Challenge #1

Summary:
Create a scenario in which Dumbledore and Voldemort - powerful Dumbledore and Voldemort, mind you, a la Shezza88's Denarian series or nuhuh's Demon's Feign, Merlin's Pain - are forced into fighting TOGETHER.

Rules:
*Dumbledore and Voldemort are engaged in a duel during Voldemort's first rise to power.
*Some situation - other wizards, muggle military, etc - forces them to cease their duel and engage the new threat directly.
*Dumbledore duels with his normal whimsy, attempting to not kill, while Voldemort unleashes dark magic, maiming and killing.
*They do not re-engage their own fight afterwards, for whatever reason you wish.

 

There isn't exactly any plot here to create a story. You just want to read an action scene that utilizes the plot bunny of Dumbledore and Voldemort fighting together.

 

It's epic, but it would only work as a quick one-shot or a crackfic. I might take it up as a joke and post it when I'm finished. Don't expect a novel though... lol.

 

I've had a plot bunny like this for ages, where dumbledore and Riddle have to team up to fight the encroaching zombie horde... uh, it seeing the light of day is another issue completely though.

 

One can never go wrong with zombies.

Unless you're Uwe Boll, of course.

 

Okay, here is is:

It was a dark time, a month and year during the Dark Lord Voldemort's first rise to power. Dark clouds clouded the blackening sky. Blood red skies scattered the clouds, and evil green suns glittered the heavens. All together, it made you sick.

Dumbledore and Voldemort were engaged in a horrific but powerful duel.

"Snickerdoodle!" proclaimed Dumbledore, sending the epic cleansing curse of McMonkey.

"Rippersnatch!" countered Riddle, the horrid curse of bone implosion.

Suddenly an enormous beast forty fathoms high appeared from nothingness, his form enclosed in four physical dimensions of horror. It was Cthulu's pet Yaz'igmthonlgogz (unpronouncable) ssfergznz. And it had gotten out of its cage.

Riddle and Dumbledore took one look at the creature, back at each other, then shrugged. They decided to just ignore it and continue dueling. As they continued their stalemate, a group of three powerful wizards and the Muggle Prime Minister ran over to them.

"Stop at once!" They entreated the two ridiculously powerful wizards. "We need your help!"

Riddle and Dumbledore took one look at the men, back at each other, then shrugged. They decided to help out and kill the hideous monstrosity from the nightmares of Satan.

"Flipper Sudsworthy!" Dumbledore incanted with a hearty laugh and an infectious grin. Instantly a horde of adorable bunnies and fish appeared inside the monster's colon, who looked a bit constipated.

"Severus Maximus!" yelled Riddle. The ancient curse of Really Impressive Severing. The monster's left testicle sliced clean off. It did not look happy.

"Happiness Monkeys!" Dumbledore shouted with glee.

"Vileness Horsepuncher!" Riddle screeched with vile intent.

The two vastly differtent curses met and mutated. The monster instantly became both a happy monkey and punched sick horse. That odd paradox caused the monster to be wiped from existence forevermore.

"Fancy a drink, Tom?" Dumbledore asked.

Riddle frowned and considered. "I have built up quite a thirst," he admitted.

"First round on me?" Albus asked.

"Very well." Riddle's darkened. "But if you welch on the tab there will be HELL TO PAY."

The two looked at each other and burst into hearty laughter.

"You know something, Tommy?" Albus asked, putting his arm around the Dark Lord Voldemort's shoulder. "This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

 

Awesomely horrible.

 

Awesomely horrible just about covers it, I think. Way to sum it up in two words, Averis.

 

I applaud your choice of incantations.

 

Oh god, has anyone used "Snickerdoodle" as an incantation yet? I'm laughing my ass off here. We just need "Snicker-snack!", "Bandersnatch!" and a contemptible plot and you have the best HP spoof ever.

 

I think I may have subconsciously referenced the Jabberwocky poem for those curses. Suddenly this short bit of nonsense got 10% more highbrow.

 

And there is DLP's new slogan.

I think Vileness Horsepuncher was my favorite.

 

So I'm the only one whose favorite is "Flipper Sudsworthy"? And "Severus Maximus"? - I thought Riddle was about to Transfigure the beast into a giant Snape at first.

@Warlocke: I too welcome the new DLP slogan.

 

Funny as hell. "Horsepunch" had me laughing my ass off. Very nice.

 

Happy Monkeys is so incharacter for Dumbledore. I always pictured him as a bit of a loon, more or less, an eccentric yet humerous genius. I'd like to see more stories with an obviously mad Dumbledore.

 

Dude. Shut Up.

 

Necroposting this much is a one way ticket to the banhammer.