bucharest, Romania
    Here, I'll fix this for you:

    Title: What He Eats
    Author: Alchemia
    Rating: T
    Genre: Action/Adventure
    DLP Category: General
    Pairing: N/A
    Status: WIP
    Summary: After Hepzibah's death, Voldemort sets out to find the Noah-like Utnapishtimn, an unique case of a human who has escaped death.

    Link: http://community.livejournal.com/rid...tml?style=mine

    Now I haven't actually read it, so I can't comment. The premise is interesting, but it seems rather short and the location being Livejournal gives me second thoughts.

    Actually, I glanced at it now, and I don't recommend it. Let me give you an example of a "chapter":

    For six days and seven nights, the sun rose and set.
    For six days and seven nights, Voldemort drank an alertness potion.
    For six days and seven nights, Utnapishtim's wife marked the time by baking a loaf of bread.
    For six days and seven nights, Voldemort ate fresh bread drizzled with honey and milk.
    For six days and seven nights, time stood still.

    I like mine a little less surrealist and longer.
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2008
  4. Lucullus

    Lucullus High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2007
    Messages:
    575
    Location:
    Classified
    The writing is actually pretty good, but my enjoyment of the fic is adversely affected by the fact that there are so many missing chunks of text.

    3/5
     
  5. Ikaros Mephisto

    Ikaros Mephisto First Year

    Joined:
    May 23, 2008
    Messages:
    23
    Location:
    Sweden
    I was very wary of this ficlet, I can't really bring myself to call it a fic. It's not long enough. I went in expecting to give this a 1/5 but it surprised me somewhat.

    At first blush it appears well written, nothing that stood out to me. The presentation is unusual to say the least: Chapters that come forth as though having been recovered from outdated 3.5-inch floppy disks
    . The whole
    asking the Gods
    aspect of the ficlet made me cringe somewhat, that tends to be written quite badly.

    The Author seems to have made a bit of a double premise, both answering a challenge, (the author calls it a "request") and the added premise of "saving" a long lost fic, with text from this supposed "lost" fic being missing.

    At first the presentation annoyed me. It came off as though the Author had just written out ideas and didn't know how to combine them. After a while the presentation stopped being bothersome and instead the author came off as being lousy at restoration. And I did find myself starting to like this, but the presentation still needs work. It's different and therefore harder to swallow, making it need to have higher standards.

    I'd say close to 3/5 for overall story and being able to pull off the idea, but really it lands itself on 2/5 due to the presentation issues. I’d only recommend this to people who can stomach odd presentations.
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2008
  6. Anomie

    Anomie First Year

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2006
    Messages:
    24
    I screwed up the format, yeah. Sorry about that.
     
  7. Mors

    Mors Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    814
    Location:
    Somewhere they dont haet teh leet.
    I like odd presentations, and I definitely liked the fic. It had to have been hard for the author to have pulled all of it off. Nicely done.

    3.25/5.
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2008