I'm not gonna do an American Idol fuck-up and say "Nooo my story is good, i dont suck, please love me world"
That's not the point here.
You say the story is unreedemable, that may be, but seriously, you have not even seen a little bit of what it can become.


While you, Taure, have been a complete jerk most of the time, you actually just gave me a bit of useful advice. I will try to find a more original way to start up the story. But seriously, there's a different between expressing one's opinion and being a complete jackass. You're the later case.

Oh well, If there are mods around, I'd be glad if you took the thread down. I'll try to work a bit on it and we'll see if it improves or if I'm an uncurably crappy author.

But then again, I really don't value the opinions on these forums all that greatly, seeing as you made Sin of existance delete his entire story collection which was really entertaining despite one or two cliche traps he walked into.


Laters.

 

fail...or lulz?

 

I call shenanigans.

This is some bored poster who is baiting us out of boredom. My money is on kalantha for being the werewolf.

/msg werebot vote kalantha

 

Why the fuck are you on DLP exactly? Think of us as a room full of Simon Cowels' who regularly rape the odd Paula who wanders in :awesome

How about you give us your so called "original idea" and we'll let you know if it's worth writing about. That'd be a good start.

...lmfao...

 

First off I'll say that I did in fact read the entire first chapter of your story, if for no other reason then I wouldn't feel like a hypocrite when reviewing it. I'll start on that and say that honestly there is nothing to review. Your idea is not in the least original, unless you turn it into some religious crap (and even then it probably wouldn't be original, just something I don't bother reading.) Your grammar and such isn't bad, however considering how much is verbatim from the first book I don't really think it's fair to judge it yet. The introduction to the story would ordinarily make me turn my back on it because it was so boring, however because of all the fuss going on about it I'll probably read the next chapter to just see what happens. Overall the only advice I can give you is that you'll never be anything close to a good writer if you don't use original ideas, and this means from the very beginning.

Now on to your crying about the flames. Honestly what did you expect? If you had lurked at all you would have learned that we, DLP, don't take well to uppity brats who think that their piece of writing is awesome because they think it is. You wanted honest reviews, you've got the right place. However that means accepting that your story sucks and you need to do something radically different. Lastly, if you had bothered to lurk at all you would know that Taure is one of the people that gives the longest and most in depth critical reviews, so the fact even he says there is nothing to salvage really should show you something.

 

For fuck's sake and for the last time, we never made SoE delete his stories. He did that on his own after receiving encouraging (if honest) reviews, 4 in total if I recall correctly. Then after we asked him why the hell he had created a thread if it was to delete his stories without warning two hours later, he threw a hissy fit, put up that heap of stinking bullshit on his profile saying nonjon and Vash had made him delete his stories, and solemnly declared he was leaving DLP and the world of fanfiction for ever.

Since this teary, dramatic departure, he's created 5 new accounts on DLP, namely IllusionFiend, VeelaCultist, PhantasmagoricBlade, Enusdawenus and gz1993567. He's writing a new story under the name PhantasmagoricBlade.

Forgive me for laughing.